


Pain Only Feeds My Will

by CharmedLuna



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Brainwashing, F/M, Love Confessions, Self Sacrifice, Spoilers, The Promise, The Search, atlab, graphic novel spoilers, the last airbender - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:08:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 48,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23778898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharmedLuna/pseuds/CharmedLuna
Summary: Xia's sole purpose is to protect the Avatar. She failed and now she is in the hands of the Fire Lord.She becomes another pawn in the 100 year war.Zuko made his choice in Ba Sing Se. He chose to get his honor back, but he lost the two people who believed there was good in him.
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Zuko (Avatar)/Original Female Character(s), Zuko - Relationship, Zuko/Original Female Character
Comments: 12
Kudos: 59





	1. Choices

Xia’s body shivered from head to toe. 

The Fire Lord. Right in front of her.

She could see the features of Zuko in him, but nothing like him at all. The one from the crystal cave. That Zuko had been the one she had seen in him all along.

The golden eyes were familiar, but these eyes were…evil. Down to the core. 

“Not the Avatar, but good enough,” He walked around her.

She was in some sort of throne room. Her arms cuffed behind her with iron clads on her knees.

“Your death will discourage others. My son included. Azula did mention about his feelings for you.”

“Clearly he made his choice, so if you’re going to kill me, then do it,” she growled. Finding strength not to show any weakness.

“No, I have a much better plan for you,” he stood in front of her. He grabbed her chin and tilted her head up so their eyes met. “You’re better to me alive than dead. Your death could cause a rebellion. In fact, I am taking advice from the Dai Li…” the throne doors opened behind her and a shiver went down her spine. A different one. A dark one. “I have to give credit to my daughter. Her idea, really.”

It did take her along moment to piece it all together. Her mind went to Jet and what they did to him.

“The Avatar’s family siding with the Fire Nation should discourage any rebellion,” the Fire Lord grinned as two Dai Li pulled her away.

“No! You won’t get away with this!” She hissed as she was dragged away.

“Oh, but I already have,” Fire Lord Ozai laughed.

**

Zuko wasn’t sure what he was going to do. His father was finally talking to him. All because Azula told him he had killed the Avatar. Not how it happened. He flinched at the memory of Aang being electrocuted. Worse was watching Xia hold her brother in her arms. Her eyes went to him and it had hurt to his core to see her pain.

Then he saw hatred in her eyes. Towards him. She had never looked at him that way. She had always told him there was good in him. That she felt it and saw it. For a little bit, he had thought so too. In that cave. When she kissed him, his world had felt complete. But he had to go and betray her.

The need to get his honor back had outweighed his good.

He entered his room and there standing by his window was Xia. Her back turned to him. Several emotions went through him all at once. Joy, curiosity, and fear.

“Xia, what are you doing here?”

He recognized it was her. He knew her anywhere she went. She turned around and faced him. He stopped short when he saw her smiling face. That he did not expect. He expected her eyes to be filled with the hatred that haunted his dreams.

When he stood in front of her, he felt like he was dreaming.

“Zuko!” She laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck.

To say he was shocked she was hugging him, was an understatement. But he couldn’t deny how good it felt.

“I’ve been waiting for hours,” she giggled. He pulled her back by her shoulders, so he could look in her eyes. And the rest of her.

Her hair was down instead of being up. It looked nice down. But what stood out were her Fire Nation clothes. He could hardly believe what was going on.

“Did you escape?” he frowned. He grew nervous for a moment. He worried for her. He didn’t want to see her hurt.

“Escape?” she laughed and tilted her head to the side.

Zuko noticed there was something off about her eyes. They were different. He didn’t recognize them as hers. He wasn’t sure what was happening.

“Can we walk around the garden? I saw a pond with some turtle-ducks, and they look so adorable!” She clasped her hands together and pouted.

He needed to find out what was happening, and he knew his sister would have the answers.

“I’ll—I’ll meet you there. I have to ask Azula something,” he said his sister’s name to see if he would get a reaction. Afterall, Xia had seen his sister kill her little brother. Possibly. But Xia nodded and leaned in and pecked his lips.

“See you out there then,” she giggled again. She walked out of his room.

He touched his lips unable to believe it was her. He straightened his back and got rid of the tingly feeling. He went straight to Azula’s room. He needed to make sure this wasn’t a test or something. And how did they get Xia to participate? She just lost her brother. The one person she spent her whole life training to protect.

He barged into his sister’s room.

Azula was meditating and she didn’t bother opening her eyes. Zuko marched over to his sister.

“What the hell is going on?!” he demanded.

“What? I thought you’d be happy, brother,” Azula’s lip curled into a sinister smile. She opened her eyes and saw her older brother in front of her fuming. “You were so sad to lose your girlfriend. I suggested to father merely that she was more valuable alive than dead. You can thank me for saving her life later,” she winked and got up.

“She’s not herself,” Zuko walked over to Azula’s window which looked over the garden and he spotted Xia kneeling next to the pond feeding the turtle-ducks. His heart skipped a beat at the sight. But he frowned. “What did you do to her?”

Azula rolled her eyes. “Just a little note from the Dai Li’s,” she shrugged.

Zuko remembered Jet and he turned quickly to his sister. “You brainwashed her!” he clenched his hands into fists until steam came out.

“You think she would suddenly want to be with you? After betraying her like you did?” Azula laughed and it stung Zuko knowing she was right. “Brother, this is your reward. For killing the Avatar. You get your happy ending.”

Zuko unclenched his hands. “Not like this.” He muttered and turned away. “She’s…special.”

“Of course," Azula rolled her eyes, "I mean, if you don’t want her, she can always be put back in prison with Uncle Iroh. She can spend her final days there until Father decides to end her,” Azula teased. “She’s only alive because of you and me. So, here is where you decide her fate. I will give her credit where its due. It did take the Dai Li too long to break her. She fought it for days.”

Zuko thought about Xia. How she was before. What he loved about her was the fire in her eyes. A fire much like his own. He had seen himself in her. She mentioned she understood about honor. How she had to work hard for it because she was a female monk. She had to work twice as hard. She lived in the shadow of her little brother because he was the Avatar and she was sworn to protect him with her life.

He wanted that Xia. Not whatever version his Father made. But if he rejected her, she would be executed. He couldn’t allow that. But he also couldn’t pretend she was herself. He would have to tread careful. He still wasn’t sure if it was a test from his father or not. For now, he would play along.

“All right, she stays,” he said as he walked out.

“Enjoy your date!” Azula called out as he left.

Zuko was furious. He truly was stuck between a rock and a hard place. His Uncle would know what to tell him. What to do.

He went to the garden and as he approached Xia, his heart grew heavier. He cared for her. So much. So why did he betray her? He got his honor. He should be happy. But he was more miserable now. There was still rage inside of him.

Worse was that he knew there was a big chance the Avatar was alive. He remembered that water Katara showed him. The one from the North Pole.

A part of him wished he told Xia that. That her brother was alive.

She turned to him and smiled softly. She had food in her hand. He hated he was doing this. Every fiber in his being told him it was wrong. But he feared what would happen to her if he didn’t go along with this.

“You know. My mother and I used to come feed these turtle-ducks,” he sat next to her. He could pretend. To keep her safe. Because he loves her.

Because he liked the way she saw him.

“Really?” she giggled. “How cute. I bet you were a cute kid.”

Zuko couldn’t help but blush. “I don’t know. Before the scar, I guess,” he touched his left side. Xia’s hand cradled his left side and he looked at her.

“You’re still handsome,” her cheeks were a light pink.

Zuko frowned and pushed her hand down. He didn’t deserve her kindness. He turned back to the pond.

**

It was getting harder and harder to push Xia away. She wanted to kiss him. He wanted nothing else, but not like this. He knew it wouldn’t be like it was in the cave. The sparkle in her eyes wouldn’t be there. So he made sure to keep them busy. They would go read.

Go walk to the beach.

It was awkward around Mai. Well, it was bad actually. He had talked to her and it didn’t go well. Mai said it was fine, but he knew to her it wasn’t. He had hurt her.

Azula didn’t seem to care she was the one who did that to Mai. To Azula, it was all about business. Everyone was a pawn.

The announcement of Xia’s relationship with Prince Zuko was going to be given soon. There was going to be a party. At first, he refused, then Azula reminded him of the consequences.

He hated that he felt like a prisoner as well.

The day of the announcement, he didn’t see Xia all day. He put his Prince uniform. He stared at himself in the mirror and hated what he saw.

He was told to pick up Xia so they could walk out together. He went to her room, which was not far from his.

She emerged from her room and his jaw dropped. Her dress was purple and it looked beautiful on her. Her makeup was done and her hair was half up.

“Do I look okay?” she asked with red cheeks.

“Yeah, of course, you look beautiful,” he commented. He was sure his entire face was red. She giggled and she examined him. Suddenly, he was well aware of what he was wearing and wondered if she approved.

Her smile said she did. “I like it, but I do prefer your hair down.”

“I’m so nervous,” she whispered as they were lead towards the balcony that overlooked some of the Fire Nation army.

Zuko reached for her hand, threaded his fingers with hers and squeezed it. “No harm will come to you when I’m with you. I promise.” And he meant that.

Her eyes sparkled, but not like he knows they should. “Thank you, Zuko,” she leaned her head on his shoulder.

Azula gave a speech. About how the Avatar was defeated. Xia gave no sign of recognizing that. He clenched his other hand in guilt. They must have really brainwashed her. She didn’t flinch or anything at the mention of her brother. But he calmed himself, so nothing could be given away.

His sister gestured for them to come forward.

The crowd cheered and Xia squeezed his hand tightly. She waved and he waved as well. He moved them back after a minute or two.

At the party, a lot of people wanted to talk to Xia.

He kept her close. He made sure the talks were short. They sat next to each other when it was time to eat. He made sure she was all right.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Xia whispered to him as they finished talking to yet another General.

He nodded. They snuck out and they went to the beach. They walked side by side, no longer holding hands. Her eyes were up to the stars.

“Zuko,” Xia stopped walking and he turned to her. “Did I do something?”

“What?”

“You’re distant. It’s like you don’t want to be around me,” she played with her hands.

Her nervous tic. He knew that about her.

“It’s not that. I like—love being around you,” he approached her and took her hands with his. “It’s just complicated.”

“What is?”

Zuko knew better than to test the water, but he hated doing this. His guilt was building and building.

“Xia, do you remember what happened in the crystal cave?” he squeezed her hands. “I told you about I went through. My…metamorphosis? Do you remember your brother Aang?”

Xia tightened his hands. He dared to look her in the eyes. He saw the internal struggle and her breathing came quicker. It seemed it was the name of her brother that triggered her.

“Aa-Aang?” she released his hands and took several steps back. She groaned in pain and cradled her head.

He knew he messed up.

“Xia! Fire Lord Ozai, would like you to join him on a walk to the beach,” Azula’s voice came from behind Xia.

Xia stopped moving and then straightened herself. Zuko watched her pupil dilate until they looked black. She didn’t move an inch as Azula walked over to them.

“You will forget what just happened. In three, two one,” Azula snapped her fingers.

Xia’s eyes returned to normal and smiled. Her eyes went to Azula and then to Zuko.

“Are you joining us, Princess?” Xia’s voice returned to ‘normal’.

“I will. I just have to talk to my big brother for a moment, will you excuse us?” Azula’s niceness was weird.

Xia nodded, bowed and then walked back towards the palace. Azula turned to him sharply. 

“Are you stupid? Did you really want to lose her?” she growled. “After just announcing it too?”

“What did you do to her?” Zuko’s voice was void of any emotion, but also every emotion. Rage. Hate. Fury.

“We have precautions in case she gets her memory back. The Dai Li were thorough,” she scoffed. “This is the one and only time I do this. If you do it again, Zuko, I will tell father and you will be the reason she dies.”

Azula left him at the beach.

Zuko released his rage with fire. He hated this. He hated himself!

What is he supposed to do?

Then a wave of calmness came to him. His Uncle could tell him what to do. He needed to advice. His guidance.


	2. Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zuko tries to convince the Gaang he should join.
> 
> It does not go well.

Visiting his Uncle was stupid.

He said nothing to Zuko. Again.

He begged him for the answer.

“What should I do, Uncle?!” Zuko shouted. “Xia’s life hangs in the balance! I…I…don’t want to lose her.”

His uncle remained silent.

“Please, Uncle,” Zuko went to his knees with tears streaming down his face, “I hate myself even more. I should be happy. I have Father’s love. My honor and Xia by my side. But…I loathe knowing how I got it!” He slammed his fist down on the concrete.

But his Uncle said nothing.

Now he was back again with Xia as they fed the turtle-ducks. Her head on his shoulder and more anger inside of him they he had ever known.

**

Zuko learned the truth about his grandfather. It disgusted him to find out how it all came about. He realized the Fire Nation wasn’t as great as he was taught.

They were traitors.

They were selfish.

Zuko had to make it right.

But how?

The day of the black sun. Xia was taken to be his father. She was meant to be bait. If the rebellion did indeed get to his father, they would use her against them.

Zuko played along for now.

He entered the room. Ready confront his father.

Xia sat next to his father. Her eyes widened seeing him, but she smiled. She was behind a line of soldiers.

“Zuko,” she spoke his name and he swears he will hear it from the real Xia. He also knew that once she regained her memory, there was a strong chance, she will hate him. But he would rather have her hate him than live in this illusion.

“Prince Zuko, what are you doing here?” His father spoke.

“I’m here to tell the truth,” Zuko replied.

“During the middle of an eclipse? This should be interesting,” with one look the soldiers started to move. They went through a door to Zuko’s left.

Xia kept her eyes on him. Uncertainty in hers.

“First off, in Ba Sing Se, it was Azula who took down the Avatar. Not me.”

Xia’s eyes widened.

“Why would she lie to me about that?” his father inquired.

“Because the Avatar is not dead,” Zuko turned to Xia, “Aang is alive.”

He saw the moment it happened. When the fog left her eyes.

“What?!” his father growled.

Xia got up and left Fire Lord Ozai’s side and went to Zuko.

“In fact, he’s probably leading the invasion as we speak. He could be on his way here right now!” His father stood and shouted. 

“Get out of my sight if you know what’s good for you! And you,” he turned his attention to Xia, “the Fire Lord Ozai—”

“NO!” Zuko put Xia behind him. “You won’t control her anymore! I won’t be taking orders from you anymore.”

“You will obey me, or this defiant scene will be your last!”

“Think again!” Zuko brought out his swords. “I am going to speak my mind and you will listen.”

His father sat again. Golden eyes filled with disgust.

Xia listened as Zuko explained to his father how he felt. She just regained control and she should be running away, but she also knew she was safe now.

His father temped Zuko to attack, but he didn’t take the bait. Zuko mentioned how he was going to help Aang. Help him bring down his own father. Zuko turned to her and she nodded. They were leaving. Together. She walked next to him. His father threatened Zuko and then brought up his mom.

Zuko stopped walking. She knew the topic of his mom was a touchy one. Fire Lord Ozai explained how Zuko’s grandfather had wanted Zuko dead. Ozai was going to do it, but his mother helped in a plan to save Zuko and give Ozai the throne. She was banished for it. But she wasn’t dead.

“Your penalty will be far steeper,” Ozai’s eyes turned to Xia. He shot lightning towards her. 

Everything went in slow motion as she saw Zuko move in front of her. Tears filled her eyes thinking he got hit with it, but Zuko redirected the attack to his father.

Before she could think, she felt Zuko grab her wrist and pulled her as they ran away.

She hardly had time to figure out where she was. She could see they were underground. Left. Right. Left. Left. Right.

They kept running and running.

Finally, they were out of where they were. A mountain it seemed. She finally turned to Zuko.

“Where are we going?” she demanded.

“We have to get out of here. I have a plan,” he told her. He grabbed her wrist again and he guided her to the air balloon. “They’ll think we’re part of them, so we won’t be taken out. We have to move now, Xia. Your brother and your friends will probably be escaping, and we need to be in the air so we can join them.”

At the mention of her brother, she moves. She gets on. Zuko used his fire bending to make it go into the air.

Soon they reached the right altitude to hide over the clouds. Xia finally felt the adrenaline wear off and the headache came pounding. She released a groan and cradled her head with her hands.

“Is it bad?” Zuko spoke and she snapped her eyes open.

“What happened?” she said through her teeth. “How…why was I next to your father? Why weren’t my hands around his neck?!”

Zuko gulped and took a deep breath. “My sister knows how I feel about you. She…brainwashed you to…be with me.” Xia’s eyes widened in fear. “Not like that!” he said at once. “Just…so you wouldn’t fight back. They used you—us to make the world believe you had turned sides and were with the Fire Nation.”

Zuko was tackled to the ground by her. He didn’t fight back, and he expected to get hit. Her fist was in the air, but her whole body was shaking, and she didn’t move. They stared into each other’s eyes. Zuko was glad to see that fire again in her eyes. But he also saw raw pain.

“The Dai Li…I remember them now…the light…going around and around,” her lip quivered. “So many days without food or water.” She collapsed next to him. Passed out. Too much to process.

Zuko’s guilt ate at him. He did this to her. He’ll never forgive himself. He had planned to beg for forgiveness, and he will once she wakes up. He placed a blanket over her. He had stashed this balloon with food, water and a tent since he planned to join the Avatar.

He also brought a pillow and he placed it under her head.

A familiar shadow flew over them. Quickly.

Appa. The bison he helped release. He redirected the balloon in that direction. He planned to make it all better.

**

Xia woke up and she wasn’t in the balloon anymore. She was on the ground and in a tent. She sat up and rubbed her temples. She couldn’t believe what was done to her. She remembered how Jet had been when he found out he was brainwashed. She closed her eyes and flashes of herself with Zuko next to a pond came to mind. Flashes of walking down the beach. They felt like dreams, but she knew they happened.

She inhaled a shaky breath and opened her eyes. Nothing physically happened to her. There wasn’t much that was changed about her. Just her hatred for the Fire Nation that was changed. What she had felt for Zuko, that was left intact. So, what she felt with him as they had fed those turtle-ducks and walked around the villages, that had been real.

More importantly Aang was alive. Her eyes filled with emotional tears knowing he wasn’t gone. Her hands trembled at the memory of holding his body in her arms. She wiped away the tears and clenched her hands. She needed to get back to him.

She left the tent and found Zuko talking to a frog. She watched as he practiced how to introduce himself to her friends. Why did she still…love him? She had every right to hate him. What his family did to her was unforgiveable. Yet, she couldn’t hate him.

She cleared her throat and he stopped and turned to her.

“You’re awake,” he sighed in relief.

She narrowed her eyes and approached him. “Your family brainwashed me.” Not a question. A statement.

“It was to keep you safe,” he told her. “Not that should make it okay, but Azula said…it was either that or…” he shook his head and she knew what he meant. “I promised nothing ever happened between us. Not even a kiss,” he turned his head away. “I would never.”

She believed him. She might not have all the memory of it, but she knew nothing happened. But she also couldn’t forgive him. Not right now.

She still remembered the pain she felt when he turned against her. After the kiss they had shared in the cave. She had felt good in him from the start. Always advocated to her brother that he was going to turn. She put her trust in him, and it hurt her brother. The person she loved the most in this world.

When she had him in her arms, there had been no pulse. Katara had probably used the spirit water to heal him.

“Did you mean what you said?” she asked. “You know the Fire Nation is in the wrong?”

He nodded his head. “I found out how the war got started. How my great-grandfather betrayed his friend. Killed the last Avatar so he could begin the invasion.”

“Is that the only reason why?” she pushed. Wanting to hear it from him. 

“Xia,” he took a step towards her, but she took one back, pain flinched across his face, “there are no words to describe how sorry I am for what my father and sister did to you. But I promise…they’ll pay for it.” 

The look in his eyes told her he was determined. She looked around and realized where she was.

“We’re by the Eastern Air Temple,” she remembered and then smiled. She would have suggested this place as well. “A good place to hide in.”

“I am on my way to ask to join you guys,” Zuko returned his gaze to her.

“So, you want to help us take down your people?” she questioned. “What made you change your mind? Again.” She glared.

“What I said in the cave, I meant every word. I realize the Fire Nation has only brought death and destruction. I know I’m meant to help you guys. My destiny is to help your brother return balance.”

“You know it won’t be easy. You’ve hurt Katara and Sokka the most. Katara and I placed our trust in you in Ba Sing Se and you turned on us.”

“It was a mistake. I know it. But I want to redeem myself, please. I want to make things right. Bring balance to the world.”

Xia sighed. She couldn’t find it in her to accept his apology instead she looked down at her Fire Nation clothes. “Guess I’ll have to keep these for now,” she muttered.

“I brought your clothes,” he pointed to the tent. “It’s in the bag in there. I had it fixed before…this.”

She didn’t thank him. She just went back into the tent and found her clothes. She removed the Fire Nation clothes and went back to her old clothes. She clenched her hands. So Azula did the brainwashing. Xia was going to make sure she paid.

She did the math and she must have been under the spell for several weeks. More time taken away from her. First 100 years and now some several weeks. When was the universe going to stop testing her so much? She took a deep breath and rejoined Zuko.

She didn’t miss his blush.

“I—uh—it’s nice to see you back,” Zuko met her eyes and she found sincerity in them.

“Let’s go,” she muttered. She knew the area where she was at and knew the way to the temple.

**

“Aang, I’m sorry we couldn’t find your sister,” Katara told him.

Aang slouched his shoulders. He had searched the entire palace and didn’t find her.

“She wasn’t in the prison,” Sokka mentioned.

Toph gasped. “I think she found us.”

Appa moved and revealed Xia.

Xia ran towards her little brother. Aang ran towards her. They embraced each other tightly. Tears streamed down their faces. They squeezed each other tightly. They released each other and looked into each other’s eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Aang,” she told him. “My whole life…is about protecting you and I didn’t.”

He shook his head. “No. I’m sorry. I should’ve saved you sooner. I was…too scared.”

Katara, Sokka and Toph joined them in another group hug. Appa licked her and she laughed. Momo licked her as well. She missed them. Her family.

“How did you escape?” Sokka asked when they all pulled apart from each other.

Xia took some steps back and looked behind her. Zuko walked from behind the pillar.

“Hello, Zuko here,” he waved his hand.

Immediately they all got into their fighting stance.

“Hey, I heard you flying around down there so I just thought I’d wait for you here,” he told them.

Appa approached him and Xia didn’t expect to see the bison lick Zuko. Everyone was bewildered.

“Zuko…helped me escape,” Xia told them. She knew right now wasn’t the right time to tell them about the brainwashing. It wouldn’t make things easier. She knew Aang needed a fire bending teacher. Zuko was meant to be that person. She had known it from the start.

“Probably to use you as bait!” Katara glared at Zuko. 

“I’m not,” Xia told them. She turned to Zuko and gestured him to continue.

“Well, I wanted to tell you that I’ve changed. I’m good now and well I think I should join your group,” he eyed Xia and she gave him a look to finish with what she told him. “Oh! And I can teach fire bending. To you,” he turned to Aang.

The idea was immediately shot down. To no one’s surprise. Zuko countered with how he could have stolen Appa but instead he set him free, which explained why Appa liked him. Appa licked him again.

He was reminded of the things he did and Zuko’s shoulders dropped.

“Look, I admit I’ve done some awful things, I was wrong to try to capture you. I’m sorry I attacked the water tribe. I never should’ve sent that fire nation assassin to stop you or brainwashed Xia into joining the Fire Nation.”

Xia groaned and shook her head. She saw her family turn to her. Aang’s eyes filled with rage.

“Wait you sent combustion man after us?!” Sokka screamed.

“You brainwashed my sister?!” Aang clenched his hands tightly.

This was not going how it was supposed to, but Xia knew it wouldn’t happen the first try. Now especially since Zuko revealed what was done to her. She had planned not to say anything in order to make it work.

Zuko turned to her for help. She shook her head letting him know this wasn’t going well. Then he turned to her brother.

“You said you thought you and I could be friends. You know I have good in me.”

Aang turned to his friends and then to his sister.

“That was before you brainwashed my sister,” Aang told Zuko. “There’s no way we can trust you after everything you’ve done. There’s no way we’re letting you join us!”

Xia went to Zuko.

“Xia! Get away from the enemy!” Sokka told her.

She ignored him and turned to Zuko. “Go for now. I’ll try to convince them. Maybe next time don’t reveal everything.”

His golden eyes were sad, but he nodded and left.


	3. Scars

Xia saw that it was more than just her family. There were others that were with them from the invasion. She greeted them.

“Xia,” Aang grabbed her hand and she turned to her little brother, whose eyes were drowning in tears, “I’m so sorry! I should have tried to save you! We-we didn’t kn-know.”

Xia smiled. “Of course, you didn’t. But I’m fine now.”

“How could you not be angry?” Katara spread her arms. “You just told us he brainwashed you.”

Xia sighed. “Let’s all sit down.”

Sha gathered them together. It felt like a lifetime since they were together like this.

“It wasn’t Zuko’s fault,” she told them. “He thought I would be imprisoned. He didn’t know his sister had come up with a plan. The world would lose hope if they Avatar’s sibling turned to the Fire Nation. They had the Dai Li do what they did to Jet to me. Azula and the Fire Lord wanted the world to lose hope. Either I played that part, or they’d kill me. I haven’t forgiven him for what he did in Ba Sing Se,” she said to Aang, “but he kept me safe in his own way. The only way he knew.”

Xia looked up to the ceiling wanting to keep the tears in.

“I am not expecting you guys to forgive him either. But I want you to at least think about it.”

“No way!” Katara growled. “He betrayed us! He has made our lives a living hell!”

“He was sincere though,” Toph countered.

“Didn’t we just learn that his family is really good at lying?” Sokka shrugged.

“Xia, how can you just let it go?” Katara asked.

“I’m not!” Xia raised her voice, which she rarely did. “But I also know that Aang doesn’t stand a chance against the Fire Lord if he doesn’t learn to Fire Bend! Zuko is meant to be the one to teach him. I felt that from the moment I met him. You guys have to stop thinking with your hurt feelings. The weight of the world depends on it. Just think about it.”

**

Aang and Xia spent some time together catching up. About how he lost his ability to enter the Avatar state. Then about what how he felt he was going to fail again. How much he missed her.

“Are you right about Zuko?” he asked.

“You told me he saved you from that Admiral guy,” she remembered.

“Only because he wanted to be the one to catch me.”

Xia thought about everything. “I’ve had this feeling about Zuko since I met him. The monks taught us there is good in everyone. Well, when I saw Zuko, I saw it. Now that I’ve met his father, I know how it looks when there is no good at all. When it’s all gone.”

“Are you okay?” Aang grabbed her hand. “Brainwashing doesn’t seem like a fun thing to go through.”

Xia smiled. “I didn’t exactly make it easy for them. It took them a few days, I think. I understand why everyone is hesitant, but time is running out, Aang. The comet is coming, and you need to learn fire bending.”

They embraced each other. The last air nomads. Together. They rejoined the others and they talked about old times. They ate together and then it was time to go to sleep. Xia went to Appa and hugged him. She fell asleep on one of his paws. She tried to sleep in that room. Her old room when she used to visit the temple. But she couldn’t be there.

But the nightmare didn’t let her sleep. Tortured in darkness with only that light going around and around. The Dai Li telling her the Fire Lord wanted to take her on a walk to the beach. She woke up startled. She was getting a bad feeling. The kind she had before the invasion of Ba Sing Se when everyone had gone their separate ways, and everything went wrong.

The feeling she had when she left with Aang that night. The monks used to tell her she had a sixth sense. She could feel trouble coming. It was one of the reasons they made her the bodyguard for the Avatar. Back then she didn’t understand why she was sent across the world to train in combat when the monks didn’t believe in violence, but they knew the Fire Nation was getting ready to launch their invasion and wanted her trained to help Aang.

Zuko went through her mind again. She was getting flashes of them together again. He bought her flowers once. They often would just read as well. It had been natural for them to fall into a pattern. She didn’t hate him. She wasn’t raised to have hatred in her heart. She knew he was doing what he could with what he had. If she had been in his place, she would have done the same.

Was this love always going to get in the way?

He would protect her, and she would protect him.

After some time, she did find the sleep she needed.

Only this time it was a vision. Aang in the Avatar state walking towards the Fire Lord Ozai who was on his knees looking defeated. A part of her told her Aang was getting ready to kill him. She screamed at Aang that he didn’t have to. He was only 12. Just a boy. When she woke up this time, it was because Katara shook her.

“Xia! Zuko hurt Toph!”

Xia stood up and saw as Sokka carried Toph over to the water fountain. Her soles were pretty red. Katara had clearly already healed them.

“He didn’t mean it. I startled him. It was an accident,” Toph told them.

“This just proves we can’t trust him!” Katara crossed her arms across her chest.

“I hate to say it, but she’s right,” Aang admitted. “I can’t forget what they did to you, Xia. And now Toph? I’ll find another fire bending teacher.”

Xia groaned. She knew Zuko was stupid, but she didn’t think he was an idiot. Convincing them was going to be much harder now. And they didn’t have a lot of time.

She heard it before the contact. It was like a cannon from a ship. It hit the temple and it shook and dust fell from the ceiling. All their eyes went to the cliff that was across from them. There was a tall, tall man. She figured that was the assassin Zuko had mentioned. Also, Zuko was there. Yelling that the mission was off and that he didn’t want the Avatar dead.

The assassin had other plans it seems. He threw Zuko to the side like a bag of potatoes and shot again. With his third eye? Xia had never seen anything like it. The shot hit the temple ceiling again and they had to duck for cover. Xia covered Aang with her body and then snuck a look to see if Zuko was okay.

He tried to fight off the assassin but in size Zuko didn’t have the upper hand. Combustion man sent another blast their way.

Xia barely had time to duck, but she kept her eyes on Zuko. Her heart beat out of her chest. The assassin was clearly targeting Zuko now and sent a blast towards him. Zuko used his fire bending, but it only made a bigger explosion.

“ZUKO! NO!” Xia found herself yelling with her heart in her throat. Zuko was gone pushed off the cliff. No, he wasn’t pushed off entirely. She saw him hanging onto a vine. Relief flooded her chest and now she could think clearly. “Aang, distract him! I’m gonna go help Zuko!”

“Got it!” Aang covered Xia as she made her way to help Zuko.

Combustion man followed her brother, but she knew he would be okay. She could see Zuko was struggling. She made her way to the cliff. She went to the edge. She went on her stomach and offered Zuko her hand.

His golden eyes filled with tears and he accepted her hand. She helped him up just as she heard a large explosion. Then she saw parts of combustion man get scattered around. She turned to Zuko and they smiled each other. Clearly something was still between them. Because for a moment she thought he was dead, and she had not felt that way since she held Aang in her arms.

“Do you think…they’ll be okay with me joining?” he asked.

“I hope so,” she panted as she caught her breath. She was in shape anymore.

**

They did let him join.

It wasn’t an easy blend either.

Xia went back to training. Weeks of no training showed when she tried to get to Zuko. She shouldn’t have been out of breath that easily.

She broke from the gang to train on her own. She started with her meditation. She centered her chakras. But as she tried to open some of them, it proved harder and harder. She had a lot of mixed feelings about her situation.

About Zuko.

About his sister and father. The people who took her free will away. For weeks. And didn’t see anything wrong with it.

She was taught to lead a life of forgiveness. So why couldn’t she find it in her heart to do it? She knew she shouldn’t force it. She needed time.

Time.

It always seemed to escape through her fingers like water.

When she rejoined the others, she saw that Appa, Zuko and Aang were missing. She asked Katara and apparently, they went to see why Zuko’s fire bending sucked. They were going to the sun warriors. She had heard of them. The first fire benders. They learned from the dragons. She missed riding a dragon.

“Hey, I thought of something,” Katara told her. “I was thinking of using the water to heal you from the brainwashing. I figured it’s much like a wound and I could at least try. I feel bad that I left you behind.”

Xia smiled and hugged Katara. “I told you to leave me. I don’t regret that. Aang comes first. Always.” She pulled back from the embrace. “I’m not sure if it’ll work, but it you want to try, I’m okay with it.”

They went back to Xia’s room and she laid on her bed. Katara stood at the end of the bed where her head was.

“Close your eyes,” Katara told her. “You’ll feel like you’re under water.”

Xia nodded her head and then concentrated on her breathing. She felt the water enter through her ear as if she had gone into the ocean and it had accidently gone in there. At first, she fought against it, but she forced her body to relax. Behind her eyes she got flashes of a blushing Zuko. They danced together at some party. She sees him as if she was right in front of him now.

There was a mixture of happiness and sadness in them. Then it switched to the cave. Zuko’s lips against hers. So soft. They moved with hers. Then when he turned against her. Then it went to her torture by the Dai Li.

“Sto-stop,” she moaned. Not sure if it was directed towards herself or to Katara. Then the memory of having a dead Aang in her arms became too much. “STOP!” Xia sat up quickly.

“Xia, are you okay?” Katara placed her hand on her arm.

She flinched away. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“That was…weird. I felt…the scars in your head. I tried to heal some of them,” Katara stared at her own hands in wonder.

“You’re a good healer, Katara. The best. Just…let’s not try it again. I’ll figure out another way.” She rubbed her temples trying to will the headache away.

**

Aang and Zuko returned.

Not much later after that, Zuko and Sokka left. Apparently to get more food. But she had heard Sokka ask Zuko about what happened to war prisoners. Katara had told her how a lot of the people who helped with the invasion were left behind. Their father among them. Haru’s father. Pipsqueak.

Xia resumed her training. She spared with Aang since they were both light on their feet. She went up against Toph and even came close to beating her. But Toph was now a metal bender so she had an unfair advantage.

She worried for Zuko. They were gone longer than he and Aang had been. Something told her they were in trouble. But she couldn’t do much for now. She needed to have faith in them.

Zuko and Sokka returned. But with newcomers. And some old. Suki was back. Sokka’s father. Another prisoner.

Xia went to check on Zuko.

“How did it go?” she asked him.

“My sister was there…Mai helped us escape,” Zuko told her.

“Mai?” Xia licked her lips. “Your real girlfriend?”

“She and I are not together,” Zuko corrected quickly. “She was upset about us but knows…how I still feel.”

“Us?” Xia raised an eyebrow.

“Let’s have an amazing dinner!” Sokka declared.

The couple didn’t have time to clarify anything. It took a while to get everything together so they could all have dinner together. Then it was clear the moment had passed.

She couldn’t think about her feelings. Not when the comet was so close.

A couple of days passed and then they were ambushed. Those war air balloons came into view. They were throwing bombs at them. Aang closed the giant metal panels meant for this kind of attacks. Toph made a way for them to escape. She helped everyone get inside and she turned and saw Zuko.

“What are you doing?!” she yelled at him.

“I have a feeling it’s family related,” he told her. He turned his head to her. “You can’t go near her. She knows your trigger words.”

Xia glared. She hated that. But she also trusted Zuko to hold his own. He had grown so much. He was a better skilled fire bender now. She nodded her head and went with the others. When she got there, Aang and Katara were struggling to get Appa into the tunnel that led to safety.

“He doesn’t want to go into the tunnel!” Aang told them.

“We have to split up then,” Xia declared. “Toph find us a way out for Appa.”

“No!” Katara cried and went to her father. “I don’t want to split up my family again!”

“There’s no other way. It won’t be for long,” Katara’s father hugged her tightly.

Xia would be a liar if that didn’t sting. She had a father. Giatsu had raised her too and she wished for nothing more than to be in his arms as well. But she was the oldest, so she had to take charge. Toph found a way for them leave.

When they were in the sky, as expected, they were followed. The others would be safe and be able to get to safety. Xia watched as Zuko fought his sister on the blimp balloons. He was just as strong as her. She was extremely skilled, but Xia could see something was off with Azula. Something had snapped within her. Like a string on a guitar had been pulled all the way and it was broken.

In a big explosion, they were both blown off the balloon. Xia told Aang to move Appa quickly and she caught Zuko’s hand and saved him. He smiled at her because now it was her turn to save him. She returned the smile, but then they both turn to see as Azula struggled.

“She’s not gonna make it,” Zuko said with a hint of sadness.

Even though his sister was evil, he still cared. She understood that because if Aang turned evil she would still fight by his side. But Azula being herself, she used her fire bending and was able to blow herself to the mountain and used a knife to hold herself against.

“Of course, she made it,” Zuko sighed with a bit of relief and a bit of disappointment as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who has supported this little story. My Zuko obsession has not lessened over the years. I'm super stoked the series is going to be available on Netflix soon.


	4. Scream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: depression. suicidal thoughts.

Xia wrapped her arms around herself as she stared at the fire. They had escaped but barely. She knew the mood had shifted to a darker place. Just yesterday there was laughter and some kind of normalcy. Yet it was snatched away from them again by the Fire Nation. Her eyes went to Sokka and Katara. Once again, they had to say goodbye to their father. She couldn’t imagine what that was like. To know you have someone so close yet so far. Well, maybe she did know it a little bit, but in a different way.

That night everyone seemed to be getting over the attack. Except Katara. She was still upset of being separated from her father again.

Xia caught some fish and she helped Katara make dinner. During dinner, some of them started to goof off. They gave Zuko praises for standing up against his sister. Everyone seemed to trust Zuko except Katara. Xia knew exactly why. After all, Katara had been there at the cave, she’d seen how Zuko made his choice.

Katara didn’t like how everyone joked with Zuko and she stormed off. Xia stood up ready to go talk to her, but Zuko told her he needed to clear the air with her.

She nodded and sat back down.

She finished her dinner.

A few minutes later Katara returned but even more mad than before. She went into her tent and with the clear intention of not being disturbed.

Zuko came back shortly after that. His face said it all.

Xia approached him and asked him how it went.

“Not well at all. Do you know how her mother died?” he asked.

Xia shook her head. “I’m not sure. Besides that it was the Fire Nation? They don’t really talk about it.” She hated to admit she never asked them about it. It felt too personal. Even though they’ve been through a lot together. She didn’t want to bring back bad memories. They were so young when they lost their mother.

Xia had feint memories of hers. Having been mostly raised to protect her brother, she didn’t have a lot of parental figures.

“Maybe you should ask Sokka. He’ll know more about it. And after you helped rescue his girlfriend, I’m sure he’ll help with what he can,” she advised.

Zuko smiled. “Thank you. That’s a good idea.” He placed his hand on her shoulder. She returned the smile and then they both realized his hand on her shoulder remained there. He cleared his throat and removed it.

“I should go to bed,” she whispered and headed towards her tent.

Xia felt something in the pit of her stomach as she tried to fall asleep. It was a dark feeling. Something she had never experienced before. She couldn’t pinpoint what it was either. All she knew was that she felt…sad. For no good reason. Well, she had plenty, but nothing major. Why was she sad? Why was she crying? And why couldn’t she stop.

She covered her mouth as the sobs came to her. She didn’t feel like herself. She felt like a part of her had been wiped away. Before what Azula and the Fire Lord did to her, she felt so strong. So confident. Now she doubted every move she made. Every feeling she had, she second guessed it. 

Xia doesn’t quite remember when she fell asleep, but it felt like mere minutes when she got up. The sun came into her tent. She sat up and wiped her eyes. They felt swollen and her mouth was dry. She needed some water to drink.

She left her tent and stretched. Mostly everyone was already up as well. Aang was feeding Appa and Katara and Zuko were talking to him. She approached them and heard Katara speak.

“We’re going to find the man who took my mother from me,” Katara’s tone was different.

Xia stood next to Aang and she gave Zuko a look. He gave her a short nod and that was all she needed to know that he knew how to find that man. A chill went down Xia’s spine.

“Sokka told me the story of what happened,” Zuko spoke and Sokka came from behind a boulder. “I know who did it and I know how to find him.”

“Um, and what exactly do you think this will accomplish?” Aang asked.

Katara scoffed and shook her head. “I knew you wouldn’t understand, but Xia, you must, right? Wouldn’t you want to make Azula and Fire Lord Ozai pay for what they did to you?”

All attention went to her. “This isn’t about me, Katara. You have unresolved issues. I get that, but you’re not going into this with a clear head or plan.”

Katara stopped walking.

“I do understand,” Aang chimed in. “You’re feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sand-benders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?”

“She needs this, Aang,” Zuko intervened. “This is about getting closure and justice.”

Xia clenched her hands tightly and glared at Zuko but then turned to her friend. “Closure? Don’t you think I see that look in your eyes, Katara? You want more than closure. You want revenge and you might as well dig your own grave as well.”

Aang agreed with her.

“Fine maybe it is. Maybe it’s what I need! Maybe that’s what he deserves,” Katara’s spoke darkly.

“Are you listening to yourself?” Xia approached the water bender. Her eyes filled with worry because Katara was about to cross a line she wouldn’t be able to get back from. “Do you truly believe this is what you need?”

“This man. He’s a monster.”

“Katara, she was my mother too,” Sokka added. “But I think Xia might be right.”

“Then you didn’t love her the way I did,” Katara shot back angrily.

“Katara,” Sokka’s eyes widened in disbelief.

“You don’t mean that,” Xia shook her head. “You’re hurting the people who are right here and now.”

“The monks used to say revenge is like a two headed rat-viper while you watch your enemy go down, you’re being poisoned yourself,” Aang said.

“That’s cute,” Zuko told Aang, “but this isn’t an Air Temple Pre-School it’s the real world.”

“Now that I know he’s out there. Now that I know I can find him I feel like I have no choice.”

“There is always a choice,” Xia tried to reach out to Katara, but she flinched back.

“Yes, forgiveness,” Aang added.

“That’s the same as doing nothing,” Zuko retorted.

Xia turned around to face him anger in her eyes. Something broke inside of her. Something she had been holding for a while now. “So, my forgiveness means nothing to you?! So, I should just go kill everyone who has done me wrong?! That would include you! It’s easy to do nothing but trust me when I say that it’s much harder to forgive.”

“It’s not just hard. It’s impossible,” Katara walked away.

Aang turned to Xia. “Are you okay? You’ve never said anything so…dark before.”

“I’m fine,” Xia stormed off in the other direction away from everyone. Even though the breeze of the sea should be calming, it felt suffocating. She ran until she was at a cliff. She stood at the end of it and tried to breathe, but she buckled to her knees unable to do it.

What was happening to her?

Why couldn’t she breathe?

So, she screamed. She screamed because it felt like the only thing she could do. She screamed until her throat felt raw. Until it felt like she had nothing left in her body.

Why was she so mad and sad at the same time? Because she sort of understood Katara? Because maybe if she had the chance, she would end Azula’s life. For what she did. She wanted to wrap her hands around Azula’s throat and squeeze. Squeeze until her eyes rolled over.

What were these dark thoughts doing in her head? She never thought of doing that to anyone. Ever. It wasn’t what she was taught. She was taught to love all living things. And like she said before to forgive. But being brainwashed? Have her feelings for Zuko be exploited to such an extent? She couldn’t forgive that.

Another dark thought entered her mind. What if she just took a step? Right over the cliff. All of the pain would be gone. All of the suffering would end.

Xia gasped in horror as she crawled backwards away from the cliff. She was not okay. She was far from it. But she also knew she couldn’t deal with this right now. Not when the comet was so close. Not when there was still so much to do.

As always, she needed to push aside her feelings. Her fears and worries. Because all that mattered was Aang.

Her hands gripped the grass until the dirt went under her nails.

“Xia,” a soft voice spoke behind her. She turned and saw her little brother. His eyes were wide in fear. “Were you…about…to…?” he approached her carefully.

She stood up and wiped her hands on her clothes. “How long were you there for?”

“I heard you scream and came over,” he continued to walk towards her like one would an injured animal. “You’re not okay. Why haven’t you said anything?”

“Because my feelings have never mattered, Aang!” she bursts out. She took a step away from him as she sucked in a breath. “All of my life I’ve had to push down my feelings and just worry about you. Care about you and do anything for you!”

Aang’s eyes fill with hurt. “You do resent me for running away with me.”

They’ve had this conversation before. She never felt like she did, but maybe now she did. At least a little bit. Her silence said it all.

“No, Aang, I don’t. I’m resent myself. For not being a better sibling that night. I should have put my foot down.”

“You’ve always looked after me,” he cried. “I never even thought about what you’ve sacrificed for me. I’m sorry.”

“Aang, you’re just a kid. You have a big burden on you. I don’t want to put more on you.”

“You’re just a kid too! You might be older, but you’re still young too. I never wanted you to get hurt because of me but it always happens! You’re always there to save me and when you needed me…I left you behind.”

Xia stood quiet. She processed his words. Some of them were true. She did feel abandoned by him. But she also knew it was ridiculous to expect him to have saved her. She went to her brother and hugged him.

“I might not be okay, but I don’t regret saving you. Being by your side. I know you’d do the same for me and you have. You’ve saved me many times before. Aang, there’s something wrong with me and I don’t know what it is. I’m sad and angry and…I also want revenge.”

“Against Azula?”

“Her and the Dai Li who brainwashed me,” she admitted. “I want them to feel my pain. I want them suffer as I did.”

“I get it. I do. I’ve been there. I know you need to confront Azula and the Dai Li. But I also know your heart and even though you wish to hurt them, I know you never will. Not like that.”

Xia was comforted to know that her little brother believed the good inside of her. She cried and he held her as she did. She couldn’t remember the last time someone held her as she released her feelings.

“Please don’t ever feel like you have to be the strongest. I want to be here for you as you’ve been there for me.”

Hearing Aang said that. Calmed her down. At least a little bit. It helped to know he understood. They held each other for a long time.

“Don’t ever hide these feelings, Xia,” he told her. “It’s not healthy to keep it inside. I promise I’ll listen and I won’t judge you.”

“Thank you, Aang. I’ll try,” she wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to. She pulled away from him and smiled sadly. “I’m going to stay out here for a while longer. I honestly can’t be around people right now.”

He nodded and hugged her one more time before leaving.

She sighed and felt worn out. She decided to meditate. She moved away from the cliff. She ran her hand down her face. She couldn’t believe how far her dark thoughts went. It helped talking about it. Maybe that’s what she needed. She needed to stop holding it in.

It got dark and she hardly noticed. But she noticed Appa flying away. Two figures on top of him. She didn’t need to guess to know what happened.

**

With Katara and Zuko gone Xia used that time to center herself. The thoughts still plagued her mind, but not about jumping over the cliff anymore. She talked to Aang more about what she went through. How she has felt for a long time. Like her life has never been her own. That it always belonged to him.

“I never knew you felt like that,” Aang hugged his knees to his chest.

“I didn’t know either until it burst out,” she stared at the fire. “I thought the brainwashing was something else I could sweep under the rug and deal with later. But it seems it has brought out a side to me I didn’t know I had. Feelings I didn’t know I had.”

“Do you hate Zuko?” he asked. “I know you two care for each other.”

Xia shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s all muddled. It seems he only cares about you guys right now. He and I haven’t really talked. Something always comes up. Your training. Sokka. And now Katara.”

“You should talk to him. He and I talked when we went to see the Sun Warriors and he cares a lot about you.”

She smiled sadly. “I know that. I just…lately I don’t feel it. But who cares? We have bigger things to worry about.”

“There’s always time for love, Xia. You’ve taught me that,” Aang said from across from her. “Don’t give up on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who has left kudos so far! I truly appreciate them.


	5. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: talks of depression

Ember Island was something out of a dream. The water was so clear, and the sand looked white. Zuko’s home was run down, but it was still a solid place. Everyone else seemed to have Fire Nation clothes to fit in. Katara went to the village to get her some clothes. Xia didn’t want to wear the clothes she had from when she was brainwashed.

Similar to the air temple everyone chose a room to stay in. The house had enough rooms for everyone to get one. Normally Xia would like to be close to Aang or Zuko, but she chose the one furthest from them.

Katara approached Aang one night.

“Did something happen with your sister?”

Aang turned away. “Yeah. She hasn’t been well. But she’s doing better…I think.”

“She usually tries to stay near you.”

“She needs some space. I get it. She’s been through a lot.”

“Are she and Zuko…over?” Katara wondered. “It would be kind of sad. They’ve come so far. Maybe they need to talk things out. It’s probably her turn for the life changing adventure with Zuko.”

“Didn’t she already have one when she was a prisoner?” Toph joined in on their conversation.

Katara turned to the Earth bender. “Why did you have to say it like that?”

“What? It’s the truth. You have yourself brainwashed and see how you feel about it,” the blind bandit shrugged. “You guys just expect her to get over it, but maybe she needs more help than you think.”

Xia continued with training on her own. She knew she still wasn’t being herself. She didn’t really eat with the group anymore. Momo noticed and wouldn’t leave her side. He kept her company as she ate her food in her room. There were soft knocks on her door. She got up and opened it. Zuko stood there with a sheepish expression.

“I—uh—you haven’t been eating with the gang. Just wanted to check on you.”

Xia tried to find some sort of emotion inside of her but couldn’t seem to dig up anything. She wasn’t mad. Or sad. She just didn’t feel.

“I’m…” she wanted to lie but decided not to. “I’m not okay. But I’ll get through it. Thanks,” she went to close the door on his face, but his hand stopped it.

“Is this because I went to help Katara?”

“I don’t have the strength to argue, Zuko, okay?”

“You’re not yourself. I get that. What can I do to help?”

Xia chuckled dryly. “There really isn’t much you can do. I just need space. Okay?”

“We’re going to see a play. About us. Did you want to come?”

“No, I’m fine. You guys go ahead.”

She closed the door this time and he let it close.

Zuko didn’t know what to do. He wanted to say so much, but nothing seemed right. Her eyes were similar to when she was brainwashed. There was hardly any emotion in them. Her spark gone. What had happened? When he got back with Katara, he planned to clear things up, but she clearly didn’t want to talk to anyone.

He joined the others to go to the play. He would give her space, but he had a feeling he was losing her. He needed to win her back. He needed to help her.

Xia waited until everyone left then she headed to the beach. She liked the sound of the waves. It was dusk and it was a beautiful one. Yet, she felt cold. She rubbed her arms and tried to figure out how she could get back to her old self.

She didn’t cry. She was over crying. She wasn’t used to this kind of depression. Or any kind. She watched the waves until her eyes couldn’t stay open.

_“Xia,” a familiar voice called out to her, “child, wake up.”_

_She fluttered her eyes open. She was back in her old room from the southern air temple. She laid on her bed and she sat up and saw Monk Gyatso at the end of it. Her heart leapt at the sight of him. She didn’t waste any time and wrapped her arms around his waist. The older man laughed and hugged her back._

_“My child, you are going through a lot, are you not?”_

_“I don’t know how to feel again,” she whimpered. “I felt a lot of things before and now I can’t seem to feel anything. I had bad thoughts. Really bad ones.”_

_“There is no shame in having them. You have the strength not to act on them,” he caressed the top of her head. “You have been everything to the Avatar and you’ve hardly had time for yourself.”_

_“I’m okay with it. Aang is safe. I thought I lost him. I did lose him.”_

_“You are still holding that against yourself? You have to forgive yourself. It worked out in the end.”_

_“How do I get back to my old self?” she whimpered. “I want to be like that girl again.”_

_“That is not possible. When there is suffering, there is growth. You have gone through immense suffering and therefore you are not the same. And that is okay. You just have to get know this new Xia. The one who has learned her lesson. Take it day by day. You are not alone. You have a family.”_

_Xia nodded her head. She removed herself from Gyatso. She looked up to see his face. His warm smile brought peace to her soul._

_“Don’t push them away. You need them just as much as they need you,” he cupped her cheek._

_“Thank you,” she whispered. Gyatso leaned down and kissed her forehead._

“Xia?”

Her eyes opened as she looked up to see Zuko. His golden eyes filled with worry. Her eyes went around and she saw she was still at the beach. The tide had gone up and her clothes were wet. Her head was on his lap, and she sat up slowly.

“Please talk to me,” Zuko insisted. “Why did I find you asleep in the water?”

“I fell asleep. I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m fine,” she rubbed her eyes. She remembered her dream and turned to Zuko. “I’ll…I’m…still traumatized, okay?” Her eyes turned down. “I had a breakdown. I was at the cliff and I wanted to…step off of it.”

Zuko gasped. “Is it because of me? Because of what I said?”

She shook her head. “It’s been a lot of things. I talked to Aang about it. I thought I would feel better, but after feeling all of those emotions it felt like I had nothing left inside of me. I didn’t want to worry anyone so I just stayed away. I didn’t want to be a distraction for Aang and his fire bending.”

“Don’t give into despair,” Zuko said the words like he was remembering them. “Hope is something we give ourselves and that is the meaning of inner strength.”

Xia blinked in surprise. “That is…so wise.”

“My Uncle Iroh told me something similar back when…” his shoulders slouched. “I almost gave up on myself as well. But his words helped me. I hope they help you.”

She smiled a bit. “Your Uncle is very wise.”

Zuko closed his eyes and smiled sadly. “He is. I just wish I could have…that I didn’t say those things to him. I said a lot of bad things. And I betrayed him as well.”

“Your Uncle is always going to be on your side, Zuko. We will find him. If you want, we can try to find him.”

Zuko opened his eyes and connected them with hers. “Why are you so good? I came here to help you and you want to help me.”

She shook her head. “I’ve come to realize that it’s okay not to be good all of the time. Sometimes bad thoughts come and as long as I don’t act on them, I’m not a bad person.”

He laughed lightly. “Sounds familiar to me. Xia…I still…”

She put her fingers to his lips. “I know. Me too, but there is too much going on to worry about that.” But she leaned in and removed her fingers to replace them with her lips. He was shocked for a moment, but then he returned it. Slowly they showed each other just how deeply they loved each other. Her hands cradled his face and his hands went to her waist.

After a couple of minutes, they pulled back. He pressed his forehead against hers.

“When this is over. I will…I’d like to take you on a real date,” he murmured.

“And I’ll accept.”

“We should get you out of those wet clothes,” he helped her stand up.

“First you have to take me out on a date,” she winked.

He chuckled. “Yes. I’m here for you, Xia. Whatever you need.”

“I’d like to train with you. I need a sparring partner who can keep up with me.”

“Whatever you need.”

**

Zuko and Xia spent a few days together sparring. He gave her some good tips. They had fought before. Back when he wasn’t a good guy. They were almost neck to neck in combat. But she always had a few tricks up her sleeve that allowed her to gain the upper hand. This time he seemed to know her every move. Like he was inside of her head. She had a harder time landing blows. He beat her a few times and she beat him a couple more.

“How are you blocking me now? You never used to be able to,” she grinned as they relaxed after another round.

“Because I’ve been watching you for a long time,” he blushed. “I’ve memorized all the moves you make.”

“That’s sweet,” she chuckled. “Some would say creepy, but I find it adorable.”

He was smiling but then he dropped it. “Hey, have you talked to your brother about what he plans to do with my father?”

Xia sighed deeply and nodded her head. “He and I had a conversation about it. Not deeply. He and I were raised to value all life.”

“Even one as evil as my father?”

“Your father wasn’t always evil, Zuko. Unfortunately, he chose a path that led to it. He had chances to turn it around as well, but even your father doesn’t deserve death.”

“After what he did to you?”

Xia looked up at the sky. “That day at the beach…I had a dream about the monk who raised me. It reminded me that I’m stronger than I think. I’m still not over what happened, but I can’t let revenge take over. This war is bigger than me. Now Azula…I just want to beat her ass.”

“I wouldn’t blame you for wanting my sister dead.”

“I don’t want her dead. Not anymore.”

“You’re a much better person than me,” he reached for her hand and laced their fingers together. “From the moment we met, I knew you’d be in my life forever.” He squeezed her hand and she squeezed it back. “When did you know? I feel like you were always waiting for me to do the right thing.”

Xia smiled at him and at the memory of it. “The way you treated your crew members. You were strict, but fair. I’ve always known when people can change. I know if there’s a chance for them to turn it around.”

He released her hand when they heard people coming back. Everyone was back from the market. Katara was carrying some watermelons in her arms and Sokka as well. They all stopped when they saw the couple move away from each other.

“Uh…Aang…” Zuko turned to the Avatar. “We should practice.”

“I’m gonna go shower and clean up,” Xia waved to everyone and headed back inside. She placed her hands on her face to stop them from burning up. She went to take a shower and she changed into another change of Fire Nation clothes.

She decided to meditate to help clear her mind. She sat in the middle of her room with her legs crossed. She concentrated on her breathing. Soon all thoughts left her head. All that was left was herself and being in the moment.

The peace was short lived when the house shook. Then there were bomb sounds. Two familiar voices were out in the hallway. Xia went to open her door, but when she touched the doorknob it was extremely hot. She cursed and looked down at her hand. It was red from the burn. She used one of her spare clothing to open the door.

She was nearly blown away by Aang’s airbending.

He stood in the hallway breathing heavily.

“What the hell is going on?” she asked as she stepped out. She looked to her left and saw that there was a gaping hole like someone had been blown away.

“Zuko just started attacking me,” he pointed. He ran towards it and she followed behind him. She stopped at the hole and saw Zuko get up. Aang jumped down and Xia followed. The rest of the gang were there already.

“Zuko, what are you thinking?” she asked with her hands on her hips.

“You could have hurt Aang,” Katara added.

“Why are you guys acting like this is okay?” he growled. “Beach parties? It’s like you don’t care the comet isn’t coming in three days!”

“About that,” Aang shuffled his feet nervously.

Xia frowned. “What are you hiding?” she turned to her little brother. “You only shuffle your feet when you don’t want to admit something.”

“We were thinking of waiting until after the comet to fight the Fire Lord,” Aang said sheepishly.

“When did ‘we’ decide this?” Xia clenched her hands and turned to the others who looked away not wanting to meet her eyes. “Oh, because I’ve been down you guys decided to make decisions without me.”

“I just need more time,” Aang argued. “I haven’t mastered fire bending.”

“And his Earth bending could use some work as well,” Toph said.

“The whole point of fighting the fire lord before the comet was to stop the fire nation from winning the war, but they’ve pretty much won since they took Ba Sing Se,” Katara was right. Xia knew that, but she didn’t like she wasn’t included in this big decision. How long had they agreed to it? And why didn’t they just say something? “Things can’t get any worse.”

“You’re wrong,” Zuko turned away. Then he explained about what the Fire Lord planned. How he planned to use the comet to finally end the war. In favor of the Fire Nation. Set the world ablaze. “I wanted to speak out against his horrifying plan, but I’m ashamed to admit I didn’t. My whole life I struggled to gain my father’s love and acceptance. But once I had it, I realized I lost myself getting there and the people I loved the most.” His eyes turned to Xia and she found truth in his words.

She took in his words. The plan. This changed everything. Clearly what Aang and the others were hoping wasn’t something they would be able to do. The Avatar was not going to just stand aside and let it all happen.

“This is bad. This is really, really bad,” Aang turned away from the gang and fell to the floor. His hands in his head.

Xia could sense he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. As always, she went to his side.

“You’re not in this alone,” she reminded him. “You have your family with you.”

“Yeah, if we all fight the fire lord together, we got a shot at taking him down,” Toph threw her fist in the air.

“All right!” Sokka cheered. “Team Avatar is back! Air! Water! Earth! Fire! Fists!” He pointed to Xia. “Fan and sword!”

“Fighting the fire lord is gonna be the hardest thing we’ve ever done together, but I wouldn’t want to do it any other way,” he grinned.

Everyone laughed and they joined in together on the usual group hug they had when they were about to do something tough. Xia turned to the one person out.

“You’re in this now too,” She extended her arm out to him. “You’re part of the team. And that means group hugs as well.” He hid his smile, but he joined them. He put his arm around Xia’s waist and then Suki’s.

Appa quickly joined them and knocked them all down. Xia missed these moments. It truly reminded her that she had the help of everyone. Her smile was genuine and one she felt she hadn’t used in ages. It reminded her of herself before Ba Sing Se.

Zuko told Aang he had one more thing to teach him. How to redirect lighting. Xia and Katara sat on the steps together and watched them. Xia paid close attention because she had a feeling, she should learn something like that.

“So…have you ever redirected lighting before?” Aang asked.

“Once…against my father,” Zuko eyed Xia at the corner of his eye.

Xia thought back to when she thought her life on Earth was going to end. The lighting that should have ended her life Zuko stopped. She was ashamed to admit she had forgotten about that. He risked his life for her. Literally took a bolt of lightning to save her.

“What did it feel like?” Aang asked with a smile.

“Exhilarating, but terrifying. You feel so powerful holding that much energy in your body, but you know if you make the wrong move, it’s over.”

Aang laughed nervously. “Well not ‘over, over’ I mean there’s always Katara and a little spirit water action, am I right?” they turned to Katara.

Katara frowned. “Actually, I used it all up after Azula shot you.”

“Oh,” Aang dropped his shoulders.

“You’ll have to take the Fire Lord’s life before he takes yours.” Zuko walked away.

“Yeah…I’ll just do that,” Aang murmured with his head turned away. Xia went to her brother and placed her hand on his shoulder.

“We’ll find a way,” she told him. Aang’s eyes swirled with doubt. Her heart ached. “I’ll be there, and I’ll deliver the final blow. I don’t want blood on your hands.”

“It’s my job though,” he sighed. “I don’t need you sacrificing anymore. Not for me.”

“I’d kill a hundred men before I’d let you take a life, Aang. It’s too much to ask of you.”

“I’m gonna go for a walk,” Aang turned away and walked towards the beach.

Xia knew he needed space, so instead she went to find Zuko. She figured he went to his room. She knocked on it three times. It opened quickly. She didn’t expect him to be shirtless. Her eyes went down his torso and her face became a furnace. She quickly averted her eyes up.

“Uh…” her mouth had become suddenly very dry. “May I come in?”

He stepped aside to let her in. She took a few steps inside and she shifted her weight back and forth on her feet.

“I guess…I wanted to say thank you. I had forgotten you took a lightning bolt for me,” she half smiled. “I was so sure my time had come.”

Zuko came very close to her. Took her hands and squeezed them. “I’d taken a thousand of them to save you.”

Xia’s heart felt like it was beating a hundred times more than normal. She closed the distance between them and kissed him. At first Zuko didn’t move. But his lips moved with hers after a moment. His hands remained on her waist. Xia wrapped her arms around his neck. She was the one who swept her tongue across his bottom lip. He opened up to her and he let her explore.

He tasted like coconut juice. He pulled on her waist to close any little space between them. One of his hands went up her spine.

She loved to feel his bare skin. 

The kiss that had been passionate was turning animalistic. His other hand went underneath her top to touch her skin. She moaned against his mouth. His hands were so warm. Xia felt an ache between her legs. Being seventeen—well technically 117---she didn’t have any experience. She wondered if Zuko did.

She broke the kiss mainly to breathe but secondly to calm herself.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you like that for a long time,” he pecked her lips. A goofy smile on his lips. “I want more, but we will take it slowly.”

She nodded her head in agreement but had that same goofy smile as him. “You still owe me a date, Zuko.”


	6. Beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: smut scene in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am following the show, but I change some things. Very little things.
> 
> I might do a sequel to this. But we'll see.

Sokka’s training seemed simple enough.

They would all attack the Fire Lord—the melon Lord at the same time. Toph took place of the Fire Lord and used her bending to make rock soldiers. She also used it to send fiery boulders at them.

Xia defeated them easily enough. Everyone made a way for Aang to deliver the final blow. As he went for the kill, Xia sensed it. He stopped with his staff over his head. His shoulder slouched.

“What are you waiting for?” Zuko yelled. “Take him out.”

“I can’t,” Aang shook his head.

Xia went to her brother with Sokka behind her. She placed her hand on Aang’s shoulder and he turned his grey eyes at her. What the monks taught him are embedded in his heart.

“What’s wrong with you?” Sokka frowned and pointed his finger at Aang.

Xia growled at Sokka. “You’re asking a child to commit murder,” she slapped Sokka’s hand away. 

Sokka turned his attention to her. “If this was the real deal, he would be shot full of lightning right now!”

“I’m sorry,” Aang spoke, “but it just doesn’t feel right. I didn’t feel like myself,” he turned to Xia.

Sokka reached behind him for his sword and sliced the melon. “There that’s how it’s done.”

She watched her brother’s terrified expression. She could see that in his head he was imagining it was the real Fire Lord.

“You’ve got to stop babying Aang,” Sokka turned to Xia. “He is the Avatar and he has to do this.”

“Tell me, when did you first kill your first human being? At ten? No, right? You’re asking Aang to go against his nature.”

“You’ve done it! And you’re a monk.”

“I’m no monk! Why do you think I don’t have arrows!” She pointed to her forehead. “My life became about defending Aang and training to do whatever it took to keep him safe. That is why I never learned to air bend. I needed to master thirty-five air bending techniques and invent one in order to earn the arrows. But I was sent away to learn all kinds of things to help him.”

Katara gasped. “You’ve never told us that.”

Aang’s guilt was in his eyes and Xia regretted bursting that out.

“I hate how much you’ve sacrificed for me, Xia,” he turned away from her and walked away. “I’m sorry I’m such a burden.”

She thought to follow him, but she knew he needed space. She turned to Sokka with a death glare. He shivered from head to toe but stood his ground.

“You know I’m right, Xia. It has to be him who takes down the Fire Lord. I know you want to be the one, but it has to be him.”

“He shouldn’t have to sacrifice his soul for the world,” she growled. “That’s my job.”

**

Xia helped Katara make dinner. She made Aang’s favorite vegetarian food. She served it on a plate and went over to him. Everyone was gathered at the courtyard. He was sitting away from the group facing the wall. She placed the plate in front of him. He turned to her with a sad smile.

She kissed his temple. “You’ve never been a burden,” she whispered. She knew her words wouldn’t mean much, but she hoped it would help. She got her own plate of food and sat next to Zuko.

She ate her food and he looked at her with sad eyes.

“Why the face?” she asked.

“I never asked about why you didn’t have the tattoos or why you didn’t air bend. Have…you ever tried?”

She scoffed. “Of course, I have, but the things I’ve done…” she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve learned to defend myself. Bending or not. There have been instances where I’ve used it, but I can never seem to…access it at will. The Air Nomads were known to have every person born be a bender, but the monks decided it wasn’t meant for me.”

“For Aang,” he whispered. “You and Aang have such a special bond. Like Sokka and Katara. Even though they fight, and you fight with Aang, you’d do anything for each other.” He looked down at his food and she sensed he was thinking about his own sister.

“Was there ever a time you and Azula got along?” she wondered.

“Sure, it was for a short time. We’re only a few years apart, but once Father saw her talent in bending, he took her under his wing and a rift was created between us. He pinned us against each other.”

Xia frowned. “Your father tore you and your sister apart and the monks basically sewed me to Aang’s hip from his birth,” she sighed. “How incredible we managed to find each other.”

“I have a surprise for everyone!” Katara came from the kitchen with a scroll in her hand.

“I knew it! You did have a secret thing with Haru,” Toph mocked.

Xia chuckled and high fived Toph.

“Uh, no. I was looking for pots in the attic, and I found this,” she unrolled the scroll and revealed a baby. On the scroll were paintings of a baby. “Look at baby Zuko, isn’t he cute?”

Everyone laughed and sighed at the sight. Xia raised an eyebrow and looked to Zuko for confirmation.

He had his irritated expression.

“Oh, lighten up, we’re just teasing,” Katara muttered.

“That’s not me,” Zuko returned. “That’s my father.”

“But he looks so sweet and innocent,” Suki pointed.

“Well that sweet little kid grew up to be a monster,” Zuko retorted. “And the worst father in the history of fathers.”

“But he’s still a human being,” Aang joined in.

“You’re going to defend him?” Zuko scoffed.

“No, I agree with you. Fire Lord Ozai is a horrible person,” Aang stood up and Xia saw his food had been untouched. “I have every reason to kill him. He is responsible for the deaths of thousands of people. He brainwashed my sister. But I still don’t believe he deserves to die. So, there has to be another way.”

“Like what?” Zuko deflected.

“I don’t know,” Aang groaned. “Maybe we can make some big pots of glue and then I could use gluebending to stick his arms and legs together so he can’t bend anymore.”

Still a kid, Xia thought to herself. Only a kid would think of something like that. But his words resonated with her. Not bend anymore. Would that be possible? When they were in the library that was underground, she had found a book the explored that possibility. But no Avatar had ever done it. It was a power they didn’t possess, but she had read of the legend. The Lion Turtle island that came to those in need.

Aang’s idea was shot down and mocked. Xia had been so lost in her thoughts she jumped when her brother blew up on his friends.

“Aang! Don’t walk away from this!” Katara shouted at him.

Xia stood up and caught her shoulder as she tried to go after him. “No, he needs to do this himself.”

“Xia, I know you’re protecting him, but we have no time,” Katara sighed.

“I have faith in Aang, don’t you?” Xia intuited something. Aang would find a way. He would get the help he needs. She understood that.

**

Xia helped with the cleanup and then it was time to go to bed. Having that sixth sense always helped her. She just knew that Aang would find the solution. On her way to her room, she passed Zuko’s. She licked her lips and waited outside of his door. They both agreed to pause what they had until after the confrontation with his father.

But she just wanted to be near him. But maybe he needed space. What if she was being too clingy? Too needy?

She took a step back, but then his door opened. He stood at the door frame. He saw her and jumped in surprise. His cheeks turned red.

“I—uh—was gonna go look for you,” he sheepishly admitted.

Xia couldn’t stop the butterflies in her stomach. “Really? I’m not being too…clingy?”

“What? No. I was worried I was,” he scratched the back of his head. “Am I?”

She shook her head. “No. I guess we just enjoy each other’s company.”

“Very much,” he nodded.

Xia looked down the hallway and then back to Zuko. She stepped closer to him. “I know we said we would wait until…after…but…I want to be with you.”

If his face got any redder, she might confuse him for a tomato.

“Is that something you want?” he whispered back.

She nodded her head slowly. “Very much.” She used his words.

He held out his hand to her. “Me too.”

She took his hand and he pulled her inside of his room. He closed the door behind him. His room didn’t have any light except the one coming from the moon from his window.

She could hear the waves from outside, but it was her thundering heart that overtook everything else. That was until Zuko stood in front of her again. His golden eyes were so soft and filled with the same emotion as hers.

“H-have you ev-ever done anything?” she stuttered her words out.

He shook his head. “No. And you? With Jet or something?”

She frowned. “Jet? He liked Katara.”

He shook his head. “No, I met him. He spoke of you very fondly. He lost his chance.”

“He did try to hurt innocent people.”

“So did I.”

She shook her head. “This was different. So, you and Mai never did anything?”

“No. She was a childhood girlfriend. You’re my…everything,” he seemed to change his mind about something at the last minute. He brought his hand to her cheek and she leaned into the warmth of his flesh. She always liked how warm they were all of the time. “I don’t deserve you, Xia. You’ve forgiven me for a lot.”

“Can’t help who you love,” Xia sighed the words but realized what she said and pursed her lips. Zuko’s eyes shined with shock. She straightened her back. “I do. I love you. You got a problem with that?”

Zuko broke into a smile and kissed her instead of answering. It was the only answer she needed. The kiss continued as he pushed her towards his bed. On the way, Xia started to disrobe him. With his chest exposed she used her hands to explore him.

Even though her eyes were closed, she knew what he looked like, but she broke the kiss to take a look. She licked her lips. The back of her knees touched the bed. She pulled on her top and removed it. Leaving her in her bra.

His eyes washed over her body with admiration. Setting her flesh on fire wherever he looked.

“Want to know when I fell in love?” she asked.

“When?”

“In Ba Sing Se. Before the cave,” she replied. “Katara and I walked into your uncle’s tea shop and you were serving tea. The expression on your face was so serene and relaxed. I knew that person was in you the entire time but he was more beautiful than I imagined,” she cupped his cheek and he leaned into her hand like she had done.

“It wasn’t easy,” he murmured. “I had hated for so long I had forgotten how to be me. I went through this change and I saw you in it. The words you used to say to me every time we sparred,” he chuckled. “You have occupied my mind every day since we’ve met.”

Their lips fused together again, and his declaration made her heart leap in joy. Because she felt the same way. She made sure to tell him that in her kiss. His hands remained on her waist, but she caught his right hand and moved it to her breast. Zuko pulled back from the kiss but remained close to her lips.

“You are sure?” his voice held barely any control.

“Yes. Very much,” she replied.

They laid on the bed together. The rest of their clothing was removed. Zuko explored her body with his hands and mouth. He found her weak spot on her neck the one that made her toes curl. It also made her giggle and Zuko could die happy knowing that sound.

Sex education wasn’t something she was taught, but she knew enough. She spread her legs to let him in between them. But Zuko seemed to have something else in mind. He crawled down her body until his face was between her legs.

“Wh-what are you—Oh!” the swipe of his tongue made her shut her mouth. “Oh My!” she clapped her hand over her mouth as he continued. If he had never done anything, how did he know that? But she didn’t really care as he moved his tongue to the top of her mound. Right where it opened, there was a bud. She shuddered in moans.

“Sokka was right,” he said against her.

“Yo-you got advice from Sokka?” her eyes rolled behind her head.

“He and Suki have experience. I figured it was a good idea to ask,” he lifted his head from between her legs. “Is it not good?”

Xia turned her head to him and grinned. “More than okay. Remind me to thank Sokka, please…continue?”

Zuko smiled proudly and went back in. She wasn’t sure what was happening, but she knew something wonderful was coming. Her.

Her back arched as the electric feeling went through her body. She wondered if that’s how it felt to be electrocuted. Her mind and body went numb. Her hands somehow ended up in Zuko’s hair. She tugged on it as her thighs shook. When she was done, she felt like a cooked noddle. She released Zuko’s hair and felt him kiss his way up. He stopped at her chest and paid attention to her nipples.

Her body was coming back from the dead. This was sex? No wonder people liked it. Was it always this good? Or was just it because it was Zuko?

He moved above her again. “You make the best sounds.”

She chuckled. “You made me make those sounds. Do you want me—”

“No. I can’t wait to be inside of you,” he kissed her neck. Feathered it with kisses. He positioned himself. She had not dared to look down at him. But he looked down and she followed his gaze. She took in a deep breath and felt the tip at her entrance.

He pushed and there was a bit of resistance. But it wasn’t for long. He moved inside of her and then it was his turn to make sounds. He cursed and called out her name. He thanked her. He said he loved her. He didn’t move for a few minutes. Her hands went to his back. His caressed his back muscles and then he started to move. He took hold of the back of her knee to keep her leg against his side.

Then they both acted on instinct. She bucked her hips to meet his thrusts. She scratched his back. It was a bit painful, but not as much as she thought.

Soon their bodies began to sweat.

Zuko kissed her. “I’m…I’m…close.”

“It’s okay,” she nodded. “I’m okay.”

His pace quickened and then he took in a deep breath and stopped moving. He pulled out and spilled across her stomach. She understood what he did. The last thing they needed was an unwanted pregnancy. Zuko grunted as he finished and ended with saying her name softly. Her first time and it wasn’t so bad. It was actually better than she expected. He surprised her with Sokka’s advice. She really did owe that buffoon a cake or something.


	7. Regret

Zuko watched as Xia slept. He had woken up about five minutes ago. His arm held her head. Her body was on her side turned towards him. Her breathing was even, and he had dreamt of watching her as he was at the moment. He wondered if he deserved to be loved by someone like her. She was one of the strongest people he had ever met. He thought about how much she put on the line for the people she loved. Not just Aang, but the others as well. She cared for them and protected them.

He had seen her do it. She protected them from him, and she always got away with it.

He was reminded of his first thought when he saw her. At the South Water Tribe. She had lied to him saying she was the Avatar. He had believed her because Aang had been hiding. She had gone with him to protect the tribe. Protect people she didn’t know. Always had good in her heart.

He brought his free hand to caress her cheek lightly with the back of his fingers.

It had been so hard to keep her at arms’ length when she was brainwashed. For so long he thought about what his life was going to be if he continued to let it happen. If he had never realized his real destiny. His Uncle always told him he was meant for something more.

Uncle Iroh. Zuko still felt awful about turning away the person who had always been by his side. Through the good and bad.

The sunlight came up through his window and its rays covered them.

Xia stirred and groaned. She buried her face in his chest.

Zuko might not feel worthy of her love, but he had it and he was happy he did. He planned to make her his wife. One day he would marry her.

Her eyes opened slowly, and he could see it took her a long moment to realize where she was. Still naked in his bed and in his arms. No regret in sight. He was relieved. They had promised to pause what they had, but he couldn’t deny her last night.

“Morning,” her voice was hoarse, and he knew he wanted that to be the first sound he heard every morning for the rest of his life. Her lips curled to a smile. “I had the weirdest dream,” her voice was low and she still sounded asleep. “A whole island…moved…” she yawned and blinked several times.

“A whole island?” he chuckled.

Her eyes became more focused. “What did I say?” she rubbed her eye with the back of her hand.

“You said you dreamt a whole island moved,” he reminded her.

“Oh…I don’t remember,” she pulled away from him and stretched.

His eyes couldn’t help but wonder down her figure. He wanted to do more. He wanted to explore more. But they were leaving today. They had a lot of packing to do. When she finished stretching, she turned back to him.

“Last night,” she started with a blush on her cheeks, “it was good.”

“Really?” he had hoped it was good for her and it had been for him.

She nodded her head in response. “I don’t have anything to compare it to, but…I’m happy.”

“Me too,” he replied and kissed her.

Neither of them cared about morning breath. She dove her tongue into his mouth and claimed him. He liked that she did that. A reminder that he belonged to her as well. All of him.

“I want you, Zuko,” she said against his lips.

“Aren’t you sore?” he asked after he moved back from her lips to check on her. “Was I too rough?”

She giggled. “I’m sore, but we can do other things.” Her eyes danced with mischief. “I never got to return the favor.” In the next second, Zuko was on his back on his bed. She was straddling him. Her hair was free, and he thought she looked beautiful asleep, she was even more on top of him naked. Eyes blown out with lust. His hands went to her hips, but she moved down his body.

He could see where she was going, and he gulped loudly. No one had done that for him. She kissed her way down. He had gotten hard the moment he had seen her on top of him. Her eyes turned to him as her hand went around him. He hissed at the feeling. She stroked him gently and not too tightly.

“Zuko?” there were knocks on his door.

Someone turned the knob and the door began to open.

Xia panicked and threw herself on the bed. Zuko used his bed sheet and covered them.

Toph was the one at the door.

“Uh---wha-what is it?” he stammered.

“Katara said breakfast is ready---wait…is that you Xia?” the blind Earthbender asked. “Why are you in Zuko’s roo—Oh! OH Gross!” She shut the door and stomped away.

“It had to be her,” Xia groaned.

“I mean I guess technically she didn’t see anything. She just knows when you’re in the room.” Zuko tried to ease her suffering. He removed the sheet from them. “I guess we better get back to reality.”

Xia moved up the bed and rested her head on his chest. “I want to stay here forever,” she closed her eyes.

He stroked her back and sighed deeply. “Me too, but we have a whole regime to overthrow.”

She chuckled and lifted her head to meet his gaze. “Thank you.”

He frowned. “For what?”

“Letting me love you,” her face reddened. “It’s corny, but you make me strong, Zuko.”

“It is most definitely the other way around,” he kissed her forehead.

**

Xia thought she would feel different after losing her virginity. But she felt the same. She would forever cherish the memories she and Zuko made last night. She had no idea it would be so pleasurable. After a shower she examined her body. Along her chest and neck there were love bites. Teeth marks on her shoulders. Handprints on her hips.

She covered her body with her clothes. Toph knew, but that didn’t mean everyone else had to know as well. She finished packing and headed to the courtyard to meet everyone. The moment she stepped in the courtyard her eyes found Zuko. She was sure her whole face turned red.

“Let me take your bag,” he reached for her bag and carried it towards Appa.

She watched him climb the bison with clear love in her eyes.

“So, you and Zuko?” Toph’s voice startled Xia so she jumped out of her skin.

The older girl turned to her friend and laughed awkwardly. “Please don’t say a word.”

Toph scoffed. “As if I’d say anything that gross. Your secret is safe with me.”

“Uh…thanks…and I’m sorry if you saw—I mean--!”

“I thought you were different,” Toph shook her head in clear disappointment and walked away.

“I’m sorry, Toph!” Xia called out after the blind girl and then groaned to herself.

She joined the others and looked around to try to find Aang. She frowned when she didn’t see him.

“Where’s Aang?” she asked her friends and the question made everyone stop in their tracks. Her heart dropped when she realized no one else knew. Her feet moved and she ran back into the house and yelled for him. She went to his room and didn’t find him. His room had a balcony, so she went to it and saw his staff.

She knew he wouldn’t leave without it.

“Did you find him?” Zuko asked her but his question was answered.

Xia grabbed his staff. Was it that feeling she had last night? Sometime during her sleep, she felt something. A pull from the spirit world. But she had been so at peace, she ignored it.

“Let’s check the beach,” he suggested.

They all went to the beach and found his footprints. It led to the ocean and it stopped there. Like he had gone into the water.

“What if he was captured?” Katara shivered at the thought.

“Do you think he ran away again?” Toph proposed.

“No, Xia and Appa are still here. He wouldn’t leave without them,” Sokka nodded his head as if he was the expert.

“Let’s split and check out the rest of the island,” Xia clenched her hand around the staff. “Sokka use Appa and go around the island. Katara, Suki got into the village to see if maybe he went there. Toph, you’re with me and Zuko and we’ll check the rest.”

Xia and Zuko walked next to each other. Guilt ate at her. Her job was to keep Aang safe and she had let her guard down. She knew he was distraught, but she figured they would talk about in the morning. That they would figure it out together like they always did.

“Hey, it’s not your fault,” Zuko reached for her hand.

She pulled it back and gripped the staff with both hands. “I—I…It seems every time I’m supposed to be there for him…I’m not.”

She could sense Zuko tense next to her. He looked over his shoulder and leaned in close. “Do you regret being with me then?”

She shook her head. “No, of course not,” she whispered back. Aware they she knew Toph had good hearing, so even if they whispered it was pointless. “It’s just…I didn’t know what to say to him. He doesn’t want to kill your father, but a part of me wants him to. Because of what he did to me. But in the end…it’s still a life. Even though I’m not a monk, I don’t want any more death.”

They walked for another hour and then they headed back to the house. They sat on the steps. Now Zuko was away from her. Xia felt that it was because she didn’t want to hold his hand earlier. She didn’t blame him for Aang going missing. She blamed herself.

Katara and Suki returned and didn’t find anything.

Sokka was the last to come back and he didn’t find Aang neither.

“Has anyone else noticed Momo is missing?” Toph pointed out.

Sokka freaked out saying Appa ate him.

Xia felt a little relief. “He must be with Aang.”

Sokka went into Appa’s mouth.

“Get out of the bison’s mouth, Sokka,” Zuko called out. “We have a real problem here. Aang is nowhere to be found and the comet is only two days away.”

“What should we do, Zuko?” Katara and the others turned to him.

Xia turned to him as well.

“I don’t know,” he stood up.

Everyone continued to look at him.

“Why are you looking at me?” he asked them.

“You are the expert in hunting my brother,” Xia told him.

He turned to her and he bit his lip. “Okay…then let’s move.”

Everyone got on Appa. Zuko took the reins.

“Yip yip!”

**

They arrived at the Earth Kingdom.

Zuko said to trust him and she did. They followed him into a tavern.

Katara was the first to complain. Xia could see why they had come here.

“June,” Zuko pointed to the young woman sitting down.

“Oh yeah! That weird bounty hunter girl with the giant mole,” Sokka said.

“Mole? Her skin is flawless,” Suki said as June started to fight a villager man.

“No, not on her face. She has a giant mole she rides on,” Xia remembered when they fought her.

“It’s the only animal that can track Aang’s scent anywhere in the world,” Zuko said. “It’s the one shot we have in finding him.”

They approached June.

“Where’s your creepy grandpa?” she snickered.

“He’s my uncle…and he’s not here.” Zuko’s shoulders dropped a bit.

Xia reached for his hand to show support. June smirked at the sight of that.

“I see you worked things out with your girlfriend,” she said.

Zuko turned his eyes away. “I—Uhhh---thanks.”

He explained how they needed to find the Avatar. She wasn’t convinced until Xia offered to pay for her tab. June preferred to have something bought for Nyla. The giant mole. Xia agreed and bought a raw steak. They all went back outside. June fed Nyla the meat.

“Who has something with the Avatar’s scent?” she asked.

Xia held out Aang’s staff. “It’s his staff,” she held back tears and hoped this would work. The mole sniffed it and then it started to sniff the air. It walked circles around them a few times. Xia’s heart went to her throat. It finally stopped but it went down and covered its nose and whimpered.

“What does that mean?” Zuko asked.

“It means he’s gone.”

“We know he’s gone. We just need to know where,” Toph added.

“He’s gone, gone. He doesn’t exist.”

“He’s not dead,” Xia defended immediately. “I felt the pull of the spirit world last night. It was feint, but it was there.”

“If he was dead, we could pick his scent up too. So I didn’t mean he was dead. Hmm, this is a real puzzle,” June chuckled. “Oh well, good bye.”

“Wait,” Zuko told June, but turned to them, “there’s one person who can help us fight the Fire Lord.”

“Your uncle,” Xia nodded her head in agreement.

“I have just the thing,” Zuko smiled and she could see it. Hope. In his eyes. He really wanted to see his uncle.

He came back with a sweaty sandal. It was both creepy and sweet. Nyla picked up the scent quickly. They all went back on Appa. This time Xia took the reins. They travelled the entire day. Until it was dusk. They arrived at the wall of Ba Sing Se.

“Your uncle is somewhere over this wall,” June told Zuko. “Nyla is getting twitchy, so he can’t be far. See ya!” she left.

“It’s late,” Zuko told them. “Let’s set up camp and start searching tomorrow.”

The group didn’t bring too much with them. So, they had just some fruit as food. Xia ate her fruit and wondered if she should try to enter the spirit world. But Aang wasn’t there. She didn’t know what to do. She felt the impending doom of a big fight. Destruction was coming.

“Xia,” Zuko sat next to her.

“You’re talking to me now,” she muttered. “You’ve been ignoring me the whole day.”

“You pulled your hand back,” he replied.

Behind them everyone pretended to ignore them, but they were most definitely listening.

She frowned. “I just needed a little space. My brother is missing. I’m sorry that I actually care about my sibling,” she shot, and she knew she didn’t mean it. Well. Maybe a little.

“Aang is going to have to grow up and you babying him isn’t doing him any favors,” he narrowed his eyes. “You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your life for his.”

Xia clenched her hands bit her inner cheek to keep herself from saying something, but it came out. “I will always do what I have to do to protect him. Even if it means losing my soul. I’m going to sleep. Alone.”

“I am only trying to help you!” he shouted after her.

“Help me by leaving me alone!” she shouted back.

She went to the other side of Appa and sat next to his front paw. She took out her frustration on Zuko. She knew that. She just wanted to know if Aang was all right. She rested her head on Appa’s paw. He laid his head next to her. 

She wasn’t sure when it happened, but she fell asleep. The entire day was spent basically worrying. Her head needed some rest. A few hours later though. She heard something. Fire surrounded them and her first thought was to get to Zuko. Even if she was mad, she would always look for him.

“Xia!” he had beat her and found her first.

He had gone to look for her as well. They stared at each other for a long moment. But then a loud laugh interrupted them. She knew that laugh. She looked over to where the wall was split and Boomi was there. He was also with the Water Bending master from the Northern Water tribe. Pakku.

Katara explained it to Toph who had asked why they were surrounded by old men.

Pakku then explained he was Katara’s and Sokka’s new grandfather. Xia smiled as she watched Katara hug him. She remembered that old man giving Katara such a hard time.

“This is Jeong Jeong,” Xia explained to Zuko. “He was Aang’s first Fire Bending teacher.”

Zuko went over to him and bowed. There was one person Xia didn’t recognize. Sokka did and he was apparently Master Piandao. Sokka bowed to him respectfully. Katara explained that he had taught Sokka how to use a sword. It happened while Xia was gone.

Xia went to Boomi and hugged him. A friend from her first life. Suki asked how they all knew each other. Boomi said all old people know each other. But the truth was they were all part of an ancient secret society.

“The Order of the White Lotus,” Xia grinned, and eyes went to her. “Master Gyatso was in it. He thought he hid it from me, but I knew about it. He would sneak out of the temple every three months for a meeting.”

They were told to unite by someone high in the order. Iroh of the Fire Nation.

Xia turned to him. “We found him,” she smiled at him.

They followed them. Boomi explained how he took back his city all by himself on the day of the Black Sun.

“Did you guys do anything interesting?” he asked him.

Xia watched as Zuko and Sokka turned to each other and said they didn’t. It had been a failure to try to take over the Fire Nation.

“You must be worried about Aang,” Boomi told her. She walked just behind him.

“I am.”

“I’m sure he’s fine! He’s a tough kid,” he said seriously, which was rare for him. “Are you okay?”

Xia sighed. “You were always too good at reading people. I’ll be okay.”

They seemed to reach a dead end, but Boomi used Earth Bending to clear their way and revealed a camp. There were a few tents up.

“Where…where is he?” Zuko asked.

Piandao pointed to the bigger tent. “He’s in there, Prince Zuko.”

Xia followed him as he walked towards the tent. She could already see that he was hesitating. He stopped in front of the tent and stopped. He sat down with his legs crossed. She sat across from him.

“You’re not going to go in?” she questioned. “This is what you’ve wanted since you’ve left the Fire Nation. You told me you went to find your uncle, but you didn’t find him.”

“How could I show him my face? He must hate me,” his eyes watered, and his voice cracked.

“Zuko,” she grabbed his face with her hands so he could see her eyes clearly, “your Uncle is not your Father. You Uncle loves you unconditionally. You are sorry for what you did. You’ve shown it to me and the others.”

“I’m more sorry than anyone can understand,” he said sincerely.

“Your Uncle will forgive you,” she encouraged him. “Go…be with him. I’ll be here.” She kissed his forehead and stood up. She offered him her hand. He took it without hesitation. She helped him up and watched him go inside of the tent.


	8. Insecure

Xia didn’t hear anything for a long time except the sound of someone snoring. So, she made her way back to the others. She and Katara were given a tent to sleep together in. The girls were silent as neither of them slept and stared up at the ceiling.

“Do you think Aang is okay?” Katara whispered into the darkness.

Xia turned her body to face Katara and Katara did the same so they would be facing each other.

“I do. I believe he is finding the answer for what has been troubling him,” Xia spoke honestly. “This was something he had to do on his own. Katara…do you love my brother?”

Katara turned back to her back and was happy it was dark so Xia wouldn’t see her red face. “I do,” she admitted. “Are you and Zuko going to be okay?”

The older girl sighed. “I don’t know. Doesn’t matter right now. All that matters is winning this war.”

“I agree. But I do hope you two work it out. When…he and I left to find my mom’s killer, he looked so upset. I asked him. He said he didn’t like he left you behind. He cares deeply for you.”

“He took a shot of lightning for me,” Xia chuckled and turned to her back as well. “I care for him as well.”

Exhaustion overcame them both and they fell asleep. 

Xia was having another weird dream. A forest that was alive. Trees with faces. Butterflies with patterns of a face. A being. A powerful being. A mother. A large wolf with eyes that stared into her soul. She woke up with a cold sweat and like she had been running. The dream was fading as she concentrated on her breathing.

She turned to her left to see Katara was still asleep. She threw her cover aside and got up slowly. She walked out of the tent and saw that the sun was barely rising. She stretched and then turned her attention to the tent where she had left Zuko.

She hoped they worked things out. She knew Iroh was going to forgive him. The times she had talked to him she could see how much love he had for his nephew. Soon everyone else was waking up. She helped make breakfast and she was happy to see Iroh and Zuko walking out of the tent with happy faces.

She approached them and clapped her hands cheerfully. “I am so happy for a joyful reunion. Breakfast is ready,” she gestured to the middle of the camp where she had made food.

“Someone who cooks!” Iroh grinned and rubbed his belly. “Zuko, you are lucky to have her!” Iroh walked past them and winked at her.

Zuko and Xia stood in front of each other. Their argument from yesterday seemed childish. She hated that she threw his relationship with Azula in his face.

“I’m sorry,” the couple said at the same time.

They chuckled and then embraced each other.

“I’m sorry, Xia, for everything,” he squeezed her harder. “You have been a blessing in my life.”

Xia rested her head on his shoulder. “You’ve shown me…I am my own person as well. Not just the Avatar’s bodyguard. But…Xia. A person. Let’s eat and talk about our next move.”

The couple joined the others. They grabbed a bowl and helped themselves to food. They all sat around together by the pot.

“Uncle, you’re the only person besides the Avatar that can possibly defeat the father lord,” Zuko said in the middle of eating.

“You mean Fire Lord?” Toph was to Zuko’s left and Xia giggled on his right because she had also heard ‘father lord’.

“That’s what I just said,” he replied angrily to the earth bender.

“Hmm,” his Uncle nodded pensively.

“We need you to come with us!”

“No, Zuko. It won’t turn out well.”

“You can beat him. We’ll be there to help you,” Zuko gestured to everyone.

Xia gulped but nodded her head.

“Even if I did defeat Ozai and I don’t know that I could it would be the wrong way to end the war. History will see it as just a senseless violence, a brother killing a brother for power. The only way for this war to end peacefully is for the Avatar,” he turned to Xia, “to defeat the Fire Lord.”

“And then…would you come take you rightful place on the throne?”

Xia never thought about that. Who would take the throne after Ozai? It would make sense for Zuko’s Uncle. He had been the next person in line.

“No, someone new must take the throne. Someone who is an idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor. It has to be you, Prince Zuko.”

Oh right…Zuko was a prince. How could she forget such a big thing? He had already been the one who was supposed to lead the fire nation. And who was she? A nomad? Not even a bender. At least not one with skills. She stared at her bowl as she let her mind wonder. If she stayed with Zuko…what would that make her? A queen? Queen of the Fire Nation?

“—and only you can restore the honor of the Fire Nation,” Iroh finished.

Xia had been so lost in her thoughts she had not been listening. She felt bad she wasn’t paying attention because she was thinking about a future that wasn’t even possible.

“I’ll try, Uncle,” Zuko said.

Iroh explained how he had a vision of taking down the wall of Ba Sing Se, but it had been to take it back from the Fire Nation and then he turned to Zuko saying he had to be the one to go to the Fire Nation and take his rightful place as Fire Lord. But Azula was waiting for him there.

“I’ll be with him,” Xia moved closer to Zuko. “You won’t face her alone. Katara, will you join us?”

Katara grinned. “It’ll be my pleasure.”

“What about the rest of us?” Sokka asked.

“There’s still a fleet of airships to take care of,” Xia reminded him. “You’ve always been the man with the plan, Sokka. I know you know that.”

Sokka grinned. “Oh, you know it, all right!”

A new plan formed.

Sokka, Suki and Toph would help with airships.

Xia, Zuko and Katara would go to the Fire Nation and take down Azula. They were going to take Appa. Katara helped Xia pack for the journey.

Iroh caught her alone when she went to look for food. In his eyes she could see he wanted to have a serious conversation.

“I am aware of what was done to you,” he spoke softly and his eyes watered. “I am sorry my family caused you so much hurt.” He bowed to her.

Xia gulped. “I do not blame you for their doing, General. Zuko kept me safe.”

“I knew from the moment I met you, you would be a good influence on him,” he smiled. “You are part of the reason he took his training seriously. You motivated him because you kept kicking his butt!” he laughed wholeheartedly.

Xia laughed with him and thought about the many times she used to leave Zuko in the dust. The two stopped laughing and he embraced her.

“Thank you for showing my nephew he is worthy of love.”

Xia embraced him too. “He has shown me that as well.”

“Now, please call me Uncle as well!”

Xia chuckled but hid her insecurity. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to become the queen of the nation responsible for the genocide of her people. She wasn’t sure if it was right. But again, she was getting ahead of herself. Right now, all that mattered was beating Azula and that wasn’t going to be an easy task. Especially since she knew her trigger words were still there.

Zuko asked his Uncle what he planned to do after the war. Iroh said he planned to retake his tea shop and play Pai Sho every day.

Xia smiled down at Iroh and then turned up to look at Sokka, Suki and Toph. She knew they were going to have a tough time, but she had confidence in them.

“See you guys soon,” she told them. “Stay safe.”

“You as well,” Suki waved at her.

“Come back to us,” Xia spoke to Toph and Sokka. “No funny business.”

Toph grinned. “You’re the one facing a sociopath. Watch your backs.”

Xia chuckled lightly. Zuko led them this time.

They were on the air and on their way to the Fire Nation. Xia had mixed feelings, but one feeling outweighed everything…victory. They needed to win this. The day turned into night, but she felt it. The comet. It came from the horizon like a small sun. She turned to Zuko and wondered if he felt the effect. It seemed he did because she could see his body tense.

“I can take over,” Xia told Zuko. He moved over as she took over the reins. “You’re gonna need all your strength.”

“Yeah, we can take on Azula,” Katara commented from behind them.

“I’m not worried about Azula,” Zuko told them. “I’m worried about Aang. What if he doesn’t have the guts to take out my father? What if he loses?”

Xia smiled softly and she inhaled deeply, closed her eyes and reached for that connection in the spirit world. The one place she found peace.

“Aang has found the answer he needed,” Xia spoke but she felt like the answer wasn’t coming from her. She opened her eyes and she felt both of them looking at her.

“You reached into the spirit world,” Katara commented.

She nodded. “I wasn’t sure if I still could with all of my…problems, but it seems I still can. Aang won’t lose. I know it.”

“You’re right,” Zuko nodded.

**

Xia could see it. The Fire Nation.

She reached over to Zuko and shook him awake.

“We’re here,” she told him.

He rubbed his eyes and sat up straight. The comet was still behind them.

“Do you feel it?” she whispered to him. “The comet?”

Zuko inhaled deeply and then exhaled. “Yes…it’s…amazing and scary. Much like when I’m redirecting lightning.”

She shivered at the thought. “Katara, we’re here,” the water bender had also dozed off to prepare for battle. Katara sat up and stretched.

Xia redirected Appa towards the temple. The bison reached just as Azula was about to be coronated. Once they landed, Zuko jumped off and told Azula she wasn’t going to become FireLord that he was. Azula laughed and her eyes turned to Xia. She could see Azula wasn’t right. Her hair was disheveled, and her eyes were all wrong. She wasn’t the composed Azula from before.

“Just you and me brother, an Agni Kai!”

“You’re on!” Zuko agreed. “As long as you don’t use the trigger words against Xia…it’ll be just you and me.”

“What are you doing?” Katara told him. “She’s playing you. She knows she can’t take all of us on. So she’s trying to separate us.”

“Don’t protect me like that,” Xia snarled. “Katara is right.”

Zuko turned to her with fierce determination. “I know what she’s doing. But I can take her this time. Do you trust me?” his golden eyes flickered with hope that she did.

“Of course,” not a moment of hesitation in her voice. Xia gave him a nod. “Okay…we do this your way, Zuko.”

“You two are so gross,” Azula groaned from the top. “Let’s get this over with.”

They were led to a large courtyard. Katara and Xia were behind Zuko at a safe distance.

“Trigger words?” Katara asked when they were together. Zuko and Azula were about to begin.

Xia turned to the water bender. “Katara, Azula is not going to keep her promise. I know she will use the trigger words whenever she feels she is losing. So, don’t hesitate to knock me out, okay?”

Katara frowned but nodded her head. “Okay.”

Xia had no doubt in her mind Azula planned to use her as bait. Or as a distraction. She was Zuko’s weakness and he was hers. But that didn’t mean they would lose. It was a bit sad to see Azula slipping. Ty Lee and Mai both turned on her. She probably had trust issues. Xia noticed the Dai Li were gone, so she must have sent them away as well.

The Agni Kai began. Their flames were much bigger than before. Katara reached for Xia’s hand. It took her breath away as well. Azula’s blue flames and Zuko’s red clashed together and neither seemed to waver. All the buildings around them were not spared. The roofs caught fire. She hoped there was no one inside of them. 

“It’s… kind of beautiful,” Xia murmured, but began to feel the sweat across her forehead. 

“Really scary. Makes me wonder how Aang is doing,” Katara squeezed her hold on Xia’s hand. “So much power. They’re so evenly matched.”

Xia saw Azula panting. Hard. “I think Zuko sensed what I did. Azula isn’t right. She’s not like before.”

Azula looked frustrated and actually scared. So, she got closer to Zuko. He remained composed and blocked everything she threw at him. Xia was scared for him, but also knew he could handle himself. He had come so far in the short amount of time. The scared little boy she met the first time was nowhere to be seen. Now stood a man who had suffered and admitted his mistakes.

She loves him. With every fiber of her being. She loves him.

Zuko managed to trip Azula and she fell to the floor hard. She rolled a few times before she landed on her side.

“What?! No lightning today?!” Zuko shouted at her. “Afraid I’ll redirect it?”

Azula groaned as she got up and her eyes turned to Xia. “Fire Lord Ozai would like you to join him on a walk to the beach.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is that a cliffhanger? Yes. Yes it is.


	9. Time

Katara didn’t have time to dodge. Xia’s fist made contact with her jaw knocking her off her feet. Disoriented Katara fought to stay conscious. Xia stood over Katara. The younger girl trembled as she saw her friend with no life in her eyes. The person she had seen as an older sister the past year. The person who held Katara during those dark times. Fought by her side and who taught her what it meant to be a strong person. It sent a shiver down the spine of the water bender to see that there was no love.

“Now it’s an even fight,” Azula laughed mechanically.

Zuko watched as Xia raised her fist and was probably going to knock out Katara. 

“Xia!” He called out to Xia but she kept moving. He moved to stop her but Azula’s flame blocked his way. 

Katara only had a second but that was all she needed. She used her water to stop Xia from delivering the final blow. She broke free and twirled on her foot and kicked Katara on her side. Katara cried out in anguish. A rib must have been broken because it hurt to breathe. She had to remember that Xia was not herself, so she couldn’t hurt her. But she also couldn’t take all the hits.

Katara should have paid closer attention. She should have heeded Xia’s warning. Even though she wasn’t a bender, she was a lethal weapon. She could go toe to toe with any fighter bender or not. She has witnessed Xia make it seem like it was easy to win, but Katara knew how hard it was.

Xia moved back and stood between them and Azula. 

“Why are you hiding behind her?” Zuko growled. He hated to see that familiar look in Xia’s eyes. It was worse now. His chest ached at the sight and he thought of how to get out of this without hurting her.

Azula laughed again. “I just like the desperate look in your eyes when the one you love is hurting your friends.”

“Xia, you have to fight it. You are in charge of yourself!” Zuko shouted at her. Her eyes remained lifeless. “Please...remember who you are!”

“There’s nothing you can do that can break her trance, Zuzu. Now, Xia…kill the water bender.”

Being so light on her feet, Xia moved faster than Zuko. He tried to get in her way. He planned to hold her down, but when she easily dodged him and went over him. In mid-air, he saw her face up close and he grunted when he didn’t see anything.

Katara was once again caught off guard. Xia didn’t hold back as she threw punches and kicks. The younger girl barely dodged it. Zuko tried to get to her to stop her, but Azula kept them separated. 

“Watch as your girlfriend kills your friend, Zuzu!” Azula grinned.

“XIA! Think of AANG!” Zuko shouted and that was all Azula needed to kick him. He was knocked several feet away.

Katara watched as Xia stopped moving. Her fist ready for another blow. She watched as Xia’s eyes became clear. Like a fog had been lifted.

“Xia?” Katara smiled.

The older girl exhaled like she had been holding her breath. “Katara?” her voice cracked. Her eyes went around as she realized what she had done. What had happened. Her eyes as she watched as Azula was getting ready to use her lightning.

Her eyesight on Zuko. Who was knocked out on the ground, but was starting to get up. He lifted his head, their eyes met, and time stopped.

His golden eyes held relief because he saw that she was herself again. Her eyes moved to Azula as she got ready to release the lightning. Xia’s feet moved. Her mind went to several things all at once.

The night she was held in Zuko’s arms after he made love to her. Kissing him for the first time. It seemed to long ago, but it wasn’t not that long ago. The last thing she recalls is when he is teaching Aang how to redirect lightning.

Would it work? Probably not. She wasn’t sure if it was going to work, but she knew she had to try. She figured she would end up losing her life for Aang. But she was okay if she died for Zuko. For love. Her whole life revolved around Aang and this one time she didn’t think about what it meant. She just knew she would give up her life for Zuko.

Being light on her feet, she was able to get there just in time.

Zuko knew what she intended to do. He had to watch in horror as the lightning that was meant for him hit her chest. The person he loved the most was dying in front of his eyes.

Zuko was right, Xia thought. With lightning going through her body, into her heart, she never felt so powerful. So alive and yet she barely concentrated as she did the movements he did. She was sure she didn’t deflect enough to keep her alive.

Her body didn’t hit the floor. Zuko caught her. He ignored the pain because the left-over lightning was still in her body. He held her as he cried because of how pale she looked.

Her top was burnt open and he saw the scar that formed in the middle of her chest. Her eyes were still open and there was blood coming out at the corner of her mouth.

“Xia…why?” his hand shook as it came up to touch her face.

She wanted to say so much. To say what he meant to her. But there was no strength inside of her anymore. She didn’t want to fight anymore. All of her life, she had to fight. Now she wanted to rest.

The world turned white.

At the same time, on the other side Aang entered the Avatar state just as Xia’s heart stopped beating.

“Xia?” Aang saw her standing in the place he had seen when he had left the Avatar state.

They seemed to be a suspended time. They are forever entwined. Both felt each other in immense pain. Her life was tied to his and hers to his. 

Below them was Earth. Her eyes went to her younger brother. She smiled because she was going to be able to say goodbye.

“Why…are you here?” he asked as he walked towards her.

She merely smiled at him and he understood she didn’t need to say what happened.

He shook his head. “No! No! You can’t die!” He threw his arms around her and cried. “Please! I need you!”

“But you don’t…you’ve never needed me, Aang. You can do this,” she was finally able to understand. “You are strong on your own. My purpose has been fulfilled,” she chuckled. “My journey is done, but yours has just begun. I love you, Aang. And like I always wanted…I died for love.” She kissed his forehead.

Tears fell from her eyes because even though she was okay with dying, she wanted more time. Time to live as her own person. To be her own person.

She felt herself disappear and heard Aang’s cry of anguish.

That cry of anguish became louder and louder until she realized she was back at the Fire Nation.

“No! No! Don’t leave me!” Zuko’s voice sounded like she was underwater. She couldn’t move her body. She felt like she weighed a thousand tons. She wasn’t even sure if she was even breathing. She did feel pressure on her chest. Zuko was panting.

“Zuko, I got it!” Katara came and a moment later.

Xia felt her body twitch and her body became lighter and colder. She gasped as she took in a deep breath. Her eyes shot wide open. It hurt like hell, but she welcomed the pain. She coughed and that hurt too, but then she was embraced tightly. Zuko held her to his chest. His whole body shook with his cries. His wet tears hit her shoulder.

“Let her breathe,” Katara separated them. “Are you okay?”

Xia looked around and she saw Azula chained to the floor. Her eyes went to Katara who had clearly healed her. She looked down to her chest. Her shirt was burnt open and there was a scar there that reminded her of the one Aang had.

“I’m fine. Thank you, Katara,” Xia’s voice was hoarse.

“I thought you died,” Zuko wiped away his tears.

Xia sat up and groaned as she realized Katara only healed her wound on her chest, which was more than enough. “Honestly, I think I did. I saw Aang…he was able to reenter the Avatar state,” she smiled and turned to Katara and Zuko. “I know he will win.”

With Azula bound and gagged so she wouldn’t say the trigger words, Zuko carried her to his room. A physician looked over her. He wrapped her chest and told her to just make sure the wound doesn’t get infected. She would be fine with some time to recover.

Aang had rushed back. He needed to see with his own eyes that she was gone. He was clearly happy to see that she was alive. He hugged her tightly and she groaned in pain but was also happy to see him. He cried until it left his system. Thinking she had died, he was about to kill the Firelord, but he knew he couldn’t do it. Not in Xia’s name either. So he took away the Firelord’s fire bending ability.

“I thought you died,” he whimpered.

She chuckled. “I kind of did. Katara saved me just in the nick of time.”

“You said goodbye,” he shook his head. “Next time don’t give up so easily.”

She smiled. “I promise.”

“Xia…you have to live your life. I get that,” Aang pulled back and held his head down. “You’ve always been there for me. But now you have to live for yourself.”

“I know and I will, but you’re still my little brother. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

He laughed and lifted his head and wiped away his tears with the back of his hands. “Of course, but I don’t need a bodyguard anymore.” He told her sternly and with confidence she had never seen. Her little brother had grown up.

She sensed it. She saw it in his eyes that matched hers.

“Ah yes, you can take away bending now, right?” 

He blinked. “How did you know?”

“I read about it in the Library. About how before the Avatar what was bended was energy. I wasn’t sure if that was what you planned, but I had faith in you. Was the lion turtle huge?”

His eyes widened and smiled. “Gigantic. It was a whole island!”

“Amazing,” she grinned. “I wish I could have seen it.”

The door was opened and Zuko walked in with a tray of food.

“I hate to interrupt, but she needs rest,” Zuko placed the tray next to her. “She did redirect lightning.”

Aang nodded his head. “I still can’t believe you did it.”

“Me too.” She shook her head. “Probably some fluke in the system.”

Aang left her to rest himself. It must take a lot of strength and willpower to do that.

Zuko took care of her. He fed her something to eat. He slept with her but made sure to give her some room. But in the morning, they woke up in each other’s arms.

It was the first time in Xia’s life when she woke up not knowing what was coming next. War, she knew. She was prepared for it her whole life, but now that was over. What was left? They had to rebuild the Fire Nation and the other ones as well.

What was life going to be like now? What was the next step?

“What are you thinking?” Zuko yawned as he opened his eyes.

“Uh…nothing,” she drew circles on his chest. He lifted her chin with his fingers.

“What is it? Your forehead is wrinkly,” he tapped her forehead.

She sighed. “Where do we go from here? It’s only been a year, but I feel everything has changed.”

He turned up to the ceiling. “First, we find the Dai Li and tell them to help us make those trigger words go away.”

Xia’s eyes widened. She didn’t think about that. She fought back tears touched he was thinking of her when he was about to become Firelord. When he had so much on his plate, he was thinking of her. He was putting her first.

“Then, we restore the balance. Little by little. And I’d like to have you by my side,” Zuko’s heart had accelerated. She felt it beneath her palm. “Would you like to be by my side as…my wife? Eventually. No pressure.”

Xia chuckled lightly at how nervous he was. “Become a princess? Me? The nomad as a Fire Nation princess?” She had thought about it. But before it hadn’t seemed like a possibility. She didn’t think she would make it this far.

“I know my people and my family has hurt you a lot,” Zuko tightened his hold on her. “But I love you, Xia. There is no one else I see myself with restoring the honor of my people. Make up for what we did to the world. But I understand if it’s too much.”

“If I’m by your side, Zuko, I can do it,” she replied. He turned down to look at her. His own eyes were filled with tears of happiness to hear her say that. “Marriage can wait though, right? You’re going to become Firelord and we have so much work ahead.”

“Of course, I don’t care if we don’t get married, just be by my side,” he kissed her temple and then her forehead. He moved to the corner of her mouth and finally her lips. She sighed into the kiss and returned the softness he was giving her.

“I’ll be by your side,” she promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This would be a great place to end this. But I've been reading the continuation of the comics and I might write more. Or even go into Legend of Korra but we will see.
> 
> Thanks for reading though! Love to see that people liked it.


	10. Traitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided to continue this story. I have the graphic novels, so I'll be following those. 
> 
> That being said this means from now on there will be SPOILERS!!!!
> 
> Thank you for reading. Please enjoy :)

Xia squeezed Zuko’s hand as they travelled to Ba Sing Se. It was a hard place for the both of them to return to, but things were a little better. The Dai Li have helped her reverse the brainwashing. She still had one more session to go, but she felt the difference. She felt like her old self a little more. She wouldn’t be the same person, but she was happy.

She was ecstatic to be with her family again. Aang, Sokka, Katara and Toph attended the meeting with the Earth King. They all agreed that in order to make things right they would have to relocate the Fire Nation colonies in the Earth kingdom.

“That’s something we are gonna have problems with,” Xia rubbed her chin. “We are going to disrupt a lot of lives. People who have lived their entire lives there. Families who have land there for generations. They are not going to give it up so easily. Some might not see it as a way to make up for past crimes.”

“I’ll help oversee the relocation,” Aang added.

“Really? You’d do that?” Zuko asked surprised.

“Yeah, I’m the Avatar! Making stuff go peacefully is kind of my thing!” Aang grinned.

The King seemed to like the idea too. Of course, Sokka came up with naming the plan: The Harmony Restoration Movement.

“It truly is a gift,” Xia slapped his shoulder. 

He groaned but smiled as he rubbed where she hit him. “Good to see you in good spirits.”

“Hey!” She turned to the group. “Let’s go to Uncle Iroh’s shop. He said he got a new blend of tea.”

“Let’s go!” Toph agreed.

Xia was well aware that her Fire Lord boyfriend was being quiet. He was smiling and agreeing, but she could tell something was bothering him. She also knew what it was. 

Ever since he went to visit his father at the prison, she could sense something was weighing on him. She tried to get him to talk, but he brushed her off and told her he was fine. He’d change the subject.

She understood the need not to talk about it. That was how she dealt with things as well, but she didn’t plan to let it go on for so long. Once they were alone, she planned to at least let him know he could rely on her.

She realized what could possibly change his mood.

“Sokka, can you go get Aang and Katara?” Xia asked. “We plan to take Appa out for a ride. He’s been grounded all day.”

He nodded and got up from the table. Toph was busy talking to Uncle Iroh. She thought about talking to him about Zuko, but he looked so happy running his shop, she didn’t want to make him worry. She planned to take care of it. Take care of Zuko.

Zuko was at the table by the window. She saw that his head was elsewhere. He had that face he wore a lot lately that said he was lost in his thoughts.

She pulled up a chair next to him. He barely noticed her until she placed her hand on top of his. He jumped but relaxed as soon as he realized it was her.

“Zuko…I know what it’s like to have a heavy burden on your shoulders.”

“You know what it’s like to make up for 100 years of massacre without angering your own people?” he muttered. 

She sighed. “No, of course not. But you’re not doing it alone. You have me. Aang and the others on your side.”

“It’s not their responsibility.” He closed his other hand into a fist and brought it down to the table. Not hard, but not lightly neither.

“It kind of is. It’s all of our responsibility. We know change isn’t going to be easy. Aang will help and I will too. Zuko, please relax a little. Just for now…you’re just Zuko,” she reached for the top of his head and removed the crown and the band that held his bun in place. His hair fell down. “Not a Fire Lord,” she tugged at his hand, but he kept his head turned away from her. Her hand went to his cheek and she cupped it and turned his head so he could face her.

His golden eyes held so much pain and hurt. She wished she knew what to say to make him feel better. To see him smile again. They were happy for a few weeks and she wished they could go back to that. 

She leaned in and kissed him softly. Nothing too deep, but she gave all of her love into it. If she couldn’t say how she felt, she would show him. He was tense at first, but her love flowed into him and his shoulders dropped. He deepens the kiss and for a long time they lose themselves in each other.

“Gross!” A voice interrupted them. The couple turned to where the voice came from with red faces. Sokka stood at the entrance of the shop with Aang and Katara behind him. “I already had to see my sister kiss someone. Not you too!”

“Yes! Oh my goodness!” Xia got up and went to the couple and hugged them. One arm around each of them and she brought them close. “I always knew it!”

“Ugh, please…let go,” Aang pushed her and Xia released them but turned to her little brother.

“Aang…Katara,” she turned to the water bender. “I’m happy for the both of you.” Then she released a loud squeal. “We’re sister in laws now!” She grabbed Katara’s hands who was even redder than before. “I know you’re just dating now, but…let me have this. I have a sister now.”

Katara laughed. “That’s fine.”

“What am I?” Toph called from the other side of the room.

“A nuisance,” Xia stuck her tongue out and laughed.

**

Zuko did his best to relax as Xia had asked of him. It was good to be surrounded by his friends and to see Xia so happy as well. He almost forgot the thrill of being on Appa.

Then the fireworks started. 

“Sounds like the Earth King just announced the harmony restoration movement!” Sokka grinned.

“It’s so beautiful!” Xia sat across from Zuko and his eyes softened as he watched her watch the fireworks.

“Hey, wanna know what fireworks are like for me?” Toph asked Sokka. “Close your eyes.” He did and then she got close to him and screamed ‘BOOOM!’. Sokka screamed.

Xia laughed but then hugged Toph and Katara joined her.

“Oh, Toph,” Katara said, “don’t be such a grump. You’re out with friends on a beautiful night celebrating the face that we saved the world.”

“True,” the blind bender sighed.

“Only the best company tonight!” Xia grinned and then she went back to watch the fireworks.

“You too your new Majesty Fire Lord Zuko, Sir!” Aang had noticed how quiet he was the entire time. “Turn that frown upside down. It’s happy time!” Aang stretched the corner of his mouth to make him laugh, but he saw that Zuko had his eyes focused on Xia and he understood something was truly off. “Zuko?”

“I visited my father in prison the other day. I’ve been meaning to ask you for a favor, Aang,” Zuko knew what he was about to ask was something extreme, but he needed assurance.

“Sure anything,” Aang nodded his head his eyes flickered to his sister who probably couldn’t hear their conversation because of the loud booms.

“If you ever see me turning into my father, I want you to… I want you end me.”

“What?!”

“Even now, after everything that’s happened, my family’s legacy is still a part of me. That’s why it’s my duty to heal the scars that the fire nation has left on the world, but the fire lord’s throne comes with a lot of pressure and if I’m honest with myself…” Zuko glanced over to Xia then turned back to Aang. “I need a safety net. The world needs a safety net. That’s what I need you to be, Aang, the safety net.”

“Have you talked about this with Xia?” Aang asked. “Zuko, you’re not your dad! And you’re my friend! How can you expect—”

“As your friend, I’m asking you—if you ever see me go bad, end me. Promise me, Aang.” Zuko insisted. He needed him to agree so he could have a little peace of mind.

Aang turned to his girlfriend. Katara had been listening, and she agreed so she nodded his head. Aang then turned to Xia. He didn’t want to keep this promise from her.

“…Fine. I promise,” Aang hung his head and sighed the words out.

“Don’t say anything to, Xia,” Zuko turned to Katara. “I don’t want to disturb her recovery.”

“She should know.” Aang muttered.

“I’m doing this not only to protect the world, Aang, but Xia as well,” Zuko gulped. “I don’t want to hurt her anymore.”

Xia joined the three of them. “You guys look so serious,” she sat next to Zuko and rested her head on his shoulder. “What’s going on?”

“Just talking more logistics about the movement,” Katara lied easily and felt sick to her stomach.

Xia nodded her head. “Yes! I want in. I want to help as much as I can. This isn’t going to be easy and I feel like it’ll take years to do what’s right, but I’ve come up with a plan.”

Zuko kissed the top of her head. “That’s why I love you.”

She laughed and then lifted her head so she could kiss her boyfriend. “Love you, too.”

**

**ONE YEAR LATER**

“XIA!” Katara ran towards the air nomad.

The girls embrace each other tightly. It had been a whole year since they last saw each other. They communicated only through letters. Xia felt her chest get lighter just hugging Katara. Then Aang came into view and Xia’s eyes filled with tears. She left the arms of the water bender and hugged her brother. It felt like coming home.

“You got taller,” she laughed as she hugged him.

Aang laughed. “Yeah, I did. I’m almost as tall as you!”

Xia pulled back but kept her hands on his shoulders. She admired her little brother and how big he had gotten. She could hardly believe how much time had passed since they last saw each other in person. She was so happy to see them. Sokka was with them as well and she hugged him too.

“Everything okay?” Sokka asked as her embrace went on for a little longer than usual.

Xia released him and then laughed nervously. “It’s just good to see familiar faces. I’ve been relocating a lot of fire nation citizens from the colonies and some of them are not happy to see me. Even if I’m dating the Fire Lord. I’m still just an outsider to most of them.” She left out the part where she felt a stranger as well with someone else.

“Your letter sounded like you were struggling,” Aang placed his hand on her shoulder. “How’s Zuko?”

Xia forced a smile. “Let’s…deal with this and then we can talk. So, Mayor Nishi is very skeptical about moving. Thanks for coming. I’m sure hearing the Avatar assure her a good place at the Fire Nation will assuage her concerns.”

Being the people person, Aang was able to convince the Mayor that Xia had struggled to convince for the past two weeks about relocating. She was the last family in the colony she had spent six months at helping relocate.

Using a Fire Nation ship, they started to head home.

Home.

Xia showed Sokka where he was staying with Aang. Katara was going to stay with her. Xia made sure the passengers were fed and showed to their rooms. After that, she held dinner at her room. The place she had been sleeping for the past six months.

Aang, Katara and Sokka told her of the people they’ve helped.

“It’s been a year,” Aang sighed, “and we still have so many people to relocate.”

“I told you it wouldn’t be an easy task,” Xia reminded him. “People have been in the Earth Kingdom for decades and it’s all they’ve known.” She closed her eyes as she tried to forget about the children crying not understanding why they had to pack up and leave. It broke her heart every time. “It’s not pretty most of the time. I’ve been spat on. Some have tried to kill me.”

“What?!” Katara’s mouth dropped open.

Xia chuckled nervously. “Oh, did I forget to mention that?”

“That’s a big thing to leave out!” Sokka yelled. “How many times? Where? Are we safe?”

“It was mostly at the Royal Palace,” she rubbed the back of her neck. “Zuko and I have been attacked about five different times. The Fire Nation citizens…some of them…think he’s a traitor.”

“Are you two okay?” Katara’s question made everyone tense.

Xia wanted to lie. She could have, but she couldn’t hold it in any longer. Months of keeping it together took a toll on her. She shook her head. “It’s…hard. You’d think after everything we’d be happy and thriving, but he shut me out. He thinks me being with him puts me in danger.”

“It kind of has if they’ve attempted to kill you five times,” Sokka pointed out.

“I’m not made of glass,” Xia rebutted with a roll of his eyes. “How could he forget that not even he could kill me and he’s deadly! So, I’ve been so focused on helping with the movement, I haven’t seen him in six months. We both agreed we needed some time apart. I thought it would be like a month, but it’s been six.” She sniffled and tried to hold back the tears. Everyone started to look blurry and her breathing quickened. “I don’t know what to do.”

Katara immediately went to her side and rubbed her back. “We will help you. We’ll talk to him and figure out what’s going on. Why didn’t you say anything before?”

“Yeah, we could have helped,” Aang bit his lip. He hated to see his sister in pain. Worst to know it was his friend causing it. “You’re not alone.”

Xia wiped away her tears but nodded with a smile. “Thank you, guys. I’m so glad we’re back together again.”


	11. Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JUST A FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT THIS STORY CONTAINS SPOILERS FROM NOW ON.

“DEATH TO THE TRAITOR!”

Xia saw the blade and her body moved swiftly. She caught the wrist of the attacker and then used her other hand to use a gust of air to blow him away. The man’s back hit the wall of Zuko’s room so hard that it cracked the wall.

Zuko woke up startled.

Xia didn’t keep her eyes off the attacker. She got out of the bed and went over to the unconscious body. She knelt down and checked for a pulse. She was glad she didn’t kill him. The guards finally came into the room and they were in a fighting stance. She glared at them because this was the third time an attempt on Zuko had happened.

She was aware of what she was wearing, but she didn’t let it make her seem any less scary. Her hands were at her hips.

“Here is the attacker. Search the palace to make sure he was alone,” she walked towards them menacingly. “And you better not miss a thing.” The guards nodded their heads and then started to move. Two of them took the unconscious body and the other started to search the room.

Xia turned to Zuko, who had gotten out of bed and had put on his robe. She went to her side of the bed and grabbed her robe from the end of the bed. She had gone to bed in shorts and a tank top. She went to Zuko’s side to check on him. He looked even more irritated than when they had gone to bed.

She understood his frustration.

Ever since being crowned Fire Lord there had been several attempts on his life. At first, it was just when he was in a village. Or when they were traveling, but this was the first time someone had come into their room. If she was honest, she didn’t feel safe in the palace. Sometimes the attempts were on Zuko or there were on her. The last one before tonight had been for her. A woman had come into the office Xia was using to coordinate the disbandment of the Fire Nation colonies, the woman had been a Fire Bender and she had disguised herself as part of the royal servants.

That was when Zuko insisted they’d sleep in the same room since they had been sleeping in separate ones because they were still only boyfriend and girlfriend. She agreed, but only because she was sure she was the only one who could keep Zuko safe. And she was right.

The man had come so close. Really close. She knew he could protect himself, but she was glad she was there for him.

“Am I really that bad for the Fire Nation?” Zuko sat back down at the end of the bed. His eyes followed his guards that searched the room for any clues. Xia had deducted already he had come in through the window. She saw the hook grapple on the balcony from where she was. She wanted to see if the guards would find it.

“Change is difficult to understand. You should know that better than anyone,” she crouched in front of him and took his hands. “There are bound to be people who will resist, but time will tell that we are doing the right thing.”

Zuko nodded his head, but his eyes went to her arm and he stood up and took her with her to her feet. He took her left hand and turned her arm. Her eyes widened when she saw the blood trickle down her arm. She had not felt the blade touch her, but then again, her Air Bending wasn’t perfect, so her arm must have been nicked.

“I need a medic immediately!” Zuko shouted to his guards. His whole body shook with anger.

“Zuko!” She used her right hand to cup his face so he would look at her. “I’m fine! Really. It’s just a little scratch.”

“It shouldn’t be like this,” his eyes watered. “It’s supposed to be a good thing. I-I don’t want you to get hurt anymore.” He pressed his forehead against hers. His hands went to her shoulders holding her like an anchor.

“I’m all right. Nothing bad happened.”

“I’ll make sure nothing else happens to you,” he vowed. He turned to his guards and released her. “Take me to where you took the prisoner. I want to personally interrogate him.”

He followed a guard and she went after him and took hold of his arm with the arm that was bleeding.

“Zuko, we can do that later. The man was unconscious. Let’s go back to bed,” she insisted because she felt something in her stomach. An old feeling, she gets when something is about to change. Zuko didn’t even meet her eyes, he was looking down at her injured arm.

“I have to keep you safe. I gave Aang my word you would be safe with me,” Zuko removed her hand from his arm. “Get your arm looked at. I’ll be dealing with this.”

Xia held in her tears because she knew this was the moment something major was happening. Zuko had shut her out. He was pushing her away.

**

Xia didn’t like to think back to that moment, but she knew it was when Zuko decided to keep her in the dark about his true feelings. She felt bad for not pushing more. After two more attempts, he had enough, and they agreed they needed time apart. Not because she felt in danger, but because they were arguing more and more. 

She wished she could have done things differently. But with Aang maybe she could make Zuko see that they were better together and not apart. Six months was the longest she had gone without seeing him. Even when he was chasing her brother, she would see him more often. It hurt to know he was hurting, and she couldn’t do anything about it.

She knew he wanted to make a difference for his people. But his people were made to believe they were the best. That what they were doing was just spreading the goodness of their nation. Most didn’t know about the atrocities they did. How her people were slaughtered driven to the brink of extinction because the Fire Nation wanted to get rid of the Avatar.

Xia turned to her back and stared up the ceiling of her room. They should be close to the port of the Fire Nation. The check point she had created for people being relocated. She was proud of it. It had taken months to get it up and running, but it was a smooth process. Most people told her that it wasn’t as scary as they thought it would be.

Her body and mind told her sleep wasn’t something that was going to happen. So she sat up on her bed. Katara had taken the cot on the other side of the room. She slept soundly. Xia was glad to see Katara and Aang doing so well. It made her feel good knowing Aang was getting the life he deserved. Also by the looks, he was having far better luck relocating people.

He was the Avatar and he had a way with people that Xia just lacked. She never thought she would be in the Fire Nation. When she found out about her people, she felt a rage that took over her soul. Now, she forgave them. She didn’t forget, but she forgave. 

She hoped Zuko would open up with all of his friends there. Xia felt like a bad girlfriend for not being able to reach him. She wrote him letters, but she had yet to receive any back. She felt they were growing apart. And she hated that she didn’t know what to do about it. She didn’t have the answer and that was what hurt the most. She was the person with the answers. All of the time she was looked up to.

Xia left her room without disturbing Katara. She went to the kitchen in the ship and said good morning to the crew already starting on breakfast. She helped peel potatoes. Her crew liked her and respected her. Regardless that she was an Air Nomad. They saw her as their leader. Mainly because they knew she wouldn’t ask them to do something she wasn’t willing to do herself.

Cooking was a great way for her to get her head cleared.

She helped serve the food. She made sure to make a vegetarian option for Aang. He was really glad when he saw that. He hugged her tightly. The Mayor was skeptical of the food, but Xia saw she appreciated the food. She helped clean up the kitchen and her crew thanked her. She went to the control room and she was told they were an hour away from the port.

She went back to her room where she took a shower. She had not seen Zuko in months, so she washed her hair and then got into her new clothes. She wore Fire Nation clothing to appease the people she helped. She didn’t have the arrows, so most didn’t know she was an air nomad until she introduced herself.

One would think being related to the Avatar would have some pull, but since she wasn’t the Avatar most people didn’t care who she was. She wasn’t royalty and she wasn’t the Avatar.

Once they got to the port, Xia got into work mode. She got off the ship and instructed the crew to be careful with the belongings. She was going to check the next available spot for the people. She got to the offices, but she frowned when she didn’t see people she usually saw. Usually it was really busy and there would lines of people trying to figure out where to go next.

She went to her main office and found someone she didn’t recognize. In her seat.

“Who are you?”

He seemed to be in his forties. His uniform said he was a captain, but she didn’t recognize him.

“Who are you?” he replied.

“I’m the owner of the seat you’re on,” she glared at him. “Where is everyone?”

“Did you not receive the news?” he stood up. “The Fire Nation is no longer taking in anymore people from the Earth Kingdom colonies. Fire Lord Zuko is withdrawn his support of the Harmony Restoration Movement.”

Xia’s mouth opened in shock, but she recovered quickly. “What?! Since when?!”

“Since last night,” he picked up some papers from the desk and handed it to her. “You should have received the news by now.”

Xia was too distracted reading the letters. It was true. It had Zuko’s signature at the end. She ripped up the letter and the captain gasped.

“Don’t you dare turn people away. I made a promise to these people we would have a home for them, and we will.” The calmness in her tone surprised even herself.

“But Fire Lo—”

“I will speak to the Fire Lord myself,” she hissed. “Now find me a home for these people!”

The Captain nodded his head and gulped. “Yes ma’am.”

“Do you know the Fire Lord’s whereabouts anyway?” she cleared her throat clearly embarrassed she wasn’t even sure if Zuko was at the palace or not.

“Last I heard he was at Yu Dao at the Earth Kingdom to protect the city from the protestors.”

Xia went back to the others and chewed on the information the guy told her.

“What’s going on?” Katara asked.

She looked at her, then Sokka and Aang and she told them what the ‘Captain’ told her. Their mouths dropped.

“There has to be a misunderstanding,” she quickly told them. “Let’s go talk to Zuko and clear this mess. He’s at Yu Dao.” She didn’t wait for them and she headed towards Appa. 

Behind her Katara and Aang gave each other worried expressions. Both were thinking the same thing. A promise Aang had made that he might have to go through with it.

Aang’s promise present in his mind that made his stomach twist in knots.

**

On their way Toph joined them. Xia was happy to see the blind bender. Aang was meditating to seek help from the past Avatar for some reason. She had the reins, so she wasn’t paying attention when Katara was telling Toph that the reason Aang was meditating was because of a **promise** he had made.

Appa flew over some mountains and Xia saw the entrance to the city there was a group of people. They didn’t look happy. Appa landed just as Aang woke up. Xia got off Appa and approached the crowd. She recognized them. It was the Freedom Fighters.

“It’s Smellerbee,” she recognized.

Smellerbee turned to them and her eyes sparkled with joy. “Look, everybody! It’s the Avatar!”

The group cheered. Aang looked uncomfortable but smiled.

“Aang! We were hoping you would come! So, what’s the plan of attack? The freedom fighters are at your service!”

Xia flinched at the word ‘attack’. “We’re here to talk to Zuko. Not attack.”

Smellerbee frowned. “You would say that, but he broke his promise and he must pay for it. Besides, you’re not getting into the city without a fight! Fire Nation troops are everywhere.”

Xia extended her hand out and with her air bending she got her staff into her hand.

“That’s amazing!” Aang clapped his hands. “Your bending is improving so much!”

She smiled at her younger brother. “Thanks to you. Now, let’s talk some sense into my boyfriend.”

Using a glider similar to Aang’s but it was purple, she flew over the wall and avoided the Fire Nation troops. She landed safely on the other side. Aang and Katara joined her shortly.

Xia heard the footsteps of the soldiers as they approached them.

“Flamio, hotmen!” Aang greeted them with his hands together.

But Xia and Katara quickly got into a fighting stance.

“This city is under the protection of the Fire Lord himself! No one may enter without his express permission. Not even the Avatar. Leave now!”

“Stand down soldier,” Xia warned him and reached behind her and took out her papers that she would show other troopers to show she was on their side. “We are here to just talk to Fire Lord Zuko.”

The man ignored her papers and glared at them. “You were warned.” He attacked Aang, who easily dodged the fire. Aang used earth bending to immobilize the soldier who attacked first.

“I don’t want to fight!” Aang shouted sternly.

The other soldiers looked confused as to what to do.

“What are you dolts waiting for?! Attack!” the guy shouted.

The soldiers listened to him and started to attack Aang. Xia shook her head and crossed her arms across her chest. She knew her brother could handle him. As he dodged several attacks Aang’s clothes caught on fire. That pissed off Katara and she quickly took down most of the soldiers. Something about stopping trying to set her boyfriend on fire.

There was on left that was on his way to attack Katara behind her, but Xia used her bending to push the guy halfway across the courtyard they were at. Katara started to move when Zuko seemed to come out of nowhere and took hold of her wrists.

“Katara! Stop!”

“Let go, Zuko! You’re hurting me. Don’t make me hurt you back!”

Xia took a moment to take in his appearance. His face had gotten worse. She could see more of his cheekbones. The dark circles under his eyes were darker and more sunken in. He also looked so much skinnier than before. It pained her to see the drastic change in him. She barely acknowledges them arguing until Aang blew Zuko off Katara.

By instinct Zuko attacked back. Aang used water to block the fire balls, but she sensed her brother was extremely upset and he had every right to be.

“Maybe Avatar Roku is right. Maybe a promise is a promise,” Aang’s eyes glowed along with his tattoos. His feet left the ground and Xia took hold of his wrist. He turned down to her.

“Aang, calm down, please. You won’t be able to control yourself in the Avatar state!” Her eyes pleaded with him. She heard Katara call out to him as well. His tattoos stopped glowing and his feet touched the ground.

Xia caught her brother and embraced him. She was thankful Aang was able to control himself.

“I can’t believe it. I might’ve done something terrible without thinking it through, Zuko, I’m so—” Aang started.

“Xia’s right. We both need to calm down and talk.”

Xia turned to Zuko. His eyes locked with hers and she could see the guilt in them. He was barely acknowledging her.

Zuko explained why he did what he did. He spoke about the city. They walked the city together and watched how the fire nation people and the earth people lived peacefully. No one was richer than the other. They all worked equally for what they had.

Aang pointed out that betraying the Harmony Restoration Movement was going to start another war. Zuko told them a week ago he had planned to enforce the removal, but something happened. There was another attempt on his life. The daughter of the mayor tried to kill him because she was upset that the Fire Lord was going to destroy her city. Tear her family apart.

A family made of fire benders and earth benders. He also saw what he would destroy if they went through with the removal. He decided to stop it all because he wanted to help his people. He spoke of how he had been restless since his coronation because he had forgotten about his own people.

“I know you defeated the Fire Nation, Aang, but my people still deserve respect,” said Zuko.

“I defeated the Fire Nation?!” Aang argued back. “You mean I defeated the Fire Lord!”

“It’d be disrespectful to take from them a life they spent generations building! I won’t let you do it!” The Fire Lord shouted back.

“Harmony requires four separate nations to balance each other out! You can’t have balance if one nation occupies another!”

Xia turned to her right feeling eyes on them. By their clothing she could see they were probably the people Zuko had been talking about. The father was the fire bender and the mother was the earth bender. Xia made eye contact with the mother. There was fear in her eyes. A fear Xia was familiar with. Someone who was afraid of losing everything precious to them. She did see that this city was different from the others. People didn’t fear each other. They treated each other with respect.

“Maybe…this city could be the exception,” Xia found herself saying. She drew her eyes back to Zuko, who looked shocked that she had agreed with him. Somewhat. 

“What?!” Aang yelled at her.

“I agree with Xia,” Katara mumbled and scratched the back of her head with pink cheeks.

“I can’t believe this!” Aang groaned.

“Exceptions should be made for all the remaining colonies! Most of them have been around for over a century. They’re older than you, Aang.”

Xia stood in front of Zuko and narrowed her eyes. “You should have consulted us before doing this, Zuko. You made a deal with the Earth King. Taking your word back makes you look like…” she stopped herself and her eyes widened at what she was about to say. Zuko’s lips pursed.

“Say it. Finish what you were going to say,” Zuko clenched his hands into fists.

“If Aang and I can arrange a meeting with the Earth King, will you be there, Zuko?” Katara’s question made the couple relax.

Xia took a step back and crossed her arms across her chest.

“I’ll be there,” he nodded his head. He started to walk away.

Xia turned to Katara and Aang. “You guys go without me. I need…” Her eyes went to Zuko walking away.

Aang nodded his head understanding her. “Yes, he clearly needs you.”

She turned to her little brother. “And don’t think you’re off the hook about whatever _promise_ you made Zuko.”


	12. Spies

Xia wasn’t sure where she stood with Zuko. But she didn’t really care about that at the moment. She wanted him to feel better. He looked so exhausted. She wished she had not left his side when he pushed her away. She should have fought harder to stay. Before they set off back to the Fire Nation, she sent a message out to some old friends. Maybe they would be able to help them. They should arrive just before they did since they were a little closer.

What did put her at ease was that she was at his side again and she vowed not to leave his side until he was better. Seeing Aang again reminded her that her little brother was growing up. He didn’t need her protection anymore. Plus he had Katara who was the reason he got out of the Avatar State in the first place. That was Xia’s job before, but now there was someone else for Aang.

Once they got off the ship, Xia insisted that they should go eat something together. Like a picnic in the gardens. She really did like to sit by the pond and feed the turtleducks with him. She liked sitting down underneath that tree and be by his side. She missed those simple days.

“That sounds like a good idea,” he smiled, but it didn’t reach his ears. “But I should go back to work. Just to catch up the Generals about what is happening.”

“Fire Lord Zuko,” a voice came from Xia’s right. It was Mai.

They made eye contact and neither of them backed down for several moments. Mai turned away and bowed her head.

“I am glad to know you’ve returned safe. Has the mob been taken care of?” she asked.

Xia cleared her throat. “They were protestors. Not a mob and they did have every right to react the way they did after what happened.”

“Zuko is only doing what is best for his people,” Mai narrowed her eyes. “You have no idea what kind of pressure he’s been under the past six months. You’ve deserted him.”

“I went to help keep a promise the Fire Nation made to make amends for the massacre.”

“It was the former Fire Lords who did that. Most of us were made to believe what we were doing was right!” she argued back.

Xia faced Mai with her nostrils flaring. “So, make up for it. I’m not directly blaming the Fire Nation people. I’ve met many of them who didn’t know either, but once they were told about what happened they are willing to do what it takes to make things right.”

“Ladies, please…” Zuko got between them. “I can’t have my head of security and girlfriend arguing.”

“So much for head of security,” Xia scoffed but held the surprise that Mai had taken over her old job before she left. “I can tell you still haven’t been sleeping, Zuko.”

His eyes widened and then softened. “How did—”

“Have you looked in a mirror lately?” Mai scoffed and averted her eyes from his, but he smiled at her kindly.

Xia suddenly got the feeling she was interrupting something. Something special. Six months didn’t seem like a long time, but it also felt like ages.

“I’ve asked some old friends to help with that,” Xia spoke a little louder than usual. On cue, the doors were opened and in walked in the Kyoshi Warriors. Suki leading them and Ty Lee among them. She grinned to Zuko. “The best of the best for you. Now tonight we’ll sleep like babies.”

Zuko turned to Xia and it felt really good to have his full attention. He stepped closer to her and cupped her right cheek with his left hand. His thumb caressed her lower lip.

“Thank you. What would I do without you?” he leaned forward and pressed his lips against her. Xia parted her lips to let him in. She didn’t care who was watching, but she did keep them into account and pulled back. He needed to rest, but also needed to eat.

“I’ll make us something and meet in our room,” she took his hands with hers. Her eyes twinkled with the thought of cooking for him. She loved to do that. “I’ll make your favorite.”

Zuko’s golden eyes turned softer. “I love it when you take care of me.” He pressed his forehead against hers. His lips only a whisper from hers. “I’m sorry.”

“No need for apologies. Now, go get some rest.”

He walked away with a little more strength than before. Xia waited until he was out of sight and turned to Mai.

“Thank you for looking after him,” Xia didn’t want to have bad blood with someone Zuko trusted.

“I didn’t do it for you,” she scoffed and walked away.

The Kyoshi Warriors had averted their eyes like they weren’t keeping attention to the drama in front of them.

“Thank you for coming on such short notice,” Xia told them.

“It’s no problem!” Ty Lee grinned.

“Well, I have rooms for you all to stay in. Dinner is served at seven. And Suki, can I talk to you privately?”

**

Xia made dinner for herself and Zuko and took it to their old room. He finished his entire plate and there was a bit of color back to his face. He was out of his Fire Lord clothes and yet he still seemed like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“I’m sorry for not coming back sooner,” she said as she collected their plates. She walked over to the door and handed it to the guard out there. He bowed and took it from her. She closed the door and returned back to the bed. “If I knew—”

“I’m the one who is sorry, Xia,” he took her hand. “I was ashamed I’m not as strong as you make me out to be.”

“You are strong! You’ve done amazing things, Zuko, with your upbringing you should be worse, but the good in who has always outweighed the bad.”

He flinched. “You think so? I know I messed up, but I didn’t know what else to do! Seeing that family, I thought about…us…and…how we’d be perceived.”

“Perceived?” she wondered.

“You are one of the last airbenders, Xia. What my family did to yours is unforgiveable. And yet you and I fell in love. You amaze every day for not holding the past of my people against me.”

“I know you’re not those people. And…I know that those people who hurt my people were following orders. Sure, some of them believed in what they were doing, but I doubted it was everyone,” Xia sighed deeply. “But I didn’t get there easily. I held a rage about what happened to my people for a long time. Until I saw you let go of yours, I did the same. Now, let’s have a good night’s rest.”

**

_The earth split in two. Xia felt the ground tremble underneath her. Her heart was at her throat and she was breathing like she had been fighting. She felt some wounds around her body, but what hurt the most was what was across from her._

_Zuko was on the other side. He was dressed in his Fire Lord clothes and she could sense there was fighting going on around them, but she couldn’t keep her eyes off of him._

_She extended her hand out to him and he extended his out to her, but she saw when the ground he stood on gave out and he dropped into the crater between them. She screamed as she watched him go into the darkness._

“NO! ZUKO!” Xia stood up straight screaming.

“What is it?!” Ty Lee rushed into the room from the balcony.

Xia immediately looked to her left only to find his spot empty. She didn’t even feel him leave the bed. But the nightmare had felt so real. The ones she knew were slightly true because she could still feel the adrenaline as if she had been there. In the future.

“E-every-everthing’s fine,” Xia panted as she wiped the sweat from her forehead. “Where did Zuko go?”

Ty Lee groaned. “Uh…he said he was going for a walk. That was an hour ago.”

Just as she finished her sentence the door opened and Zuko walked back in. Ty Lee excused herself. Xia ran out of her bed and she threw her arms around him. She needed to physically hold him. The nightmare was still fresh in her mind. The image of seeing him being swallowed by darkness played over and over in her head. She didn’t want that to happen.

“Sorry. I just needed to clear my head,” he wrapped his arms around her as well.

She listened to the sound of his heartbeat. His heart did skip a beat. A sign of a lie, but she didn’t care at the moment. She was glad he was okay.

**

A few days passed, but things did not improve. Xia felt when Zuko snuck out at night. Suki told her that he was going to the prison where his father was being held. When she found out, she was practicing her air bending. She took a deep breath and she released all of her anger into the bolder she had been trying to float up in the air. Instead she sliced it in half using the air as a knife.

Suki’s eyes widened and chuckled nervously. “Wow, good thing I’m not that rock.”

“Thank you, Suki.”

“I’m worried about him, Xia,” Suki rubbed her arms.

“I am too.”

“And you just got this letter from Aang.”

She handed it over. Xia unrolled the letter and her eyes scanned what Aang and Katara were up to. Apparently the King was not happy about what happened. Aang mentioned that the King wished she had been there since he trusted her. But the Earth Kingdom was not going to back down and planned to force out the rest of the Fire Nation in Yu Dao. Aang asked her to get to the city as soon as possible to keep everyone safe.

“Damn it,” Xia hissed and ran.

She figured where Zuko would be she needed to tell him what was about to happen, so the Fire Nation people were not surprised or ambushed. She headed to the Fire Lord room. She never liked going there since it only brought bad memories, but this was urgent.

She opened the door and saw the flames burn bright and as she approached the throne, she saw the fire go out. Extinguished by Zuko. Who did not look any better. Xia wished she had the right words to say to him to make him feel better. He noticed her and smiled softly.

“Don’t like the burning flames, Fire Lord?” she chuckled.

“It’s not my style,” his shoulders dropped.

“More like your father, who you’ve been seeing secretly,” Xia couldn’t help but mention.

Zuko’s mouth dropped but then his face turned even more pale, if it was possible. “How did you know?”

“What are you trying to find, Zuko?” Xia almost forgot what she came for. “You did everything to go against what your father wanted and yet you go back to him the moment things get hard?”

“You have no idea how hard it is!” he raised his voice.

“Because you won’t let me in!” Xia shouted back and opened her arms. “All this time you could explain it to me and I swear I’ll do my best to help you. I’ll do anything to make it easier. I thought leaving so you wouldn’t have to worry about me was the answer, but it clearly made things worse! You’re back to your old ways; you’re seeking the answers in the wrong place!”

“So what?! You’re just going to give up?! Leave me again?!”

“You pushed me away!” she clenched her hands into fists. “I didn’t know how to help you because I didn’t know exactly what was wrong! Now I see that you don’t want to be your father, yet you go to him for guidance. I can already tell what he told you. He said to put your Fire Nation first. That it was what mattered most. As if you can erase a 100-year war in one short year?”

“Fire Lord Zuko!”

General Maki ran into the room and he sensed the tension between the two of them but bowed his head and kneeled.

“A message has arrived from the spies you sent to the Earth Kingdom.”

Xia’s eye twitched and she narrowed her eyes at Zuko who gulped visibly.

“Your suspicions are confirmed. The Earth King’s army now marches towards Yu Dao.”

“Father…you were right,” Zuko whispered, but Xia was able to hear it.

“You sent spies into the Earth Kingdom?” the calmness in her tone sent shivers up Zuko’s spine. Her grey eyes filled with disappointment. It hurt more than anger to Zuko. “I will not support you in this. I came here to tell you that Aang told me what was happening and wanted to give you a fair warning…but…you are turning into something I don’t recognize.”

Zuko’s eyes are clouded with fear. “Wh-what are you saying?”

Xia could barely get the words out. “I’m saying goodbye, Zuko.” She turned her back on him and started to walk away.

“Come back! As Fire Lord I order you to come back!” The words left his mouth without thinking.

She stopped in her tracks and shook her head. Without turning back because she feared she would give in she replied. “What? You’ll do to me what your father did and force me to obey?” She spat. “It’s over, Zuko.”

Xia ran out of the rest of way unable to be in the same room with him any longer. Did she just break up with Zuko? She did. She had to. She went to find her staff and Suki found her at the courtyard. Xia explained what was going on and that she was going to help the people in the city. Suki asked what she could do to help.

“Find Sokka and Toph to help out. I think they might be at her Metal bending academy that’s near the city of Yu Dao,” Xia clicked the button that opened the wings of her staff. “I’m going to the city to help Aang.”

“Okay, sounds good,” Suki bowed. “I-I—do you know you’re crying?”

The older air bender touched her cheek and indeed it was wet with her tears. “Oh…I broke up with Zuko, but I’ll deal with that later. Go find the others!” Xia took flight and shoved down the heavy feeling in her chest. She needed to distract herself or she would breakdown.

**

It took flying all night, but she got to the city Yu Dao by morning. She knew she beat the Fire Nation Navy and that gave her enough time to meet up with her brother to come up with a plan. She flew around the city until she found Aang and Katara at the roof of a temple that was at the main entrance of the city. Neither of them seemed to notice she had landed, which meant she was still light on her feet.

“But I do know this. Air nomad culture can’t survive in a world where the nations invade each other, corrupt each other. I have to see the Harmony Restoration Movement through to the end.” Aang told his girlfriend.

“Even if it means fulfilling your promise to Zuko?”

Ah, yes that promise she told Aang she would want to know what it was. But knowing what Zuko feared it didn’t take long to figure out what it was. It made her mad that Zuko would make Aang honor something as horrible as that. And that Aang agreed in the first place.

“Yes.”

“But you’d be acting against air nomad philosophy! Isn’t that what you’re trying to preserve?”

“AARGH! It’s a contradiction, I know! That’s why my head hurts.”

“It seems everyone has secrets these days,” Xia tapped the end of her staff and the wings folded in.

Aang and Katara screamed and their bodies shivered. They got on their feet and faced her.

“Ho-how long were you there for?” Aang’s face turned pale.

Xia approached them and the couple noticed the bag under her eyes. How red they were. She looked so tired.

“Enough to figure out that stupid promise you made with Zuko,” she growled, but then she sighed and turned her head up towards the sky. “Look, I get why you agreed. You have a hard time saying no.”

“I don’t—”

“But something like ending my boyfriend if he turned into his father is something I’d like to be included in,” she returned to look at her brother.

Aang stepped in front of her. “He asked me not to tell you. He only asked me to…stop him from turning into his father to protect you! He feared he’d hurt you. It’s the last thing he wants.”

“Yet the two people I love the most in this world are the ones hurting me!” She shouted. “We will deal with this and then try to remember that we are related and that I shouldn’t kick your ass for lying to me.”


	13. War

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that this story contains spoilers of the graphic novels :)

Xia sat down at the edge of the ledge of the roof. Her mind was filled with so many emotions she felt like her head was going into overload. Her recent nightmare still fresh in her mind. Zuko was going back down a dark path and she wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to save him. This was different. A part of her told her that today was going to determine if Zuko would indeed turn into his father or if he was going to finally overcome it.

And that stupid promise her brother and boyfriend—ex-boyfriend made was ridiculous. But again, she understood why Zuko felt it was important to have a safety net. But to ask that of Aang. To keep her in the dark. She couldn’t understand why Zuko felt the need to leave her out of it.

“Xia?” Aang’s soft voice made her turn to her right. His head was bowed down and she knew he felt bad for it. “I really am sorry. I’ve felt bad for keeping for you. I honestly almost forgot about it,” tears appeared in his eyes and his voice was cracking. “I’m trying everything I can to not do it though. It’s not like I want to lose a friend.”

Xia softens her expression and places her hand on her brother’s shoulder. “I know that. It’s just…scary. I thought we were headed to the good times. Instead I feel like we are on the verge of a big change.”

“I didn’t mean to exclude you,” he moved closer and placed his head on her shoulder. Her arm went around him, and she rested her own cheek on his head. She released a long sigh. Even though he had grown up a bit, he was still very much her little brother.

“I know that. I promise we will get through this.” She told him.

“You sound…well, more like you don’t mean it. Did something happen with Zuko?”

She closed her eyes and sighed again. She opened them and said the words that would make it real. “I broke up with him. I thought things between him and me were getting better, but he was still keeping things from me. He’s been seeing his dad and taking advice from him.”

Aang lifted his head from her shoulder with wide eyes. “It explains a lot. He’s not himself.”

“The pressure of being Fire Lord are getting to him and I tried to help him, but he kept pushing me away. He says it’s to protect me, but I think it’s to protect himself.”

“Have you given up on him?”

“Of course not,” her immediate reaction said it all. “I just think our relationship needs a pause. He needs to get better mentally first. A relationship is a lot of work. It’s about communication and trust. We don’t have either at the moment.”

“I’m sorry, Xia,” his sincerity was clear. “I hope you two work things out.”

“Even if our relationship doesn’t survive, I just want him to be okay. I want him to see what I see. I see someone meant to help his people, but not like this.”

Her younger brother nodded his head. “I agree.”

“FIRE NATION OUT! HARMONY NOW! FIRE NATION OUT! HARMONY NOW!”

Smellerbee and the rest of the Freedom Fighters were at the city gate with weapons. The last airbenders stood up together and turned to each other. They smiled at each other.

“Let’s try to end this peacefully,” Xia told her brother.

“I’ll try to talk to Smellerbee.”

“I’ll stay up here if it doesn’t go well.”

She watched as her brother went down and tried to talk to the leader. Xia scanned the faces of the fighters and she could tell they had suffered at the hands of the Fire Nation. They wanted them out, but they were too blinded by rage to see the possibilities.

A city where all benders could come together? Even non-benders? That seemed unheard of, but Xia believed it was something that was possible. Not just possible, but it seemed a step in the right direction. Yu Dao could be that city since it was meshed so well already. None of the people there see nations. They just see people.

Xia promised herself to do what she could to make sure it went well. She went to Katara with a plan in mind.

“Katara…I need to ask something of you,” Xia started her eyes glanced down to her brother. “I want you to do something if it gets too far.”

Xia told Katara what she wanted the water bender to do. Katara agreed that was the best course of action if it meant things would get too heavy.

“PEOPLE OF THE EARTH KINGDOM ATTACK!” Smellerbee commanded.

The Earth benders had brought stone battering ram to break through the gate. Aang barely dodged in time. Katara went down to help him. Aang destroyed the battering ram with his head. He commented how Toph would’ve been proud and Xia could almost laugh because leave it to her brother to actually use his head to destroy the ram. The falling pieces were blown away by Aang and Xia assisted with a gust of wind to make sure the ones he missed didn’t hit anyone.

But there was a piece that was going straight for Smellerbee. Aang shoved the young girl out of the way just in time.

Xia felt the rumble. The ground moved beneath her feet and her eyes were cast down to see a familiar but smaller version of a drill. Xia turned around and warned the people near the gate to move out of the way. There was a toddler Fire Nation girl just watching as the wall in front of her was crumbling. Xia moved into action and moved the little girl out of the way.

Her mother had not been far away and cried out the little girl’s name. Xia had rolled on the ground but made sure to cradle the head of the little girl so it wouldn’t hit the floor. The mother came to Xia and took the girl from her arms. The mother thanked Xia profusely and with tears down her face.

“It’s no problem. But please get to safety as soon as you can. Let others know to clear the area for now!” She commanded as she got on her feet. The drill had already made a hole. Not only that but the freedom fighters were met with some of the Yu Dao citizens.

Kori was the girl who had attacked Zuko in his room, but whose family had convinced Zuko there was something special in this city.

Xia dusted off her clothes and approached the group.

“Listen, Smellerbee, maybe we’ve been thinking about this all wrong. What if Yu Dao is neither fire nation nor earth kingdom?” a boy asked Smellerbee who didn’t seem convinced.

“What if it’s a part of both?” Kori suggested.

“This is what I’ve been trying to tell you, Aang. Maybe we can make things better here without kicking all of the fire nation people out,” Katara spoke.

Aang turned to his older sister. “What do you think?”

“I agree. Nothing can stay the same, Aang. Being in an iceberg for 100 years we still thought it was like how it was, but things are evolving, and the people must evolve with it.”

“BAH! What are we waiting for? Let’s finish what we came to do!”

An earth bender sent a boulder in Kori’s direction. Xia acted fast and got in between the boulder and Kori and brought her staff to the floor slicing the boulder in half.

“DEFEND YOURSELVES, YU DAO RESISTENCE! DEFEND OUR HOME!” Kori shouted with her fist in the air.

Both sides started to attack each other. Aang blew away the Freedom Fighters knocking them through the gate breaking it and Xia blew back the Yu Dao Resistance.

“Don’t you get it, Smellerbee? I agree with you!” Aang told her. “I want the fire nation colonials to leave, too! I just want them to leave peacefully!”

The ground rumbled again and Xia behind the freedom fighters to see that what she feared had come.

“I don’t think that’s an option anymore, Aang,” Smellerbee said looking over her shoulder. “Looks like the earth king’s finally stepped up to his responsibilities.”

“Monkey feathers!” Aang muttered.

“Fuck.” Xia said what he actually meant to say.

“Avatar Aang!” voices came from behind them.

Xia turned to see a group of young girls dressed as air nomads. Aang slapped his forehead.

“Double monkey feathers!”

The young girl that seemed to be the leader stepped forward.

“Please forgive us for our unintentional disrespect! We’ve since covered our tattoos in deference to true airbenders! Now we, the Yu Dao chapter of the Avatar Aang fan club, place ourselves at your service!” They bowed their heads.

“I’m sorry the ‘Avatar Aang fan club’?” Xia chuckled humorlessly. “What—where—how?” She turned to Aang for answers and he just shook his head. Katara followed his lead.

“How about you just go home? I’ve already got these protestors to deal with, not to mention the giant army that just showed up.”

“But that’s why we’re at your service.” The young woman argued.

Xia was still trying to figure out if it was a joke or not. The girl sounded sincere. But she could sense Aang was on edge and was extremely uncomfortable.

“ATTENTION! ATTENTION! OFFICIAL DECREE OF THE EARTH KINGDOM RECLAIMS THE FORMER FIRE NATION COLONY OF YU DAO!” An earth general proclaimed.

Xia turned up the balloon where the Earth King was inside of. “Your Majesty, wouldn’t it be better if you came down and declared your own decrees?” she narrowed her eyes and placed her hand on her hip. Her staff on her left hand.

“General How’s doing just fine on his own, thank you!” he shouted from the top.

“FIRE NATION COLONIALS WHO REMAIN IN THE CITY ARE HEREBY DECLARED CRIMINALS AND SHALL BE ARRESTED ON SIGHT. THE HARMONY RESTORATION MOVEMENT SHALL BE COMPLETED ON THIS DAY, WITH OR WITHOUT THE COLONIAL COOPERATION.”

“YEAH! FIRE NATION OUT! HARMONY NOW!”

“This is it, Aang! You choose to either defend Yu Dao with us…or doom us,” the large boy told her brother.

“Not necessarily, Sneers! Look!” Kori pointed to her left.

It was Xia’s turn to slap her forehead.

“Monkey feathers on top of monkey feathers!” Aang groaned at the sight of the Fire Nation army now on the other side.

Zuko was on his rhino with the general on his side. Their eyes caught each other. He looked just as bad as when she left maybe a little worse. His eyes looked sadder. It had only been hours since she broke up with him and yet he looked worse.

“Stay back, Avatar Aang! We will protect you!” the young girls dressed as air nomads surrounded Aang and Katara.

“You guys aren’t protecting anything!” Aang whooshed them away as gently as possible. “You’re just putting yourselves in danger! You’ve got to go!”

One of the tanks that was closest to them actually had Toph and Sokka in them. Xia smiled knowing that Suki was with them. Sokka confirmed it saying that she was indeed the one driving.

“Good thing I told her to get you two,” Xia approached the tank.

Sokka complained why he wasn’t picked up by Aang and Katara. Katara told him that they had been busy. Then Toph asked since when did they defend the fire nation colonials. Xia rubbed her temples. Somethings never changed and her friends would argue about the dumbest thing in the worst timing possible.

General How approached them and told them that they would treat the colonials more justly than the Fire Nation had. But that they couldn’t accomplish anything with the Fire Lord’s army.

“We have a saying among the council of five. ‘An army with no leader is a dragon with no head’ you alone have the power to end this quickly.”

Aang asked for another option. The General told him the other option was war.

“Well if you guys were slowing down the fire nation down, how is it that they still ended up here?!” Katara told Toph.

“Keep your eyes on me, sugar Queen. Keep your eyes on me,” Toph grinned.

“She’s following my plan, in case you’re wondering,” Sokka had the same grin.

Toph jumped off the tank and landed on the ground with a loud ‘krack!’ The krack seemed to expand on the ground and it reached the other tanks. The bolts of the wheels of the tanks popped out. Rending the tanks wheelless. It still amazed Xia that Toph invented a new bending ability. One that was actually very handy.

“HA HA! Look at that! Idea guy’s still got the touch!” Sokka gloated.

General How commanded the earth kingdom troopers to use the distraction to go into the city. Zuko commanded his army to defend the people of the city. She acted quickly and jumped into the air and landed in front of Zuko. Aang landed next to her.

“THE HARMONY RESTORATION MOVEMENT WAS SUCH A SIMPLE PLAN!” Aang entered the Avatar state next to her. His feet left the ground. “WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST FOLLOW IT THROUGH?!”

“Snap out of it, Aang!” Katara came from behind Zuko and took Aang with her.

Xia was glad to see Katara remembered their talk. Aang needed to come to a decision, but he was too clouded by the people around him telling him what to do or think. She knew that it was a possibility that the answer was to fulfill his promise to Zuko. Xia understood that they were on the verge of something important and this decision had to be made the right way.

Xia saw her brother fly away in his glider. She was going to hold of the fighting from either side as much as she could. Her eyes went to Zuko for a moment and her mouth opened to say something and she thought he opened his to say something as well, but she didn’t say anything and instead flew back to join her friends.

“Okay, the plan is simple. Keep both sides from killing each other,” Xia told her friends who nodded their heads. She points to the middle ground. “We literally stay in the middle and keep them from killing each other. Katara, I need you to get the Earth King down here and see for himself what he is doing.”

“Feels good to take orders from you,” Toph slapped her back. “A true leader indeed.”

“HEY!” Sokka whined and pouted. “But I’m the idea guy.”

“All right, let’s go!” Xia ordered.

Katara went up to get the king. The others remained on the ground to keep the fighters apart. Instinctively, she stayed near Zuko to make sure he was okay. She knew he wasn’t in the best shape and she could tell in his fighting. To some he seemed strong and like nothing was wrong, but she could see his hands shake. She saw how pale he was.

“Xia, please! I just want to defend my people!” Zuko and Xia stood in front of each other. In their fighting stance. A year ago, she never would have thought she would be standing like this in front of him again. But she knew she was capable of taking him down. She just didn’t want to.

“I am letting Aang decide what to do. Even if it means fulfilling his promise,” she told him.

Zuko’s eyes were filled with shame. Caught in something else he kept from her. “At the time it seemed like the right thing to ask of him. I fear that…I might turn into my father.”

“Well, you’re not doing a good job of showing us that you’re not like him. This is something your father would have done. Look around you,” she gestured around her. “This could have been dealt with diplomatically yet here we are and the brink of another war.”

He seemed to take in the scene for the first time.

A chill went down her spine and her eyes went into the direction of the mountains. Shortly after there was a light that shot through the sky. It was Aang. It seemed he had reached a decision. Her brother arrived in the avatar state.

Aang floated above them with the elements swirling around him.

“AANG, I KNOW HOW THIS LOOKS LIKE, BUT I SWEAR TO YOU IN MY HEART…!” Zuko sighed and removed his helmet. “None of that matters, does it? I’m doing exactly what my father would have done.” 

As Zuko turned to Xia, Aang cracked the ground between the two nations apart creating a crater just like in her dream. She knew what was coming next. She saw the ground beneath Zuko’s feet give out. Her hand went out to reach him, but her fingers barely grazed his clothes. One moment he was in front of her and the next he wasn’t.

“ZUKO!” Xia screams at the top of her lungs. Horror filled her entire being and watched as the love of her life went into the abyss. “NO!” She felt arms go around her waist to keep her from going after him. Because she wasn’t sure what she could do, but she wanted to go with him. 

Xia watched as her brother dove down into the crater. Zuko was saved by Aang. She cried tears of happiness and she pulled off the arms of the person who had held her back. It had been Sokka apparently, but she hardly paid attention to anything else besides her brother setting down Zuko to the ground near the entrance of the city.

She ran towards them. She watched as Aang explained to the Earth King who they were fighting against. Just people who wanted to remain as they were. Nothing more and nothing less. The King seemed to understand and commanded his people to stand down for now. That he needed to see it for himself.

Xia saw as Zuko tried to stand, but his knees wobbled.

“Zuko!” She shouted his name and his eyes found hers. He smiled at her.

“…So I was right, then…? All along…my decision…was right…?” his body gave out and Xia was just in time to catch his unconscious body. She went to the floor with him in her arms. Her immediate reaction was to check for a pulse. Her hand went to his neck and checked for a pulse. His heart was beating. She cried in relief and held him tightly.

Her love for him wasn’t gone. Not at all. She loved him with his flaws because she could see he was still trying. She kissed his forehead and thanked the heavens he didn’t die. She didn’t know what she would have done if he had died.

**

On the fourth day—well night, Zuko finally woke up. His eyes fluttered open and the first thing he saw was Xia sleeping at his side. The top half of her body was at the end of the bed. For a moment he forgot why was lying in a bed and just admired his girlfriend---ex-girlfriend. 

When she broke up with him, he didn’t understand. But he understood now why she did it. He didn’t make it easy on her. He thought keeping her in the dark was the best option. She already went through so much that he didn’t want to add more to her plate. She deserved a quiet life. A life he couldn’t guarantee being the Fire Lord. 

And yet…he didn’t want to give her up. He wanted her by his side. To show her the love he held for her every single day. To wake up with her in his arms. To feed those turtleducks daily together. He wanted nothing more than just to have her by his side.

“Xia…” his voice was hoarse, but her head perked up. Her grey eyes always took his breath away, but he hated to see them watered. Then her arms were around him. The smell of her brought him the peace he had been searching for. “I’m sorry.” He started to cry into her shoulder. “I’m so sorry.” He didn’t need to say exactly what for because he knew she understood he was sorry for everything.

“I thought you were gone. I had…dreamt it and it had been worse to see it in real life,” she cried back and squeezed him tighter.

He groaned and she released him and apologized. She pulled back and she could see that the color had returned to his face.

“I’m going to tell your Uncle you’re awake,” she stood up and he sensed that she had put up a wall between them. He didn’t blame her. He did hide things from her. He pushed her away. He told himself that they would talk, but he could tell she wasn’t ready yet.

**

Xia left the room to find Uncle Iroh. It was the right thing to do and she was glad she did it. He was awake and for a moment she forgot that she broke up with him. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen to their relationship. She still loved him, but she couldn’t just forget what he did. Plus, there were bigger things at work than just their relationship.

They had been at the brink of another war. It wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine. There were still disgruntled people who didn’t believe in the change of the Yu Dao city.

Uncle Iroh was in the kitchen and she told him that Zuko was awake. He said it was good timing because he just finished making dinner. Aang had said he was going to meditate on the roof top. She told Iroh she was going to get him so he could fill in Zuko on what happened with the Earth King.

Xia went outside of the shop and jumped to the roof. She jumped in front of Aang and watched as he cried as he burned the insignia of the fire nation of the necklace, he had made that helped him meditate.

“You okay?” she asked as she crouched in front of her brother.

“I just…ended things with Avatar Roku. He wanted me to kill Zuko…for the sake of the world. His own great-grandson.”

Her eyes widened. “Great-grandson? That’s…insane.”

“I know. He and I just didn’t see eye to eye anymore. It…hurts,” he clutched his chest.

Xia cupped his cheek and turned his head up. “That must have been hard for you to do. I’m sorry, Aang. I have some good news though. Zuko is awake. You should fill him in and…talk things out.”

Aang stood up. “What about you two? Aren’t you getting back together?”

She shrugged. “I think we should focus on this first.”

Aang didn’t seem convinced that she was okay with that and she wasn’t. She told him to go talk to Zuko and to eat the dinner Iroh made.

Xia remained outside for a while. She looked up at the stars and then laid down on her back with her hands behind her head. She was exhausted. She had been taking care of Zuko for the most part, but also helped around the shop. Her mind was still fresh with the memory of almost losing Zuko. How her fingers grazed his clothes. She could remember how her heart had jumped to her throat.

Slowly, she went into a state of sleep. But once again she felt the pull of the spirit world. Her eyes opened and suddenly she stood in front of a lake. Surrounded by trees with eyes carved into them. But the thing that filled the air was the powerful being the seemed to be in the water. A very powerful spirit indeed, she could sense it. Then across the lake there was a large blue wolf with red eyes. So big, it almost looked like a large house. The wolf growled at her and Xia snapped open her eyes.

A warning, she felt. She wondered what it could mean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading <3


	14. Marry

“Zuko,” Xia arched her back and bit her bottom lip as she did her best to keep herself from being so loud. But that was proving to be difficult with Zuko between her legs licking and sucking her. Her back was against the wall of the small closet he pulled them into. Her leg was over his shoulder and she threaded her fingers through his hair. “Oh, fuck!” She pulled him closer to her.

“S-st-stop, we’re gonna get caught,” she whimpered and gasped when she felt his tongue back on her clit.

“I don’t care,” he mumbled against her flesh. “I need you…to cum.”

Xia threw her head back and her hips moved on her own and she thrust her hips forward and she felt the brink of her orgasm.

With her free hand she placed it over her mouth to cover her squeal as her orgasm hit. She pulled on Zuko’s hair and moaned his name as she arched her back. Bliss went through her body and when she was done, he continued to lick her.

“Zuko,” she pulled on his hair to get him away.

He smacked her hand away and went back to licking her. “No, I’m not done.”

“I came,” she gasped when she felt her second one coming right up. Seconds after saying that, she came again this time she had to use both hands to keep herself from being so loud.

Her eyes watered. “Pl-please…I’m done.”

“I don’t want to be,” Zuko kissed her inner thigh.

“We have to go to the meeting, Zuko. They’re gonna notice the Fire Lord not being there.”

“I miss you…” his eyes moved up to meet hers.

Xia already had a red face, so she turned away hoping he wouldn’t notice how much redder it got. It had been a few weeks since Fire Nation and Earth Kingdom had been on the verge of another war. Part of the deal to keep the peace they all had to attend some lectures about running a country from wise advisers.

Xia had been on her way when she ran into Zuko in the hallway. One thing led to another and he pulled her into the closet, or she pulled him in. She wasn’t sure how it happened. Only that it did, but she wished she didn’t. They still weren’t back together. Xia had moved to the Earth Kingdom as an adviser to the Earth King.

But for now, she was back at Yu Dao. The Earth King had suggested they all listen to philosophers and experts on starting a new government. She had agreed it would be a good idea.

Zuko got to his feet and Xia fixed her clothing. Zuko looked down on her with those cute eyes like a wounded turtle-duck.

“How many times can I say sorry?” he pecked her lips she tasted a bit of herself on him and it nearly wore her down to possibly continue what they were doing. But she had to remain strong. He rested his forehead against hers. “Come home.”

Xia flinched at the word ‘home’. She wasn’t sure what that meant at the moment. She had not talked to Aang about his kept secret as well. He tried to talk to her, but she told him they could do it another time.

“Don’t do this,” she pushed him away and it tore her heart to see his face as she did so. “You know things just can’t go back to how they were.”

“Tell me what to do,” his voice croaked and his eyes watered. He cupped her face with his hands. His thumbs stroked her bottom lip. “I’ll do anything.”

She shook her head removing his hands from her face. “Zuko, you have things to deal with that means our relationship can’t function how it’s supposed to. So…please focus on yourself and if it’s meant to be…it’ll be.” She placed her hand on his chest to assure herself that he was still very much alive.

Her dreams consisted of reliving that moment when he fell into the crater. She woke up in sweat several nights because of it. It calmed her to know he was doing better.

“Let’s act professionally,” she cleared her throat as if he just not made her come twice with his mouth. “I’ll go out first and then you can come out.”

“Do you still love me?” he grabbed her hand to keep her from leaving. “Can you at least tell me…there’s hope?”

She looked over her shoulder and smiled. “I still love you. Very much.” That wasn’t a lie.

He smiled a bit, but then he dropped it. “I’ll do whatever it takes to get you back.”

She took her hand back, smiled at him and then opened the door. She checked the hallway to make sure no one was around. She walked out and closed the door behind her.

She took two steps and she heard someone call her name from the other end of the hallway.

“Xia,” Katara grinned. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Aang came up behind Katara. His eyes widened at her. He looked away with shame and stayed behind Katara when he usually was already in his sister’s arms.

The older girl smiled at them. “Hi guys,” her eyes went nervously to the closet door and hoped Zuko heard them so he would remain inside. “I was just on my way to the meeting. Still getting used to these hallways,” she spoke extra loudly so Zuko would get the memo. “Let’s head there.” She gestured down the hallway.

“Have you seen Zuko?” Aang asked as Xia pushed them.

“Nope,” she popped her ‘p’ and giggled. “No idea he had arrived. Let’s go. It’s impolite to be late.”

**

Xia had agreed about listening to the experts, but she had no idea this guy would be so bland. He had been talking for the past thirty minutes and at first, she had been taking notes, but now her head was drifting off. Her eyes would droop. She did not sleep because she knew she would be seeing her brother and her ex-boyfriend. The two people she had trusted with her life who kept her in the shadows about something very important.

It hurt from Zuko, but it hurt deeper from her little brother. Her hand went to wound on her sternum. She and Aang had been close since he was born. She defended him with her life. And he easily kept her in the dark. For a year. He had plenty of opportunities to say ‘oh hey Zuko made me swear that if he turned into his father that I should kill him’.

Or Zuko could have confided in her ‘hey I’m having doubts in my ability to lead my people. Plus, I’m visiting my dad in the middle of the night for advice. Help me’. But neither of them felt like they should include her.

Normally, she would sweep that under the rug, but she was tired of doing that. She didn’t want people to take advantage of her anymore. She was over being stepped on.

“Can you repeat that last part professor?” Zuko raised his hand as if they were in school.

Xia glanced over to the Fire Lord who sat at the end, while she sat next to Katara away from her brother and ex-boyfriend. The professor sighed. “A teenager is a teenager apparently, even if he’s a head of state,” the old man said. “I was explaining Fire Lord Zuko, an ancient Earth Kingdom philosophy: Family is in essence a small nation and the nation a large family. Do you understand? In treating his own family with dignity, a ruler learns to govern his nation with dignity.”

Xia understood what that meant. As a ruler one had to think of the people, he/she or they are leading as a family. If you mistreat your family, what could be expected of the nation they lead? She could see why it made Zuko think.

His family situation wasn’t the greatest.

She couldn’t help but listen to Zuko.

“I put my father in a prison and my sister in an institution. My mother’s been banished for years. What does that mean for my nation?” he lowered his head and closed his eyes.

“Zuko that’s not what—” Aang started.

“The guy’s a blowhard! Only people like Katara and Xia are taking him seriously,” Sokka told Zuko.

“Katara…” Xia’s eyebrow flinched and then the next thing she heard was Sokka getting hit with snow.

After the meeting, Xia thought about visiting Zuko. Help figure out what he was feeling, but the King asked for her to return as soon as she could. Aang tried to get a hold of her, but she told him she was too busy.

She returned to her home the next day and she decided to take a bath. Her home was in the inner circle of Ba Sing Se. Part of her work perks. 

Seeing Zuko had been heartbreaking. She had done well enough for a month since she concentrated on just work. She busied herself so she wouldn’t have time to think or to talk to anyone.

She filled her tub with hot water. She brushed her hair up into a messy bun, she removed her clothes, went inside and hissed at the pain but loved it. She settled down and tried not to think about Zuko between her legs. How his scent filled her senses and made her forget her problems for several minutes.

She buried herself in the water until it just under her nose. What was she supposed to do? Just forgive and forget?

And she was right. Zuko had a lot of things to fix still and to add a relationship on top of that would be unfair to him. She missed him, too. So much. She missed waking up with him in the mornings. Having breakfast with him. Holding him.

Xia rubbed her neck and groaned.

One would think after saving the world, it would get easier. Life. After spending 100 years in an iceberg, learning her entire race was killed, and keeping the world from complete tyranny, she hoped she would have an easier life.

After her bath she did her meditation. In her meditation the large blue wolf returned. But then she felt the presence of a more powerful spirt. Before she could figure out who or what it was, her body jolted her awake for some reason.

It happened every time she tried to meditate lately. Being connected with spirits was both helpful and useless. Her ‘visions’ were not as clear, but she didn’t feel like this was a bad thing. She just knew something was coming. Change. In a good way.

**

Almost a week after the meeting with Yu Dao, she was with the Earth King. They were finalizing the agreement to hand over the land of the Yu Dao over to the selected officials, as soon as they had one. 

“You are a natural leader,” King Kuei complimented Xia as she organized her scrolls.

Xia smiled warmly at the King. “Thank you. I think it helps being the eldest child. I always had to make the hard decisions and stuff.”

“I—uh—hope I’m not being too forward, but were you not dating the Fire Lord?” he stammered with most of his words.

She pursed her lips but softened them. “I was. We…are not together. He has a lot on his plate and things took its course, I think.”

King Kuei took a step towards her and she noticed the blush across his face. She wished she had been able to figure out sooner why he kept looking at her all throughout the meeting. Now it seemed too late.

“I am advised to finally marry and start my family,” he took her hand and before he could say anything else, they were interrupted by one his people.

“Apologies, I have a letter for Lady Xia,” the servant bowed and held out a letter.

It was faced down, so she could see the seal of the Fire Lord on the back. It was from Zuko. She took her hand back from the King and retrieved the letter. She opened it to distract herself from going further with a conversation she feared she knew where it was going.

She read the letter quickly. It was Zuko asking for her help with something of utmost importance. Normally she would hesitate, but she didn’t want to continue the conversation with the King.

“Fire Lord Zuko has summoned me for an important mission. I am afraid I have to leave immediately. Since the draft of the deal is basically done. I should be able leave for a few days,” she chuckled nervously and before the King could speak again, she left.

Once back in her home, she placed a hand over her chest. Did she imagine that? Or was the King about to ask her to marry him? No. He wouldn’t…but the way he looked at her and she could admit she had overlooked some of the gifts he had sent her and thought he was just being a good boss.

The next meeting was going to be awkward.

She took out the letter from Zuko. His words were sincere in his need for her help. She couldn’t say no to him. She changed her clothes back to her air nomad ones. She got her staff and that was all she needed for her journey to the Fire Nation.


	15. Psychopath

Xia arrived at the port just before noon. She left her ship and immediately there was a carriage to take her to the palace. She wanted to refuse, but she’d hate to make the people go back to the palace when they made their way to the port already. She got on and she smiled when she saw some changes around the village. Some of the projects that she started were underway.

She was dropped off at the entrance and there was a shadow over her, and she looked up and saw Appa. She didn’t know he asked the others to come. Appa landed in front of her. The bison came over to her and licked her face. She laughed and hugged him back.

She rested her forehead on him. “Missed you so much, buddy.”

“XIA!” Aang jumped off. He was about to hug her when she took a step back and he stopped. His smile dropped and he chuckled nervously. “Uh—hi…”

“Hi,” she replied and bit her bottom lip. She felt bad for making Aang feel bad. But she still couldn’t let it go that Aang lied to her for a year.

Katara and Sokka also got down and they could see the awkward tension between the last two airbenders in the world.

“H-hi, Xia,” Katara hugged the nomad and Xia hugged her back.

Sokka also hugged her. “You guys gonna…fight like this forever?”

“I really am sorry about not telling you—” Aang started but she didn’t want to hear it.

“Let’s go see what Zuko wants. It must be important,” she walked past them and towards the palace. Yes, maybe she was being a bit immature trying to avoid talking about it. But at the moment, she just needed to focus on anything else.

At the entrance of the Fire Lord room, someone walked out.

“Iroh!” Xia squeezed tightly the older man.

He laughed. “Oh, Xia, it’s so good to see you. How are you?”

“I am doing great. Thank you.”

She pulled back from the embrace and Iroh lifted the curtain. “Zuko, your friends have arrived!” They followed Iroh into the room where Zuko stood in the middle.

Aang walked up to Zuko. “Thank you for inviting to your home, your fieriness! We’ve been out touch for much too long!” He bowed his head.

“It’s been only a week,” Zuko chuckled at Aang’s overly formality. “Where’s Toph?”

“She had to stay at the academ,” Sokka said. “Now that folks have seen the Lily Livers—I mean her students in action, everyone and their mother wants to be a metalbender. Even Yu Dao Police Chief went to visit her!” Sokka informed them, but Xia was well aware of that.

“We came as soon as we received your message. What’s this about?” Katara asked.

Zuko turned to Xia with hope in them. “I recently obtained some new information about Ursa, my mother. It turns out she’s from a small called Hira’a on the outskirts of the Fire Nation. I’m going there to look for her.”

“Zuko, that’s wonderful news,” Xia got closer unable to help herself and took his hands and squeezed them. “I know you’ve been wanting to find out what happened after she left.”

“Uncle Iroh’s agreed to watch over things here while I’m gone.”

“May you find who—and what—you are searching for, my nephew,” Iroh bowed his head politely.

“That’s great, Zuko!” Aang said. “But it sounds like you’ve got everything covered…”

“…So why do you need us?” Katara wondered.

Zuko squeezed Xia’s hands and looked directly into her eyes. “The information about my mother came at a cost. You see—”

Over his shoulder the curtain moved and from the shadows out walked Azula. Xia instinctively pulled Zuko forward towards her and placed him behind her.

“Zuko, watch out!” Aang cried out.

Katara immediately bended some water. “How did you escape, Azula?!”

“Katara, wait!” Zuko moved from behind Xia and went between his sister and her.

It brought back flashbacks to Xia about the time in the cave. She shook her head to get the memories out of her head. But Katara sent ice daggers that Azula dodged.

“Stay back! We don’t want to hurt you!” Aang had a ball of air between his hands.

“Speak for yourself, Aang,” Sokka growled his boomerang in his hand ready to fight.

“HA! HA! Ignorant peasant! You really think you can take me on with a boomerang?” Azula laughed.

“Let’s find out!” Sokka growled.

“Sokka, stop! Let Zuko explain!” Suki came from behind the curtain as well. The couple embraced each other.

Xia turned to her ex-boyfriend with a glare. “Well? Explain.” She folded her arms across her chest. She could feel Azula’s smug smirk, but she worked hard to ignore the psycho.

“Azula was the one who got the information from Ozai. Because she helped me out, we made a deal. She’s going to come with me to look for our mother. And she’s going to travel unbound and with dignity.”

Xia finally turned her eyes to Azula. Her golden eyes had always had a shadow. Something that gave her the chills and made her realize that Azula wasn’t all there. One thing for sure was that Azula couldn’t be trusted.

“No offense but that sounds like the worst idea ever,” Xia made her opinion known.

“I want you to come with us,” Zuko approached Xia. His eyes pleaded with her in a new way. There was clarity in his eyes. He didn’t come to this decision lightly. She could tell that much.

“Oooh! Oooh! New nick name for Zuko! How about Bad Decision Lord?” Sokka teased.

“Ever since my nephew ascended to the throne, he has yearned for peace. Finding Ursa may being that peace. And not just for himself,” Iroh placed a hand on Xia’s shoulder. “I know you understand, Xia, what I mean. You’ve seen what I’ve seen in Zuko and you know he needs this.” He dropped his hand.

She turned back to Zuko and nodded her head. “Okay. We will help _you_.” She turned to Azula and she lifted her chin and her eyebrow twitched. “If you so much as breathe the wrong way, I will make sure you never see the light of day. Got it?”

Azula grinned. “Someone seems to have grown some balls. How’s that head of yours? Still having nightmares?”

“Azula!” Zuko hissed.

“When do we start?” Xia turned her back to Azula and faced Zuko.

“In the morning. I’ve prepared rooms for everyone for the night. Dinner will be served at six,” he replied.

“I’d like to go to my room, please.”

**

The female air nomad laid on the bed on her side with her hands tucked underneath her cheek and faced the window. It felt weird being back. She once felt comfortable in this place and now it felt foreign. After a quick nap, she got up and stretched. She couldn’t believe that she was going to have to work with one of the people responsible for the worst time of her life. The person who suggested to use her in the vilest way possible. But helping Zuko find his mom was important. She recalled hearing him talk about his mom and how his eyes would light up.

She sounded like a caring mother. She also saw the painting of her.

__

_“Wow, she’s soooo beautiful,” Xia approached the painting of Zuko’s mom and a five-year-old Zuko. “Look at you so cute! I just wanna squish your cheeks.” She laughed._

_Zuko chuckled behind her with pink cheeks, but his smile dropped. “I think about that night a lot. Especially lately,” he sighed dejectedly. Xia faced Zuko and hated to see his sad eyes._

_She went over to him and placed her hands over his cheeks. “Say the word and we can try to find her.”_

_He flinched and lowered his head. “I’m scared. What if…she’s really dead?” tears fell down his face and she wiped them away._

_“I will be there for you for whatever answer is out there.”_

_He cleared his throat and placed his hands over hers and nuzzled them. He kissed her palm and lowered her hands. “I’ve only just become Fire Lord. There is much to do. Plus, the only person who knows about her whereabouts is my father.”_

_“Okay then. We will take our time, but just tell me when and I’ll be there for you,” she pecked his lips and smiled._

_“I love you so much,” he whispered and kissed her, slowly. It stole her breath away. His hands cupped her face and he kept her still as he kissed her at a pace that suited him._

Xia did promise that when the time came she would help. She was keeping her promise and if that meant working with his psychopath sister then she had to do it.

The topic of parents was definitely touchy for Xia. Air nomads had families and she have glimmer of memories of her mother and father. But once Aang was found out to be the Avatar everything changed. They were taken away from their parents and raised by Master Gyatso.

Her father figure. The one who would tell her to take care of herself as well. That being Aang’s sister didn’t mean she would have to throw away her own life. At the time, she didn’t understand what he meant because she didn’t think of training hard to protect her little brother as throwing her life away. She wanted to be the best sister. It wasn’t often siblings in the nomads were allowed to grow up together. She wanted to remain by her brother’s side at whatever cost.

It was why she fled with him that night. She gave up so much to be with him. She gives and gives and yet…he kept that secret from her?

Tears fall down her face. Maybe that was why she wasn’t able to forgive him so easily. After everything she went through for him, he hid that from her.

Xia was very forgiving in the past. She let a lot of things go. She didn’t want to be stepped on anymore. Overlooked.

‘Oh well, she’ll forgive me.’

Is that what they thought of her?

Xia made her way to the garden needing to distract herself and sat underneath the tree near the pond. The turtleducks approached her remembering that she fed them. She smiled as they quacked at her.

“I’m sorry guys. I forgot—” Suddenly there were crumbs on the floor. Her eyes went up to see Zuko in his normal clothes even his hair was down.

He sat down next to her and offered her the bag of crumbs for her. She smiled and took it from him. She threw some of the crumbs at the turtleducks and they watched as they all gathered around to eat.

“I can’t express how thankful I am you came,” he spoke gently. “I know that having Azula come is…isn’t something you want. I tried to find—”

“Zuko,” she turned to him with a soft smile and she placed her hand on top of his, her grey eyes steady on his golden ones, “I know. I know you must have tried to find for another way. I get that this is the only way and Azula also wants to find answers. Family is and has always been complicated.”

“Thank you for understanding. I promise if she tries anything with you, I’ll take her down myself,” he promised.

She took her hand back and nodded. There was a long silence between them, but it was a comfortable one. They fed the creatures together for a long while.

“How is the King treating you? You work a lot?” Zuko tried to small talk.

She sighed and nodded her head. “The King is good. He is kind and really wants to help his people now.”

“The school project you started is well underway. The new textbooks have been printed are about to go to the schools across the Fire Nation. It’ll have the accurate history events. The good and the bad,” he told her.

She grinned. “I am happy about that. What about the well for the village that needed one?”

“It’s been working so well. The village is flourishing, and a lot of the children write to you,” he scratched the back of his neck. “I’ve saved them all for you. I know you liked to read the letters and keep the drawings sent to you.”

Xia blushed and pursed her lips. She wasn’t aware he knew that about her. “Thank you. Yes, I’d love to read those letters.”

“I hope we can one day…” he started but then he shook his head. “Let’s go get ready for dinner.” He stood up and held out his hand to her. She took his offer and got up with his help. “Uh—Aang mentioned that you two are still not talking. Look, he’s your brother and I made him promise not to say anything to you. He needs you, Xia.”

Xia snatched her hand back as rage quickly took over. “Zuko, you know nothing about shit. You’re the last person I’d take advise about siblings.” Those words left her mouth before she could stop them, and she immediately regretted them.

“Oh, okay,” he took several steps back with tears in his eyes. “I get it. You’re right…I just…wanted to help.”

She opened her mouth to apologize, but Zuko briskly walked away and she groaned and stomped her foot. The trees and ground around her shook from her power outburst. Now she was the bad guy. She did something nasty.

Dinner was awkward, to say the least.

Katara and Sokka looked at Xia and Aang with worried expressions. Zuko kept his eyes down and ate his food in silence. Iroh and Suki sensed the tension and also ate their food in silence. Xia couldn’t take it and excused herself when she wasn’t even done, but she really couldn’t take another bite.

She retired back to her room and went face down on the bed. When did things get so complicated? She wished things were how they were. But at the same time, she understood that true change meant shaking every part of one’s life. The good would stay and the bad would go away.

She begged her brain to fall asleep. The last thing she wanted was to think.

Her body seemed to catch up and she fell asleep.

**

“We made a deal, Azula! If we’re going to do this together you have to stay calm!” Zuko had his sister’s wrist in a tight grip.

“Keep your merry band of misfits in check and we’ll all get along fine,” Azula spat back.

“I changed my mind,” Sokka rubbed the back of his head. “One of you can take first watch.”

Xia approached the group with her bag. She came just as the commotion was happening. All eyes turned to her she waved at them and then went to greet Appa. “Good morning, handsome,” she hugged him, and he nuzzled closer to her. “Thank you for the ride. When we get back, I’ll make sure to get you some good treats.”

She jumped on the saddle and put her bag away. Everyone else got on and soon they were up in the air. She lifted her hands over her head and enjoyed the feeling of the wind. As she closed her eyes, she concentrated on just the moment.

“Just like old times, isn’t it?” Sokka sat down next to Xia.

She opened her eyes and placed her arms down and nodded her head.

“Even better than old times!” Aang said from Appa’s head the reins in his hands and Katara beside him. “Before I always wanted to kiss Katara and now I actually get to do it!”

“Aw, sweetie!” Katara giggled and then the couple kissed.

Sokka rolled his eyes and made a face of disgust. “I for one could do without that part.”

Xia chuckled and shoved his shoulder. “It must suck to be the third wheel all the time. Too bad Toph couldn’t be here. I do miss her sarcasm.”

“Well, instead of Toph, now we have…” Aang looked over to Azula who sat towards the back of the saddle with Zuko beside her.

Xia felt a shift in Azula’s attitude. Her eyes went blank and filled with rage.

“So, tell me, kids. I’ve been dying to know. Which of you miscreants did she approach first?” 

Xia gave her a confused look and turned to Zuko with a warning look.

“What are you talking about?” Katara asked.

“None of you had even met me yet! How did she convince you to help her ruin my life?!” Azula shouted and got to her knees.

“That’s enough, Azula!” Zuko put his fist up and steam left his hand with a ‘sssss’. Just as quickly as it came the crazed look in her eyes left.

“Put that away, Zuzu. It’s just small talk,” Azula went back to her original position. “So, why aren’t you with your precious girl?” she nodded her head towards Xia. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you two don’t sit together. Don’t talk to each other.”

“It’s really none of your fucking business,” Xia said through her teeth. “I will keep my promise, Azula. Shut the fuck up.”

Everyone stayed in silence since it wasn’t like Xia to curse so much. Every now and then sure, but not that many times. They all went back to silence.

When the sun was setting, Xia stared out to the west. Her eyes went down to the map and then she folded it close and placed it in her back pocket.

“We should be near the village, but I don’t think we’re going to make it before dark. We should set up camp,” she informed them.

“Good point,” Sokka agreed. “Hey Aang—Ahh!”

Xia shifted her focus to her brother only to see an angry expression she had never seen before.

“What, it’s not enough that have one passenger who stares at us with crazy eyes?!”

“What’s with your face?” she moved closer to him. Her sisterly instinct took over.

“I don’t know…but I can’t help it! There’s something out there…some kind of spirit. I can feel its presence, especially in my face.”

Xia released a long breath and tried to reach out to the spirits around. And she felt a shiver down her spine when a familiar feeling bloomed in her chest.

“The wolf…big, blue one,” Xia muttered. “Red eyes.”

Aang looked over the edge. “Whoa! Xia, how did you know? You see the spirit too?”

“I’ve had a reoccurring dream about it. I thought I was just visiting the spirit world but—”

“Azula, get down from there!” Zuko shouted.

They all turned to see Azula ready to jump out.

“I can’t tell you what a pleasure it’s been riding with you all, listening to you bicker. Too bad not all siblings get along as well as Zuzu and me! Now that Hira’a is just a hop, skip and jump away, it’s time to bid farewell. I’ll be sure to give her your regards!” That crazed, blank look returned to her eyes. Azula winked at Xia and then jumped.


	16. Past

“NO, AZULA! WE’RE TOO HIGH UP!” Zuko yelled at his sister.

Xia released a sigh and found herself grabbing her staff; she also jumped off into the air. At first, she didn’t expand the wings because she needed to catch up to Azula, once she felt it was the right time, she opened the wings and then with her right arm she caught Azula around her waist.

“I GOT HER!” Xia yelled to the others.

Azula turned her head with a smirk on her face. “You must feel like a saint saving the person who took you hostage without hesitation. Sure hope your little glider is fireproof.” She lifted her hand and lit one of the wings on fire.

“AZULA!” Xia growled, but the damage was done and they were still high in the air. 

The Princess deemed fit to also use lightning since Xia still hadn’t released her. After being zapped, Xia lost hold on Azula and released her and while Azula landed safely on her feet. Xia didn’t have enough time and landed harshly on the ground and her side hit a rock.

The pain shot through her body and caused her to gasp, luckily, she was able to cover her head in time. Dust covered her as she tried to gasp for air, so she would cough up.

“Xia!” Zuko’s voice made her open her eyes. He was running towards her.

“GO! After…her!” she shouted and pointed in the direction Azula took off and it was nice to see the hesitation in his eyes, but she waved her hand like she was okay.

“You guys go make sure Xia’s okay! I’ll go after Azula!”

Katara was soon at her side. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I just fell about fifty feet on this soft cushion of dirt!” Xia replied sarcastically.

“All right, smarty pants,” Katara rolled her eyes. “I guess you’re fine if you can make jokes.”

“Can you stand?” Aang seemed to hold back and she appreciated the space he was giving her.

Xia bit her lip but nodded her head lying about it.

“Come on, Miss Made of Steel,” Sokka held out his hand and helped her up.

She bit back her cry of pain that made all of her nerve endings scream in anguish. She most definitely had a broken rib maybe more than one. But Katara could heal her later.

“Let’s help Zuko,” she told them she took a step but winced in pain.

“Are you sure you can stand?” Aang was immediately at her side.

“Do you need me to heal you?” Katara stood in front of her.

“I’m fine, let’s go help Zuko.”

Aang handed her, her staff to help her stand as they made way to where Zuko and Azula went off to. She could hear Azula yelling. Aang continued to stay at her side.

“But now that we’re so close to Hira’a I don’t really need you anymore!” Azula stood on the other side of a small river.

“Please…” Zuko’s voice sounded sad and even though all she could see was his back, she could picture his face. “I don’t want to do this.”

“I got this,” Katara told them as she took off running to get closer and Sokka ran close behind her. “Out of the way, Zuko!” She bended some water from the small river and immediately immobilized Azula by creating a strait jacket made of ice around the Princess, who tipped over because of the weight of it and fell to the floor.

Zuko went to Xia’s side. “Are you hurt?” his eyes examined her body.

She did a good job and concealing what hurt. “I’m not made of glass. I’m good.”

“I don’t appreciate you trying to set my sister-in-law on fire,” Katara told Azula.

“Uh, Aang, you okay dude?” Sokka asked.

Xia turned to her brother and saw that he was making a face again. She turned behind her to where Sokka was and it was one thing to see it in her dreams, but in real life…it was amazing, the large blue wolf stood behind Sokka.

“Hey…that fear in your eyes…so you’ve finally learned to respect the power of Mr. Boomerang!” he waved his weapon over his head with a grin. Slowly he seemed to notice they weren’t looking at him, but over him or more like behind him. He turned his head slowly and released a really girly scream as the wolf tried to chop off his head but dodged it.

“The wolf spirit must’ve left the spirit world for a good reason!” Aang explained. “So please, everybody be respectful!”

“Respectful? Your spirit just tried to eat my head!” Sokka shouted.

“Those markings on its belly they look sort of like a face!” Zuko pointed out.

“It’s the face Aang has been making,” Xia added.

“You’re right…I think I get it now,” Aang nodded at his sister and Xia smiled. Once again, they were on the same page again, at least for a moment. It felt like old times. Aang returned his attention to the spirit. “Stop, big giant wolf spirit! Listen to me! I felt your presence earlier, see? Just like the design on your fur!” He got closer to the wolf. “I knew you were near because I’m the Avatar, the great bridge between the spirits and the humans! And my sister—” he pointed to her and Xia waved awkwardly. “She dreamt about you.” The wolf’s eyes went to her and then went back to her brother “My friends and I were traveling to the town of Hira’a when one of us decided to go on her own,” Aang gestured to the captured Azula. “If we’ve disturbed you, please accept our apologies.”

The wolf seemed to take in his words, but then attacked Aang.

“Aang!” Xia shouted and she forgot all about her injuries and went to help her brother. She waved her glider causing a gust of wind to pick up dirt towards the wolf, but the movement proved to be too much and collapsed to her knees in pain and even though it did distract the wolf, it didn’t work for long.

Also, the world started to spin for her. Her breathing didn’t seem to work anymore. It didn’t matter how big her gulps of air were nothing seemed to work. She started to see black spots and the last thing she saw was Zuko’s face as she felt the world go black.

**

__

_“Wake up, my child,” Gyatso said but with a light chuckle. “You were always so hard to wake up.”_

_“Hmm, five more minutes,” Xia groaned as the heaviness of sleep filled her body and her mind felt muddled. Last night she stayed up too late with Aang telling scary stories to each other._

_“Xia, of the Sothern Air Temple, why have you summoned me?”_

_She snapped open her eyes when she realized that voice did not belong to Gyatso and she realized she wasn’t in the Southern Air Temple. Everything seemed to catch up with her at once. She sat up and at first, she thought she would feel pain, but when she looked down at herself, she looked brand new. No tethered clothes or dirty._

_Her heart ached knowing that she had yet again imagined she was back **home**. When would those dreams stop?_

_She was back to where she used to see the large blue wolf, but this time it wasn’t around. The pond was different too. It seemed to have masks all over it. All different kinds as well. Then came that sensation that there was a powerful spirit._

_“I will not ask again, Xia of the Southern Air Temple, why have you summoned me?”_

_The air bender stood up and found out that the voice was coming from the body of water in front of her. “I…I…I’m not sure how…or why…I did that.” How could she call upon such a powerful spirit? That sounded like something only Aang could do. She wasn’t the Avatar. She wasn’t anybody._

_“Hmph…you still resist.”_

_“Resist?”_

_“When was the last time you astral projected? Or visited the spirit world?”_

_Xia blushed because she knew the last time she used it. It was before the fall of Ba Sing Se. It was before her mind was destroyed. She couldn’t admit that no matter how much she meditated; she couldn’t bring herself to be like how she was before. Gyatso told her she wouldn’t be the same that day on the beach and she tried to accept that, but it seemed she still wanted to return to that person._

_She found herself crying because being connected to the spirit world was her thing. When she wasn’t able to bend, she was able to see the spirits that roamed. It was her thing. She was believed to have a strong connection to spirit world, and she was trained to go in and out of it. It was why her visions always came true. But without it, who was she? What did she contribute?_

_“You are still on your journey to find yourself,” the spirit continued to speak. “You have much to learn, but the spirit world is waiting for you. You will find your way back.”_

_“Why are you helping me?”_

_“Because you are needed for what is coming ahead…don’t you feel it? The shift? The convergence?”_

__

“Get your hands off her, Azula!” Sokka’s voice boomed.

Xia fluttered her eyes open and gasped for air. She looked up at the blue sky and thought about her vision or maybe a dream. Convergence? And what was that spirit speaking to her? It somehow felt connected to the wolf. 

She felt something on her forehead, and she moved her hand up to remove the rag that been laid on it. She also pushed aside the blanket that was over her and sat up.

Appa seemed to have slept next to her and he turned to her and licked her face.

She laughed and hugged his large nose. “Hey, buddy.” He seemed to say he was happy that she was okay. “I’m all right, buddy. It’s going to take a lot more than a few broken ribs to kill me.

“Holy shit!” Sokka’s screaming was legit, so Xia released Appa and stood up the pain on her side wasn’t as much. Katara must have healed most of her wounds, but it was still sore. Appa moved out of her way to reveal that the camp the guys have made was on fire.

Her eyes widened but was not surprised to see that it was blue flames. This seemed like a good time to prove a theory she had. She held out her hands towards the flames and reached out for the oxygen that seemed to be made up of and willed it to reduce. Like calming a wild animal. It had only been a theory she had thought of when reading at the library of Ba Sing Se and she had tested it out on some candles.

When the flames reduced Sokka and Katara were on the other side amazed and when their brains connected that it was her, they broke into grins.

“You’re awake!” Katara rushed to her and wrapped her arms around her.

“Oof!” Xia groaned.

“Oh! I’m so sorry, does it still hurt?” Katara pulled back. “I healed as much as I could, but I mainly concentrated on your ruptured lung!” She smacked Xia’s arm. “Why didn’t you say you were in severe pain?! If I hadn’t caught it, you could have died!”

Xia chuckled a bit but obviously humorlessly. “I thought it was just a broken rib.”

“You had such a high fever…we almost went back,” Sokka told her. “Zuko said if your fever didn’t get better that we would call it off and get you to a doctor.”

“Aang stayed at your side most of the time,” Katara added sheepishly.

“I’m flattered,” she smiled. “But I’ve survived worse, right? Now…Azula went off from what I can see, but where are Zuko and Aan—” But she looked over their shoulders and saw her brother returning. For the first time, she didn’t feel that pang of betrayal when seeing him. She felt happy to see him. She went between Sokka and Katara to get to her brother.

Aang smiled widely at the sight of her. “You’re okay!”

Xia pulled in her little brother for a tight embrace. He didn’t hesitate to return it. “I’m not angry. Hurt, yes, but it has nothing to do with you,” she whispered to him. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Aang’s voice broke as he cried into her shoulder. “I always seem to forget how much you’ve sacrificed.”

“And I’d do it over and over, Aang because I love you. Not because I was told to protect you, but because I love you.”

“I lo—love you too,” he returned.

“Um, glad you guys are making up…” Sokka laughed. “But half of the camp is still on fire!”

The last two air benders laughed and pulled away from each other. Once again Xia was able to look Aang in the eyes and it felt so comforting. She meant what she said. A part of her was holding herself back because she couldn’t let go of the past. She was still living in it and that had created a wall between her and the new person she was meant to be. 

**

Zuko and Azula returned just as Xia, Aang and Katara finished putting out the last of the fires. Once the Fire Lord saw her, he jogged to her side. 

“I’m fine. Please don’t ask if I’m hurt because I think I’ve hea—” she was silenced by his lips. He cupped her face with his hands and kissed her as if it would be the last kiss he’d ever get. She was caught off guard and he left no time for her to react because he pulled back and pressed his forehead against hers. She found herself panting and it wasn’t because it was still a little hard to breathe with her healing lung.

“I was so worried,” he murmured only for her.

Their eyes connected and she was reminded just how golden his eyes were.

Her eyes softened and warmed up. “Heard you were going to call off the search for me,” she frowned. “Zuko—”

“I have something to tell you…if…” his eyes went to his left where everyone else seemed to stare at them. He pulled back. “Uh…we’ll be back, I gotta tell Xia something.”

Before anyone could object—which no one did—Zuko took her hand and dragged her away from everyone. He held her hand as they walked through the forest until they were out of earshot from everyone.

“What is it?” she asked worriedly. Normally he didn’t mind if others heard.

Zuko faced her and continued to hold her hand and he reached for her other one and held them between them.

“If I wasn’t Fire Lord, would you get back with me?” he asked.

She furrowed her eyebrows and studied his face to find that he was serious. “What do you mean?”

He licked his lips and then told her everything that happened. How he found the letter in Azula’s boot that his mom wrote to her lover before she married his father—who might not be his father at all. Therefore, he had no right to claim the throne.

“That…is a lot to pack in,” she nodded her head. She removed her hands from his only to hold his face. “Are **you** okay with what you’ve found out?” She couldn’t imagine what he was going through. To find out the man he considered a father, wasn’t his father. Not only that but the things he did to please him. But her thoughts quickly connected things. “Zuko, if you’re not Fire Lord, the throne would go to your sister.”

“Being Fire Lord has only taken away the one thing I love in this world,” he kissed the inside of her hand.

“And you’d leave your people in the palms of your sister?” she shook her head and pleaded with her eyes. “I know you care for the Fire Nation, Zuko. Look…let’s focus on one thing at a time. We will…talk about this later. Let’s find your mom first, okay?”

Zuko said nothing but nodded his head. He dipped his head down to capture her lips once more. This time she returned the kiss with the same passion. She feared that Zuko was determined to leave the throne, but she would convince him otherwise. She truly believed he is going to be a great leader for his people and peace and prosperity could only happen with him at the throne. It was something bigger than their love. The future of the world depended on making sure Zuko remained Fire Lord even if it cost her, her happiness.


	17. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for any mistakes. I wrote this rather quickly and I'm too lazy to edit.

The gang arrived at the town and Appa flew down somewhere he could be hidden. They decided that it was best to change into Fire Nation clothing to blend it and to also avoid being mugged or kidnapped. Aang mentioned that they were experts at disguises since they spent so many months avoiding Zuko. He put on a headband that only concealed his arrow but not the rest of it.

Katara mentioned that and giggled and Xia followed.

Aang turned to his older sister. “You making fun of my bald head? What about when it’s time to get your tattoos? You’ll be bald.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m not attached to my hair. You’re very confident I’ll get them. I still haven’t mastered all of the techniques.”

“That’s because you haven’t really devoted yourself to air bending,” he pointed out.

Xia felt the eyes of everyone on her. She bit her bottom lip and turned away in shame. She knew that. She was very well aware why she was avoiding it. Azula grinned but remained silent.

“Let’s just go,” Xia began to walk and led the group towards the town.

Just as they entered the town it was clear that it wasn’t a small one anymore. There was a large crowd gathered around a stage.

“I wonder what kind of play it is?” Aang wondered.

“From the looks of it, it’s probably Love Amongst the Dragons. Looks like they’re at the part of the final battle,” Xia replied.

Zuko grinned proudly. “I shouldn’t be surprised you know of it. It’s…one I mentioned to you that my mother would tell me.”

“Yes, you mentioned you used one of the masks from the play when you were the ‘Blue Spirit’,” Xia blushed as she looked at Zuko with sparkle in them.

“Mother used to make us watch this play at Ember Island,” Zuko smiled fondly. “Azula and I would then go to the beach and reenact the final battle,” he turned to his sister who was to his right. “I was always the dark water spirit though.”

“Clearly, I made a better dragon emperor,” Azula said.

“Ahhh!” The old couple in front of them turned to Azula with his finger to his lips. “The best part is coming up!”

“How dare you shush me! Do you know who I—”

“Azula, please!” Zuko pleaded and grabbed his sister’s arm to hold her back.

Xia took her eyes off the siblings and turned to the stage. It was her favorite part as well. When she read the play, she would re-read this part over and over again.

“Though I was trapped in the body of a mortal you willingly gave me your heart!” The dragon emperor told his lover. “I cannot help but give you mine in return!”

“Only with your glory hidden in false form could finally recognize my devotion!”

The actors ‘kissed’ and the crowd went wild and started to applaud them. Xia joined in. She kinda wished she could see the play from the beginning, but she was happy she got to see this part. With the play ending, the crowd started to disperse.

“Everyone is leaving, what do we do?” Aang asked.

“Start asking around,” Xia collected herself and resumed her role as leader. “Start asking the older people since they’ve been around the longest.”

Zuko only got to ask one older couple who didn’t recall anyone named Ursa. Then a man in a Blue Spirit mask crept up behind Katara and Sokka. He introduced himself as Noren and he was the director of the play. He overheard them asking about Ursa. He said she used to be a member of the acting troupe.

The older couple seemed to quickly put the dots together. “That’s right!” The older woman said. “ She always wanted to play the Dragon Empress, but never got the chance didn’t she—?”

“We should find a quiet place to talk. Away from the crowd,” Noren chuckled nervously after interrupting the older woman. “You’re all welcome to come to my home. We’re share some tea and I’ll tell you everything I know.”

Xia found it suspicious that the man was insisting on pulling them away from the people who probably have answers, but she didn’t get any bad feelings from the man. Usually, her gut would tell her if the person was really bad, but she didn’t get that energy from him. His aura was calming and even though he acted a tad skittish, something told her to trust him.

Zuko turned to her to seek her approval. She gave him a short nod and then he turned back to the man. “It would be an honor, thank you,” he bowed his head in respect.

The home wasn’t that far. It was a decent home. They took off their shoes at the entrance of the home. Noren led them to the common area where there was a small round table. They was a woman who had the kindest face and was not shocked to see them.

Noren introduced her as his wife, Noriko.

Xia loved the woman’s aura. It was one of a loving mother. So, it wasn’t a surprise when Xia noticed some toys laying around. Xia sat on the small around table with Aang and Katara. Zuko and Azula sat by the sliding door that led to a backyard.

Noriko started to make the tea and they started to have the normal small talk conversations.

Noren and Noriko had been married for almost five years now. Katara mentioned how it must be nice to be with the one you love. Noriko agreed but then mentioned that she was far too young to be talking about marriage. Aang and Katara both blushed immediately. Xia giggled at the sight of the flustered couple.

“You know what? I take that back. Love leads where love leads, regardless of age,” Noriko’s words rung true to Xia. Her eyes went across the room to Zuko who was now talking to the child of the older couple. “Noren and I found each other pretty late in our lives. Young lovers like you are lucky.” She beamed.

The female air bender watched as Zuko interacted with Kiyi. It was so adorable. He would make a great father. Her eyes widened as that thought sunk into her brain. Did she just picture herself having Zuko’s children? She did. She honestly didn’t think she would live long enough to settle down. She’s had so many close calls.

Sokka and Noren returned with the tea cups and some food.

Xia moved to where Azula and Zuko were since she would just be in the way. Azula just scared Kiyi by telling her that she used to give her dolls ‘headcuts’ instead of ‘haircuts’.

“Clearly your psychopathic tendencies were already there as a child,” Xia muttered and then turned to the little girl with the warmest expression possible. “I think the haircut is adorable.”

Kiyi’s aura was so bright it was almost blinding. Xia found that children with good parents tended to burn the brightest and she wished she would see it more often. Not only Kiyi, but as soon as Noren entered the room Noriko’s aura also burned bright. Xia watched as the husband sat down and kissed his wife on the cheek. Their aura’s merged together to create a beautiful color.

It made her a bit jealous to see two people truly love each other. She knew her love for Zuko was the same, but there always seemed to be something in the way for them. Was it truly meant to be? Why did it have to be so hard? Noren and Noriko made it seem so simple. They found each other, fell in love and started their family. No fighting. No defeating evil. No being held hostage. No lies. No deceit.

“I must admit, I was a little suspicious when you all started asking about Ursa. But Sokka tells me you’re drama historians,” Noren said.

“How wonderful!” Noriko gasped. “It’s about time the Hira’a acting troupe got a little recognition.”

Xia often wondered how Sokka could come up with such lies so quickly. She could admit it wasn’t a bad cover.

“Ursa, the woman you asked about, was probably the troupe’s most famous member—but not for her acting. Years ago, she was…well… **taken** to the capital city on some sort official business,” the tone that Noren used put Xia on edge. He sounded like he took it personally. “We’re not supposed to talk about her anymore, but people can’t help speculating.”

“Supposedly she married into the royal family. This all happened before I came to town, but even I’ve heard the rumors,” Noriko added.

Xia planned to ask where she was from, but then Zuko asked about Ikem. The lover that was maybe his father.

“Ikem…my, you’ve really done your research!” Noren chuckled nervously like he had done so when the older couple was about to tell them about Ursa. “Ikem was an actor, too. Ursa’s boyfriend, I believe. He disappeared shortly after Ursa left.”

“Folks say he ran off to Forgetful Valley,” his wife chimed in.

“Forgetful valley?” Aang questioned.

“A forest at the bottom of the canyon, just outside of town. The heartbroken go there to forget their lives. You know I vaguely remember hearing that Ursa came back to town years later, looking for Ikem. They say she went after him to Forgetful Valley,” Noriko told them.

“That can’t be true,” her husband shook his head. “No one’s seen or heard from Ursa since she was taken to the capital city!”

Noriko sighed. “Well, if it’s true it’s awfully romantic.”

“Romantic or tragic? Forgetful Valley is a dark, dangerous place. No one who enters ever returns,” Noren retorted.

Xia reached for Zuko’s hand showing her support. He accepted her hand and gave her a sad smile. After tea and eating some good food it was time to go. They went to the front of the house and put their shoes back on. Kiyi grabbed Xia’s shirt and tugged it to get her attention.

“Yes?” she asked.

“Will you come back and play dolls with me?” her light eyes reminded her of Zuko’s portrait of when he was a child. The similarities were there.

“I would love that Hopefully we can come back soon,” Xia grabbed her small hand. “I promise. And I never break a promise.”

Kiyi grinned and then turned to Zuko. “You too!”

Zuko smiled warmly and nodded his head. “Okay.”

For some reason it was hard for Xia to leave the home. She watched as the family stayed outside and watched them leave. But something itched in the back of Xia’s head like she was forgetting something. Something important and it was right there, but she just couldn’t put it together. It was infuriating, but Zuko took her hand and her brain settled. They walked back together hand in hand.

Right, she needed to support Zuko. They had some leads, but nothing concrete. Once they were close to Appa and Momo, Azula mentioned how she didn’t burn the house down for ‘Zuzu’.

“Jealous of seeing an actual family?” Xia teased and looked over her shoulder to see the Princess glare daggers at her.

“No one is that happy.”

“Aang and I are that happy,” Katara growled.

“Because you two are idiots,” Azula replied.

“Hey Zuko,” Aang called out.

Zuko and Xia dropped their holdings hands and turned to him.

“I’m sorry I blew up at you this morning. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around all this—I can’t imagine what it’s like for you,” Aang clearly had something to say that Zuko wasn’t going to like. “Even so, I don’t think we should try to fine Ikem. This is gonna sound harsh, but it’s best if he stays lost in history.” Xia understood what her brother was trying to say. “We’ll burn the letter when we get a chance and—”

“I don’t have the letter anymore. Azula took it back,” Zuko told them.

Xia wasn’t surprised. Not after what he told her earlier in the day about what if he wasn’t Fire Lord.

“You let her?!” Her brother sounded shocked.

“We need to focus on the task at hand, and that’s looking for my mother,” Zuko said and started to walk away. “We’ll figure everything else later including where—and who—I’m supposed to be.”

Aang grabbed his shoulder to stop him but turned to his sister. “Are you listening to this? Tell him he’s crazy!”

Xia looked back and forth between them and she sighed and turned to Zuko. “When people come to your throne room, and bow they’re not bowing to you. They’re bowing to what you represent, which is an era of love and peace. It doesn’t matter who your real father is.”

His eyes softened at her words, but he hardened them. Behind them it seemed things between Azula and Katara had grown tenser. 

“How much longer do you expect to keep this crew together, Zuko?!” Sokka yelled over the two girls bickering. “I give it another two minutes tops before something is either on fire on encased in ice!”

“There’s one more place to visit and then we’re done,” he said to everyone but meant it for Xia and she knew. “We’re going to Forgetful Valley.” He turned to her for her support.

She nodded her head. “Okay, but we go in the morning. Noren said it was a dangerous place, so it’s best if we go in the day. Let’s…all cool down,” she turned to Katara and Azula, “and let’s get some rest.”

**

Xia dreaded to go to sleep. Lately it seemed she was getting lectured by spirits. So she stayed up and took charge of watch. She stayed close to the fire and watched as everyone slept. She kept a closer eye on Azula, who didn’t look like a murdering psychopath instead she looked like a troubled teenager.

If Xia had known her parents would she have turned out the same? Maybe it was a blessing she had Gyatso instead. Someone who showed her unconditional love. It hurt to lose him, but she had known the love of a parent. Her thoughts went back to the family. It seemed it was possible to find someone and settle with.

Zuko wanted a life with her and she wanted one with him too. She just wasn’t sure if it was the right thing for them. He wanted out. He still didn’t think he was capable of doing the thing she knew he could. His people needed someone who had compassion. There was no one else, not even his Uncle. Zuko needed to be the Fire Lord. She wanted to help find the answers he wanted, but if she ever got that letter from Azula she planned to destroy it.

Even if it meant she couldn’t be with Zuko. Somethings were bigger than love and that meant the safety of the world. It brought tears to her eyes that after everything she wouldn’t grow old with him. Have his children. Raise their children together.

“Why are you crying?” Aang sat next to her.

She was startled since she was so caught up in her world. “Shit, Aang, you scared me.”

“Seriously, are you okay?”

Xia nodded her head. “I’m okay. Just…worried that Zuko may not find what he’s looking for.”

“I’m glad you agree that he needs to remain Fire Lord.”

“Of course. It’s not hard to know that…but…”

“But?”

“We also can’t force him, but I know he will see that he is what he is supposed to be. We just need to see this through to the end,” she nodded her head. “It’s what he needs. He won’t rest until he at least tried.”

“You’re right…as always,” Aang chuckled. “Hey…if you’re having trouble with the air bending techniques…you should by the temple more often and we can finish your training.”

“I’ve been avoiding it haven’t I?” she laughed drily and shook her head. “It seems I still don’t think myself as an air bender.” She shrugged. “That wasn’t something I was allowed to indulge in.”

Aang dropped his head and she shoved his shoulder.

“Don’t get sad on me. I don’t blame you. The monks understood that I would do anything for my little brother. After everything…here we are together…like always,” she smiled.

“You are very good, Xia! Honestly, I think the monks made a mistake not teaching you. You’re a natural! What you did with the fire? That seems to me it’s a new technique! There’s only the two of us to keep our culture alive.”

“That’s true. You and Katara will probably have air benders right away,” she teased and loved to see her brother’s face turn red as a tomato. “I’m joking! You two haven’t even…ew…I don’t even—anyway! I’m good, I promise, well I’m working on it. I know what’s been holding me back. I forgave you and I need to let go of the past to move actually forward. I havent’ said anything cause it’s embarrassing, but…it’s been a long time since I’ve seen spirits.”

Aang’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

She nodded her head. “And even longer since I’ve been to the spirit world or astral projected. Whenever I’ve tried, something holds me back. I’ve found out that it’s been me. I’m afraid to move forward because everything is changing so quickly,” she brought her knees to her chest and hugged them. “I wanted to think I was okay so I buried myself in helping Zuko with the Fire Nation and after all that I went to the Earth Kingdom and helped them. I’ve just…kept doing things to avoid facing reality.”

“You’ve had a lot on your plate. You know you can count on us,” Aang moved closer to her and rested his head on her shoulder. “Please stop thinking you have to do everything on your own. Rely on me…I can help. Please.”

Xia’s chest filled with joy and she knew he was right. “I will. I know you can help. It feels embarrassing to ask you, but it’s time to admit that I need help.”

“I want to protect you too. After everything you’ve done for me, it’s the least I can do,” he said.

She rested her head on his head. “Remember that lullaby I used to sing to you?”

“Yes…can you sing it?” he whispered into the night.

“Sure,” she cleared her throat. 

_Come stop your crying  
It will be alright  
Just take my hand_

Xia has fond memories of singing to a toddler Aang. He would have a hard time sleeping at night because he would have bad dreams. 

_Hold it tight  
I will protect you  
From all around you  
I will be here  
Don't you cry  
For one so small  
You seem so strong  
My arms will hold you  
Keep you safe and warm  
This bond between us  
Can't be broken  
I will be here don't you cry  
'Cause you'll be in my heart  
Yes, you'll be in my heart  
From this day on  
Now and forever more  
You'll be in my heart  
No matter what they say  
You'll be here in my heart  
Always  
Always_

When she was done, she wasn’t surprised to see Aang had fallen asleep. It had been a really long time since she last sang it. She could say it had been over 100 years since she did. It was funny he recalled the lullaby tonight, but it made her feel good. She put him gently to the ground, grabbed his blanket and placed it over him. She would always protect him, but he was right, and she needed to let him help her. Hopefully that meant moving in the right direction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that is the song from Tarzan 'You'll Be In My Heart'. I thought it fit the story.
> 
> thank you all for reading <3


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